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Moving! Coming out in a new school.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by notquitebutch, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. notquitebutch

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    Okay, so I'm moving to a new town in a new state after living here for 13 years. Here, I only came out to my closest friends, because I was afraid of people who knew my family at my school to find out and tell their parents, who would tell my mom.

    BUT! Since I'm moving, I feel like this is an opportunity for a whole new start. I want to be out at this new school, I'm so sick of being in the closet! Is that okay to do as a new kid? (I'm going to be a Junior.) Obviously, I don't want to run down the hallways like "EVERYONE!!! EVERYONE! I'M A LESBIIIAAAAAAN WOOOOO!" ... Yeeah. I just don't know how to subtly come out to people. (Well, okay, my looks help, but I don't want people to just wonder, like they do here. I want them to know, especially other gay girls ahah)

    Sorry if that was rambly, but yeah. Any advice would be awesome!
     
  2. GhostDog

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    Rainbows! =D Wear a little bracelet, a button on your bag, or a necklace or somethin'! In my experience, some straight people might miss it, but to anyone who's LGBT it's a dead giveaway. ;D

    When conversations turn that way, you could also talk about girls you think are cute. What you like in a girlfriend. Casual stuff like that! I've been noticing how often my straight friends drop little references to their own sexuality. "Oh, he's cute." "Well, I think the guy you're with is more important than any wedding planning, anyway, heh!" "It seems like every guy I meet is a loser, taken, or gay!" It wasn't something I noticed until I realized I was holding back the same kinds of comments about the ladies. ;P

    But, yeah. Rainbows! It doesn't take much. I have a spiffy little rainbow friendship bracelet a friend of mine made for me when I went to visit her for Pride. <3 It's not huge or flashy but it gets the point across!
     
  3. Greggers

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    The rainbow thing is a good idea, i would go with that.

    BUT - take the schools "temperature" on LGBT issues first (so to speak).

    Is there a Gay Straight Alliance?
    Are any of the teachers out?
    Do you see any other obviously lgbt students?
    What laws does your state have on lgbt rights?

    Just try and make sure its a safe environment.

    This is an example of why:

    "A Minneapolis school board awarded a student $25,000 after an onslaught of homophobic slurs and verbal harassment by two teachers, reports the Star-Tribune."

    Thats from The Advocates website today. This kind of thing is not super rare. You might face some hard times if you try to come out in a school were a teacher is severely homophobic or any number of reasons. This kid in the article is one of the lucky ones, he got money for it. This kind of thing happens all the time and not every kid is that lucky about it.

    Im such a debbie downer haha, but im just trying to be cautious for you. If everything seems ok, go find that rainbow jewelry.
     
  4. notquitebutch

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    Haha oh no, I'd totally make sure it was safe first before I plaster myself with rainbows! I do know they have a GSA, and I get the feeling it's a very accepting place (HUGE school, in PA about 40 mins from philly.) I emailed the guidance counselor a few months ago and asked if it was active, I was so desperate ahaha. I've also seen plenty of people's myspaces form the school who are out, so I"m hopeful!

    I'm planning on maybe a rainbow bracelet, but I don't want to be a walking pride flag ahah. I was thinking maybe some locker magnets?
     
  5. Ben

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    You could wear rainbows if you want everyone to know you're gay.
    Alternatively, you could just enter school in "already out" mode. So when talking to new people, you could just casually drop in gayness. "It would be nice to have a girlfriend right about now..." "She's hot." "Omg why does he insist on flirting with me. I've told him I have no interest in guys. Rawr"... etc

    It sounds like a good place. So instead of amplifying your gayness, I'd recommend that you say what you want to say and don't hold back any more.
     
  6. Absentminded

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    I agree with Ben. Just pretend they know. Don't worry about 'being different'. I'm THE ONLY gay kid in my school, which is kinda homophobic (full of rednecks...), and I don't get much harassment.
    Good luck!!!
     
  7. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    I agree about the GSA, be who you are with or without rainbow gear. Moving always gives us a fresh sense and a new start. best of luck.
     
  8. xequar

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    You're going to be new to the school and you don't know anyone?

    Don't bother being in the closet in the first place once you get there. Seriously, you don't even need to formally come out to anyone there. Just act as though you've always been out. Wear a Pride bracelet or put a pin on your bag or something and just be out. If someone asks, be honest. Don't change pronouns if you have a girlfriend or whatever. Act like you own the joint and that being out is the most natural thing ever, that it's a non-issue, and others will take their cues from you and treat it the same way. Feel free to join a GSA if they have one.

    Ultimately, just be you. Be you and be proud of being you.
     
  9. Jace

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    do it
    haha i did it when i moved and it was great
    great great great

    when people ask just saay yes! i am a lesbian.
    and sooner or later everyone will just know and nobody will care

    its way better to be honest from the start than to come out later