I can be really shy and this is true if I am in the situtaion where I in process of meeting new people. I also dont find it comfortable where I am with more than 3 people at a time. My shyness has resulted me in being a introvert with few friends. Any of you guys suffer from shyness? How do you over come shyness for those that are shy?
I am shy with my family only, or anything that will go back to my family, and with strangers in front of my family. Otherwise I am not shy at all, and act more open with strangers. I have no solution to this, except I used to be shyer. But I tell my mind to speak I guess and make small talk.
If your naturally shy it can be hard. Im not so much naturally shy, but reluctant to go meet new people. Once i do im quite open and relaxed. Relaxing is what you need to do if your naturally shy. You dont want to fake social skills because that is easily spotted. You need to still be yourself, but more openly. Easier said than done, i know. Well, this may not be the best idea, but some booze might help you. Know what kind of a person you are with alcohol though. Some people open up more with it in them, some people just get really dull or angry. If you have a wingman that could also help. Any friends of yours who are social butterflys can tag along with you and help with introductions and such, get you going. Maybe joining a group or club were you have something in common with everyone would get you going. Its alot easier to make conversation if you have a sure fire starting point. I hope some of these ideas help?
This is very important. When I was younger, I would sort of freeze up in awkward or scary social situations and almost panic. I would really beat myself up about not being to carry on conversation, and in turn, this only made me more nervous and insecure and did not help. Over time, meeting new people has become much less of a stress because I stopped being so hard on myself. When I meet new people now, I try not to think of them as being harsh or judgmental and I just try to be myself. I think in order to get rid of shyness, you need to have oppurtunities to practice. So sign yourself up for something where you're going to be forced to meet new people and over time, you'll find that your shyness will become less and less of a problem. It won't be easy at first, and your shyness won't disappear overnight, but it's really the only way to change. And Greggers, I wouldn't use alcohol because then you develop a dependence on it to socialize, and that can possibly lead to alcoholism. If you really want to change your personality, it can't be done through the use of stimulants. The rest of your points, however, are excellent.
i'm pretty shy myself, and it doesn't help that i'm naturally quite a reserved, taciturn person. For a long time i've used the old dutch courage to compensate when out or meeting new people as i do become quite amiable and talkative (and, i'm told, apparently far camper than my usual straight acting self lol!) but as the previous poster has said it has led to a slight dependence as i don't often feel confident enough to come out of my shell without it. Though it must be said i probably drink a tad too much anyway so with a little moderation it might do the trick for you. Other than that... What Greg said.
I think shy people are born with a shy temperament. I am pretty shy too >.> Working in my dad's office has helped me not be so shy. I have to talk to strangers, make conversation, and be assertive. Maybe if you put yourself in a similar situation it will help ^_^
I'm really shy X.X it's my downfall. I woukld REALLY like to find someone, but I'm too shy to actually be "out" IRL :lol:
I think it's interesting how people can be born so very different because i've always been very out going and never had any problems being around new people i can't even imagine being shy I know my advice won't really mean anything to you since i can't relate but i would just say try and relax maybe you could talk to your friend's about your problem and they may help you in some way Sorry i couldn't be very helpful xxxx
First of all, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. People make it out like you have to change and become more extravert...you don't. Ideally what would happen is that you could meet someone who would bring you out of your shell but self confidence and assertiveness come with effort. Have you ever considered doing some voluntary work helping in a way you feel is meaningful? Doing that you will meet other people with similar mindsets and you might be surprised how many more introverts there are. I am very much like you in that I am an introvert; prolonged social interaction or being in big crowds makes me dizzy and desperate for my own company. However, what I have now realised is that I have to set a balance for myself. I enjoy seeing people occassionally but I do not force myself to interact all the time, have some "me time". Doing this enables to recharge my social batteries if you like. Thoughtful, considerate people like you are always the most interesting. You can become more assertive if you want to.
Shyness, sadly, tends not to evaporate. You have to work on making it go away. And the work, sadly, involves you doing precisely the thing you're too shy to do - talk to people. Especially strangers. Two main thoughts help me out when I feel shy. * Everybody is, in essence, like me. They like talking to people. They won't necessarily find me fascinating, or want to be my best friend. But they probably like talking to people on some level. As such, they will not be unhappy or make fun of me if I start talking to them. * If someone doesn't talk to me first, this doesn't mean they don't like me. Again, they're probably like me. They're either too shy to talk to anybody, or else they're talking to the people they already know. If you were in a room with one friend and a bunch of strangers, wouldn't you gravitate towards your friend, and talk to him first? That's just how we are. So the fact that this guy is talking to his friend doesn't mean he's "rejected" me somehow. He's just talking to the person he already knows, much like I would. And it doesn't mean he'll resent me intruding if I go start talking to him. Lex
YES!! I am very shy. Im trying really really hard to be more outgoing and to smile a lot and give more information away to people. I also really need to concentrate on asking others questions about their lives... people love to talk about themselves I just find that im fine in a conversation for a little while (although im very serious with people i dont know well), but then the conversation just dies, and theres this deathly awkward silence and i just cant think of what to say next and sort of freeze up. I think, (hope), this will go away if a work at it and get lots of practice at talking to people to make me more confident
I am pretty introverted, and really don't enjoy making smalltalk with new people, unless there is a mutual interest that really gets the conversation started. In fact, I just suck at making smalltalk at all. I try and make myself do it, but fail miserably most the time. Which sucks, because I do generally like being around people. I think I have even gotten worse as I get older, but maybe thats just my perception. Not sure what to suggest except maybe trying to learn a bit about the people you are new too and try and brush up on things that you hear they have an interest in. Other than that, I find "doing" things with others much more fun than just sitting around chatting. ie, go play sports or a hobby or go somewhere where there is a background to talk about. (zoo, museum, whatever takes your interest) Once you get to know people a little better it becomes easier, but not always. (in my experience anyway) If I find myself with another introvert, the conversation will often die a quick death, but I also don't mind silence if you are comfortable with them. I guess its different for everyone, my work has me in a close environment with lots of different people (only one at a time though) for long periods. Luckily, actual work takes up some of the time, but there is still way too much time for talk, which can become uncomfortable for me at times, depending on the person. I just try not to worry too much about it anymore if I can't find something to say, but it does niggle at me sometimes when you see others having great long conversations and apparently very much enjoying each others company. It baffles me how the conversation just rolls from one subject to another without pause or the apparent effort of doing so. Oh well, thankfully the world isn't made up of all the same people. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.
Lexington has some great advice there, the most important things are to relax and know that everyone is just like you and probably in a similar situation.
