Not so much advice seeking

You may not want this advice, but GO TO THE CLUB with your sister.

Reason enough being the fact she wants to take you.

Other than that, the things you listed as to why you dont want to go are reasons you should go, atleast once. Drinking? Dont drink. No one forces you to. Dancing in front of strangers? Being around lots of strangers? Both are phobias that can limit your potential. Trust me on this one. If you have a fear of being around alot of people you dont know, you need to nip it in the butt before it festers into a fear of leaving the house. It sounds extreme, but in time thats often what becomes of these fears. If you actually go to these clubs, with people you know and trust of course, it can be really therapeutic for helping you get more comfortable around people. Its just a way to build up your people skills. Never a bad thing. If you dont like it very much, you dont have to go every week or anything. Just do your sister a favor, and yourself, and go this once. Face your fears!

 

(*hug*) They say that if things don't seem to be going too well, it's good to write down a list of the problems so you can understand and work on them. Well, you've done the first part. Now think about dealing with them.

 

Why are you up til 5am? Why are you up til 4am watching TV? Why are you entertaining requests from friends for help at 4am?

Perhaps you're tired.

I couldn't function or feel good about anything in my life either if I were up all night on a regular basis.

Tell your mom you don't want junk food. She likely thinks she's doing you a favour. Tell her she isn't. Then, go out for a walk.

 

Driver's licence: Even if you don't drive, and don't like driving, having a licence is useful to have, because you never know when you'll need one.

Jobs: I'm in a similar sort of position, and it's really pissing me off that I have this fucking waste of money degree from a shitty overpriced university.

I would advise going to the club. If you don't like it leave. It sounds like you may have some social phobia issues?

Junkfood: Tell your mom that you don't want it, and then don't eat it. Packages that aren't actually open will keep for a long time, and if it goes bad, it goes bad. Lex gave dieting advice once that was basically, "leave one bite of everything still on the plate". As bad as "wasting food" is, there's no sense eating if you're not hungry, and no sense eating junk food if you don't even get enjoyment out of it.

Why are you still awake? Do you surf the internet a lot? Internet = time sink. Similarly is television. Stop using the computer at 10PM or earlier. Spend time that you would spend online reading those books you have.

 

Just need to get some stuff off my chest. ^.^ This doesn't really require much response, unless you have some thoughts you wish to share.
OK.

I am turning 19 in a couple months. Great. For my birthday, my mom said she's going to give me some money so that I can take my driver's test. Whoop. I don't want to get my license. I never have wanted to. But at least I'll have some ID, and I'll be able to drive when I get a car (in a million years).
Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

I need a job. If I don't get one, I don't have a place to live. Simple as that. I've put out resumes, no phone calls. Going to go hand out some more on Friday. I like money.
In this labo(u)r market, finding a job tends not to be as easy as handing in the resume. Do your research beforehand, find out what they really need, tailor your resume to suit, find out who to contact about getting hired, give THAT person the resume, and follow up with a phone call a few days later. Repeat as necessary. And it might be necessary twenty, fifty, two hundred times.

Last Saturday, after staying up until 4 to watch a show (it airs in a different time zone) with a friend, another friend I haven't spoken to in months sends me and IM and says she needs to talk. She has a problem and needs advice. Great, I'm glad that you trust me. I'm glad that I managed to help. Not so much glad that you kept me up until 6am and are never there for me in return.
Start recording the show and watch it at a more reasonable hour. And if your friend really and truly isn't there for you, call her out on it. If you try to talk to her, and she gives you the cold shoulder, say "Listen, I stayed up until 6am when you needed a friend, and I think the least you can do is return the favor."

I have made a big mistake. I have tried to erase people from my life that should not have been forgotten. I have done stupid things and pushed them away because I was upset and didn't think things through. I don't know if I can ever make it better. But if they never speak to me again, I'll know I deserve it.
Get off the cross - we have better uses for that wood. Start rebuilding those relationships. Send some short friendly e-mails or facebook messages, ping a hello on IM, send a friendly text. When you get a response, nurture it and help it grow.

My neighbour, who has lived beside me my entire life, had a heart attack and died a couple days ago.
Sorry to hear.

Back to the turning 19. My sister wants to take me to a club. I don't drink. I don't dance in front of strangers. I do not do well in areas where there are lots of people I don't know. Everytime someone invites me somewhere, someone else they know shows up and I get ignored. Every time. I am not a 'club' type person. She's been looking forward to taking me somewhere for years. How am I supposed to say no?
If you've never been to a club, how do you know you're not a club person? Think of it as a new experience. Like going to a new town for the first time, or a new restaurant. Maybe you'll hate it, maybe you'll like it, but either way, you'll have given it a shot.

A friend of mine wants me to come visit for Halloween. He wants us to dress up and go to this bar he visits a lot. Why do people keep wanting to take me to these places? He's one of my best friends. I lived in his room for two months. I haven't seen him for almost a year.
My friends never try to drag me to places I don't want to go. Have you really made it clear that you don't like going to these types of places? Is there something else you'd like to do, or someplace else you'd like to go, for Halloween? Why not suggest that? "I'd love to do something for Halloween, but I was hoping to do X. Any interest in doing that with me?"

I am a terrible son. Probably not that good of a friend.
Neither is a badge of honor, despite what you might think. Instead of telling the world about it, why not makes some strides in NOT being a terrible son, or a bad friend?

I have three library books to read in 6 days.
Read.

Why does my mother buy me so much junk food. I really can't eat all this, but she's already spent the money. I don't want the stuff to go bad. I don't even like candy.
Probably because you eat it. If I buy food for somebody, and they eat it without comment, I'm going to assume they like it, and that they don't mind me continuing to do so. If you'd rather she bought you something healthy, why not ask her? "Thanks for the candy, but I'd really like carrot sticks or broccoli florets next time. Could you pick those up for me the next time you're at the store?"

I eat way too much. I should surf the internet on a treadmill.
Do it.

One of my best friends is having a baby, I need to get my passport so I can go visit her. Another of my best friends wants to have sex with me. Another of my best friends is dating the guy who wants to have sex with me. Ugh.
It's horrible being popular, isn't it? The popular have their burdens just as the lonely do. They're just different problems.

Why am I still awake at 5 am?
Because you have reading to do, assumedly.

Lex

 

Social anxiety, developing agoraphobia, and possible signs of sedentary habits are not a laughing matter. They all feed on each other very easily. Afraid to go meet people or do things with groups of people around? Your anxiety will tell you to stay home. Staying home too much? Your agoraphobia will tell you it's dangerous outside. Agoraphobia telling you to stay inside all the time? You won't bother to even keep up with life and will begin to suffer from sedentary diseases such as obesity (accelerated by junk food), blood pressure issues, and possibly into diabetes. Leave yourself in that condition too long, and you get some really fun things to deal with like edema (fluid buildup in the legs that causes them to swell), pressure sores (the skin ruptures due to friction from ever-tightening clothes), and general weakness and shortness of breath.

I agree with Greggers on this. Any obesity specialist will tell you that this is a very common psychological pattern that allows people to slip into a lifestyle they never wanted but thought they were forced into.

My advice is to just go out and not care what other people think. So you're drinking soda? So what. That girl in the other booth is drinking soda too (with rum). Or just say you're the designated driver (even if you can't quite drive yet) and you often get free or discounted non-alcoholic drinks. And when you're at home, if you don't want junk food, don't take it. Tell your mom next time that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, but you'd rather focus on nutrition. Or give it to a friend that you think you've wronged.

As for taking walks, I highly recommend them! I actually look forward to my evening walk as soon as I get home. Put on an ipod (I recommend only putting in one ear bud just so you can hear traffic coming or anything odd going on) and just take off and see where you end up. When you get tired, find a place to rest for a few minutes and then head back home. If you don't feel comfortable walking during the day, do so around midnight or so. By the time you get home, you'll be winded and your energy will be spent, so you'll also be doing yourself a favor and tiring yourself out which will make going to bed at a reasonable time quite easy.

Hopefully you take some of what people have said here to heart. The only person that can change things is you. You're only 19, not 89. I know 89-year-olds who get out and walk, go out and play bingo with friends, and have a great time. Until you turn 90, there's no excuse.

 

Whoa,I guess I see some of the problems completely differently than others do.

It is probably a good thing to have a license even if you doubt you are going to use it.Take the money and work on getting your license.You never know if it will come in handy someday.

As for the job hunting.When you put in an application find out who is in charge of the hiring and give them a call after a few days just to make sure that they got the application if you did not give it to them directly.Keep calling every few days until you hear something from them even if it's negative.

You do need to start recording the show and watch it at a later time so you can get more adequate sleep.You should not be on the computer that late either.Set a specific time to turn the computer off and focus on getting more sleep.As for your friend not being there for you but still asking advice,I agree with Lex who told you to call her out on it.Tell her that you are reluctant to give advice when she has not been there for you reccently.

I too have said and done stupid things that have caused me to lose some friendships.When I realized that I was pushing them away by doing what I was doing and saying what I was saying,I sent them emails and apologized profusely.It took some time but they eventually realized that I was very sorry.

Sorry to hear about your neighbor.

As for the club thing.It is possible to now you aren't a club person without going.I have never gone to a club because I don't drink and clubs make me uncomfortable because of all the alcohol flowing.I don't think you should go if you don't want to.Even if your sister wants to take you.Tell her that you don't feel comfortable going to a club and ask if you can do something else fun together.

You shouldn't have to go anywhere you don't want to go.People take other people to bars and clubs because it is the place that they feel most comfortable.They may not realize that the person they are taking to these bars and clubs may not be into the club or bar scene.Suggest an alternative to a bar for Halloween.Maybe something you both can enjoy.

Focus on working to be a better friend and a better son.Don't focus on how you are a bad friend and son.Focusing on negative things will eat you alive.

Do some reading.Those books aren't going to read themselves.

Speak up when your mom buys you unhealthy things.Keeping silent will only assure her that you like and are eating the junk food that she buys you.

Surfing the internet while on a treadmill is actually a great idea as long as you don't let the internet distract you.

Popularity could be more of a burden than anything because of the events and parties and friends you are invited to see.Prioritize the people and things you want to see/do.

I don't know why you are still awake at 5am.Maybe it's time to read those library books.