So - I am on the cusp of being fully out. Fully out, that is, apart from extended family. My mum knows, (I'm not sure yet if she's told my dad though), and others in my close family know. A lot of my friends know, but most of these are friends who don't live where I do. Some people I hang out with know on an everyday basis know but most don't. I think a lot must be wondering because sometimes I feel I am VERY obvious. I been very obvious of late (I think anyway) but I think that people either don't notice, or, if they do, they don't really feel able to say "Oh, so are you gay then?" - which is understandable really. Anyway, day-to-day I live as straight, apart from when I'm exclusively with friends who know about me. However, I have in the last week told more and more people, or hinted at it - and to people I'm not so close to who I know are less likely to keep it secret. I know that if they tell people, they will go to my friends (who know) and who I know will try and avoid answering them because they know that I don't want people to know at present. I'm therefore thinking of telling my friends who know that it's not longer a secret, and that it's OK for them to mention it, and to mention it explicitly in conversation with people in such a way that will mean it'll spread. Not in a "coming out" way, but in a general, casual way - but, importantly, not in a "this is a secret" way. I'd quite like the information to just spread now without me having to tell anyone else. The people who needed to hear it from me have heard it from me, so now I think everyone can know. This feels like quite a big step. Because I have extended family on facebook, I can't yet come out on there, but it would be nice to be fully out amongst my friends. I would then be out to my family and friends - which would be nice. I think that I will probably do this in the next week or so. Oh - and I'll be coming out as bisexual, leaning more towards gay. I cannot believe how far I have come. When I first came on here I had barely admitted it to myself, and I found it really, really difficult to even type the words. But now - well, if people around me haven't got the hint yet, then I'm just going to have to clarify for them! I think that it will be strange and mainly anti-climactical. It just seems like a really odd thing - to be OUT. For everyone to just know, and for it to be a non-thing. Bizarre! But do you think this is a good idea? ie. To let my friends who already know know that it's OK to tell people if they ask, and for me to step up a gear from saying of actresses "She's attractive" to referring to myself as bisexual? I don't want to make a huge big fuss, and to be honest, for some people it'll probably just be clarifying what they're already thinking!
I say go for it! Once the issue is laid to rest by just being open about it, people will have a brief period where they're waiting to see how you'll react. Once they get used to the fact that you're fine with it, they will be too. Within a few weeks, it'll feel like normal again.
