Hey All, So, I got a question. Have you ever talked to someone online (Facebook, MSN, other forums etc.) that you never met but started talking to in the first place because of such above mentioned sites. Like, you joined a gay forum or gay Facebook page and people started adding you and talking to you on MSN? Did you ever decide to actually meet them in person and if so, what happened? Were they everything they said they'd be or were they scuzzy pervs looking to hook-up? Just curious. Thanks
And he was cool, and sweet like he was when you first spoke? Did you both demand to see pictures of each other?
I met my first girlfriend on a roleplaying site and we talked for 2 years before I was ready to show her a picture of me.In February I added her on Myspace and Facebook.
I was going out with a girl who I met online. Distance was a problem though, we haven't met...yet..I'd like to say. I think as long as they're about the same age, it's okay. As far as meeting up, I can't give much advice based on my experiences, but I suppose if you haven't been talking to the person for a long time, and things seem a bit sketchy, it's always good to bring a buddy when you meet the first time Better safe than sorry!
Yeah, two people can decide to do that, but there's pros and cons to it. Many people don't even believe that it's a good thing. I guess you can sort of relate it to a long distance relationship...without having ever met lol. From my experiences at least, I suggest you go veryyyy slowly with it. Cuz at least for me, I feel, once you're going out with someone via internet, phone, and text, you can only go so far. For us (meaning me and my ex) I think it just got to be too much. Everything was fine, but after a while (having talked 3-4 years) things just started to get bad. There was just that big chunk of being together, face to face that was missing. Talking about what we would do, how it would be, etc just made it too hard. Cuz I would give up everything I have to be able to see her. And see? Haha I'm just rambling on and on...it get's to be quite difficult if you're not careful. Friends via internet and then meeting up (if you're careful) is cool, relationships...can be tricky. But not discouraging you- that was just my experience. Just be careful! ;D
that's what I'm terrified about. I don't want to get serious with people I talk to online...half of them don't even live near me, let alone my country! And the other thing is there are two guys that seem "decent", and they don't live too far from me but I HARDLY KNOW THEM!!! I don't want to in one of my weaker moments say "OMG Let's hang out!" because honestly what do I know about them? They could be complete freaks! And there's one guy in particular (who eerily lives VERY CLOSE to me LOL) says he LOVES me...I've been talking to him for less than a month! ^S)
Yeahhh, the guy that says I love you after a few weeks- you can just scratch him off the list. First, that's creepy. And second...it's creepy. Obviously, he's not looking for any sort of relationship (Otherwise he wouldn't have said that so early and would be more serious). I'd say just by that he's more on the creeper side. The other guy...I mean, you could get to know him more, maybe talk more? Is he the same age as you? If you do get more involved with that, I'd say wait a few more months of talking, and if all is still well, maybe hint to meet? Just be careful. If he says anything creeper-ish, scratch him off the list too. There's always just going out in the world and trying to meet other people without the use of the computer! Which...I'm trying to do. D:
I've met one of my best friends on Yahoo Messenger. We've only seen each other once in real life, though.
You guys gotta hear this. It's 2:53am and remember how I said there are two guys that seem "decent"? Well, those were the two I was thinking of getting to know better. But the one who lives relatively close by just told me today he got a girlfriend! LMAO! And get this, he says he loves her after one day! Relationship with him MY ASS! I'm glad I can close the door for good on at least one. The other is decent but he's a bit sketchy...
Two of my good friends first met and talked over Myspace and then IM, met up, and have been together for over 8 months. Another friend I met through Myspace, he, in turn, met another of my friends, and they ahve been together over 2 years. People on Myspace or Facebook aren't inherently good or bad; there are both, but it's wise to be cautious when first meeting; people can use fake pictures, lie about their relationship status, age, or almost anything else. My best suggestion is, if you are meeting someone who lives relatively close by, always talk on the phone first, and preferably meet in a public place, and with another friend if possible. Spend enough time talking to get a feel for whether the person seems genuine and make your decisions from there about whether you feel it's a potential friend or more. If it's someone who doesn't live nearby, I very strongly suggest not meeting them in person unless and until you've seen them on live webcam so you can at least reasonably confirm that the person is the same person in whatever pics you've seen; alternatively, ask the person to take some really oddball pic (strange facial expression while holding a can of soup or something) which can't easily be photoshopped. Talk on the phone enough to really get a feel for the person. It sucks to have to take these precautions, but there are too many bad situations out there, and if someone really cares about meeting with you, they should understand, and share, your concerns for safety. I've made lots of great friends that I originally met over Myspace or Facebook or some other site and have since become great friends with in real life. It's a great resource if used properly and with a reasonable degree of caution. Don't be afraid to try, just go into the situation armed with information and common sense
I think you are wise to be careful. The personas people put on online are sometimes what the aspire to be, not what they actually are... However, since there are relatively few gay people around (statiscally that is), sometimes going online is a viable option to overcome that difficulty. I think you should be careful, but proceed and see what comes of it.
It can work out for some, however I would generally advise against it. I had a close family member who dated a guy online for upwards of a year. They talked on LiveJournal, AIM, MSN. They traded pictures and even talked on the phone every night. They had plans to meet and everything. Her Dad ended up doing some pretty extensive investigating and discovered that her "boyfriend" was actually a 21 year old girl trolling. So be careful, there are some crazy people out there.
About 9 months ago, I starting talking to someone because he had posted a message on a forum saying he was moving to my city. So for 9 months we have been emailing each other, and occasionally talking on the phone. Well, he moved here recently. I went out for drinks with him 2 nights ago and he just seems so different in person. Someone who I would not normally be friends with. So now I don't really know what to do. :/ So yes, I have met someone in person.... it didn't go as well as planned.
I have had a few experiences with this. A meet a lot of people through a music forum, and we were all a very nice international family. It was way cool, and one summer we all meet. Sadly life took other turns for me, and i lost contact. Most of them were french. I still have a friend to whom i still speak and have met in person although she's from Sweden. Two of my best friends have met their partners online!! One couple is leaving together and is happy, and the other even has a little baby girl. They all met through music connections:icon_bigg If you want my advice, i'll say this: don't trust people just because they seem 'nice'. It takes time to get to know someone, and you might get burned. Many people out there aren't what they seem to be at all.
Good commentary here from all. Here's a couple more things I'd add: -- When talking online, notice what's being discussed, and notice how discussions change over time. If you find yourself talking about a wide range of topics in a fair amount of depth, then you likely have some common interests. If the conversation tends to focus on one more more things, particularly if it focuses a lot around sex, that would be a gigantic red flag. Even more so if the person is asking you a ton of questions. -- Online personality is naturally very different than in-person. We don't write exactly the same way we speak, and so much of communication is non-verbal (body language, speech cadence, etc) and social interaction is so much different. As Gurds101 found, that can often make for an awkward situation if you find you don't connect in person. And, as has been stated, *many* people are not who they say they are, and the incidence of creepers seems to be increasing exponentially, so one does need to be cautious. But at the same time, I've met several people myself over Myspace or IM who have since become great friends. I do think if you're careful and take precautions and seek input from others, you can make rewarding connections with interesting people you might not otherwise meet. --
