I was trying to think of the best way to word this. Let's say you have never had a boyfriend before (or girlfriend) and have never done anything relationship-ish or sexual with someone of the same-sex. And then someone who has had serious monogamous relationships (like 1 year) wants to go out with you. Do you think because they've already experienced a serious long term relationship and now are dating someone who has never come close to that, that there will be some kind of imbalance? I am not even thinking sex wise. Or will it not matter? (does that question make sense at all? it sounds so dumb when I type it out!)
On the surface, I'd say it could matter. Because experience does count for something in lots of things, relationships included. Of course, that is if you learn from experience - some people just keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I know when I first dated, I was a bit of a neophyte in terms of knowing how to interact with someone at the relationship level. But I think I learned quickly and ended up being the more mature one in the end.
I'd say you should be flattered. That person has a good idea about what they want in a partner, and they're interested in you! What's important is that you feel comfortable talking to one another. Be honest. If this is a concern for you - the fact that he's been in a long term relationship and you haven't - then tell him that you're concerned about it. I'm sure it's a non-issue though.
If you are interested in him go for it. In any relationship communication is the key. The only way any relationship will progress and grow is to talk. If you have any concerns about the fact that you have not been in a LT relationship communicate with him about your concerns. If he is really interested he will reciprocate.
Any time you enter into *any* relationship there are going to be imbalances. Perhaps that person grew up in a big city and you in a small town. Perhaps you're not at all religious and they are. Perhaps you had a loving family with two parents and he had a single parent struggling with addictions or something. Perhaps you've not been in a relationship before but they have. Or perhaps there's an age difference. I don't think two people ever come to a relationship without there being some major differences/imbalances between the two. The real issue is how those factors play out in the relationship. For example, I hear often of a young person (18-19) going out with a much older person (30+). This is generally a bad idea because the imbalance is so great that it is likely to create a codependent situation where the older person is actually *looking* for someone who is inexperienced and dependent, and the younger person is looking for a "father" or someone to depend on. This, over time, usually keeps both parties from growing and becoming emotinonally healthy, and usually the relationship fails because the younger person starts to grow and wants to become more independent, and the older, codependent person *requires* someone who is dependent in order to feel wanted or needed. But in this case, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Even though you haven't been in a relationship, you've obviously thought about the situation a lot, and you are also going to be going through a period of intense growth (starting college, etc.) So while there may be a mild imbalance at the start, as the other posters have said, if you communicate honestly and openly with each other, discuss the potential problems or challenges that each of you may face, and listen to each other as you get to know each other better, I think you'll find that you bring experiences and wisdom to the relationship that help to balance it out... and having balance and a focus on mutual growth is really what's key to building a stronger relationship.
I wouldn't think it would matter if you are open to a realationship and you take thing's slow and he understand's you havn't had much realationship experiance
go shawn go (*hug*) i think it will be fine. Just let HIM know you are worried cause you have not had a lot of experience. If there are ever issues in a relationship it is most important that the other person involved knows. Otherwise what others said, take your time and make sure YOU are comfortable with the decision because in the end that is all that shall matter.
Every one has to start somewhere (*hug*) Any serious relationship takes time and understanding. I would say have a discussion on what you both expect from a relationship, in general. Even though he has been in a relationship before, he may also have some issues and concerns. No matter how much experience, relationships are always new experiences. Take time to get to know each other slowly. Be honest with him though about how you feel and whats going on. (*hug*)(*hug*)
I don't really think experience in a relationship really matters. You'll both be starting anew essentially, because you have never had a romantic relationship with him. No matter how many people either of you have had, you've never been in one together, so this puts you both on equal ground and you can both take it slow and feel it out together.
I read every response and I feel a lot better seeing what you guys wrote. I needed to read that. I hate when that little voice pops up in your head if you like someone and goes "but what if this causes a problem?" But yall helped make it stfu
