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Being Bisexual

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jack2009, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. Jack2009

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    Do you think that bisexuals is less discriminated than gays? If you say you're bisexual, people will accept you more than if you say you're gay. And there's less stereotypes and all.

    * not that bisexuals don't have their own discrimination which is more than being straight
     
  2. Greggers

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    Well, short answer? Yes.

    But at the same time, its different discrimination. Id say they have it less, but worse off when they are discriminated against.

    Alot of straight people will find it easier to accept someone who is bisexual than gay. This is the exact reason so many gay people come out as bi. The reason people are afraid of gays is because they dont see them as the same as themselves. Bisexuals still have that peice of heterosexuality that a heterosexual can identify with. Of course alot of homophobic bigots will still clump bisexuals into the same category as gays and lesbians and so they get much of the same discrimination.

    The reason they face worce discrimination id say is because bisexuals have discrimination from within the gay community. Its not like gay people go around physically bashing bisexual people or anything. Its more a "silent hate". Things like they cant pick a side or they are jealous because they have a chance at a "normal life" or they are afraid they are going to cheat more. Its a different kind of discrimination, and most of it is due to uneducation. People just dont know all the facts on bisexuality. Its not a deep hate towards bisexuals like much of homophobia is.

    They definitely have the stereotypes too, but yea i would say they are fewer and farther between. Things like they are "easy" or "sluty". Id say thats a worse thing to be branded with than flamboyant or butch.

    Overall, i guess id sum it up with bisexuality is easier for a heterosexual to understand and welcomed in the LGBT community, but your going to get some backlash from both sides compared to just one. If you double dip you get the good and the bad from both.
     
  3. Just Adam

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    everyone and everything is discriminated by someone else thats the way teh world works lifes a bitch i did have a longer post but i just couldent be assed
     
  4. Maddy

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    I think Greg pretty much nails it. Bi people tend to get it from both sides - the ugly belief that bi people are confused or slutty isn't restricted to gay people or to straight people, there are too many people on both sides who believe it. I don't think anyone in the queer community really has it easy, and bisexuals are definitely included in that.
     
  5. littledinosaurs

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    Greg is pretty much right, only the short answer is not yes, but no.
    We're discriminated against equally in my opinion, just very differently.
    I could go on forever about this but i think it's pretty much settled.
     
  6. 71390S

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    I don't like "who has it worse" arguments, but I do think bisexuals get crap from straight people and the gay community.
     
  7. carrie90

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    I would say yes but i don't really wanna get into some detailed reason why because i don't wanna run the risk of offending anybody and i think Greg was totally right
     
    #7 carrie90, Aug 13, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2009
  8. GhostDog

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    I would also add that there is also a distrust of bisexual people. There are those who will not date someone who is bisexual, because they don't trust them to not run off. Gay people worry that bisexuals will leave them for the opposite sex, and straight people worry that bisexuals will leave them for the same sex.

    Moreover, there is often doubt whether someone who claims to be bisexual really is bisexual. "Bisexual men really only like men, and bisexual women really only like men," is a surprisingly common attitude. I realize exactly why - many people do come out as bisexual before they come out as gay (either because they didn't realize at first, or they thought coming out as bi first would be easier). There's also an irritating trend of teenage and college-age girls claiming to be bisexual, not because they are, but because it gets boys' attention (or it makes them more edgy, or they want to be included in a minority, or what have you). And that just makes it all the harder for someone who is actually bisexual, and is sure they are bisexual, to be taken seriously.

    So if you come out as bi, a lot of people are going to doubt what you're telling them. If you come out as outright gay, I don't think you run into that as much (though I'm sure there are plenty of people in denial that their relative/friend could really possibly be gay).

    Also, there is no end of bisexual (usually women) griping about the fact that couples assume bisexuals automatically want to have a threesome with them, just as an aside. Greg already mentioned that bisexuals are perceived as slutty, but I thought I'd throw that particular in there too. I am sort of shocked how much I see that complaint, actually.

    So, parents that have trouble with the idea of being LGBT may find a bisexual child easier to accept. After all, there's still the hope that said child will end up with the opposite sex. And a bisexual in a heterosexual relationship isn't going to be faced with any of the potential hostility that homosexual couples face. In that respect, they do face less discrimination. But, as Greg said, bisexuals get crap from both sides of the fence.
     
  9. Shevanel

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    Greg and Kirah pretty much hit the nail on the head :slight_smile:
     
  10. Katherine

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    I couldn't agree more.
     
  11. malachite

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    I gotta go with the crowd on this one. Even a little hate is still hate.
     
  12. Markio

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    I disagree with all of you!

    No I don't, but I don't want to just post that I agree. Aside from what has already been said, I think there a lot of external factors that can determine "how much" discrimination will be faced by a bisexual person. It's not so much that someone is bisexual than it is the area that they live, the amount of homophobia, the attitudes of straight people and LGBT people that they know.

    I guess I don't really understand how someone is discriminated against "less". Any discrimination seems like too much to me.
     
  13. Nitro

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    No, I think they have it worse. It is more than just the "you are just greedy/faking for attention/confused", and the "your kind brought AIDS to the straight community" comments aren't in vogue anymore, but the discrimination is more than likely worse.

    Why?

    - Heterosexists can insist that since you can feel attraction to either sex, you should simply ignore your same-sex attractions and choose to be "normal". More and more gays and lesbians are being recognized as born the way they are = lost causes to even bother discriminating against because they can only be intimate with someone of the same sex. Bisexuals still have to deal with this crap about choice.

    - There is a concern that bisexuals will simply abandon the larger queer community and/or the fight for rights and acceptance if or whenever they are in straight relationships. In a way even allowing yourself to be re-closeted is a betrayal of the further advancement of the cause.
     
  14. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    I don't think the discrimination is 'less', but I think that it's different. It does differ though if you're in a relationship or not - and whether or not this relationship is a gay or straight one. One thing (amongst many others) that frustrates me is that people assume that one day your "true" sexuality will come out. ie. If I end up with a man, it doesn't mean I was straight all along, and if I end up with a woman, it doesn't mean I was gay all along... But then some do also think you're more likely to cheat, so basically you can't win *sigh*.

    I don't know whether there's more or less discrimination, but I know that I desperately wanted to know whether I was "gay" or "straight", and really didn't want to be bisexual. I've known quite a few bisexual women who have wanted to be able to identify exclusively as either gay or straight and have got frustrated because they can't.
     
  15. Beachboi92

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    yeah i am with joey on this greg and kirah got it right. Although in general i find these labels annoying. It would be nice if there was no need to be labeled. For me it is especially a pain because i am more into guys. But if you think i am going to count out girls you must be crazy. I find some girls attractive and am not going to turn down relationships with a girl for them being a girl. However i imagine myself more likely to be with a guy. The whole label thing completely messes with how i am supposed to come out because if i say bi it is like people think i am trying to ease them into it so i try to be open about the fact that i am more into guys.
    Can we get a new label for me?
    Austin-sexual :grin: the labels bother me people should just be people and who they love should not matter or really differentiate them from others. In a perfect world it would be that way i guess until then i guess i will just have to deal with the odness of coming out where i am :/