So I was invited to a party last night. I'm always accused of not getting myself out there or making myself known so hesitantly I went. I met this guy last night and we just started talking. We had a lot of things in common. At the party I also met his ex-boyfriend who currently they are trying to patch things up. He started telling me about it and telling me how frustrated he was and just doesn't think it will work. So I just counseled him a little, told him that I am not going to make the decision for him but if you are no longer growing together, you talked things out and changes aren't happening than you probably need to re-evaluate. Anyway, where ever I went he ended up coming to talk to me. Right now, I feel that I have made a friend out of this situation and it could be something more in the future, however, I don't want to be anyone's rebound or get in the way of breaking them up. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? What did you do? What was the outcome? What's your advice?
Treat it like anybody else you just met. You contact the person (you DO have contact info, right? Phone number, e-mail address, facebook?), and tell them you had fun hanging out last night. Then you wait for a response. Lex
Hi there! I'm sorry if this is going to sound harsh or if this is something you rather would like not to hear, but I think you are getting way a head of yourself here. He talked to you and from the sound of it, he needed to talk to clear his mind or get it out there to perhaps process it better. You might have started a friendship, but there is no guarantee that anything will happen beyond that, and even perhaps beyond that evening. Having things in common might actually have helped him to open up to you, because it makes it easier to talk. He could at some level 'relate'. I have run into people who wanted to talk about something, and after they did, we talked a couple of times more, but then it stopped. Did we have things in common? Yes we did! It seems that you felt really good after having been able to helping him, and perhaps some of your feelings were reinforced when he came over some more, but also try to keep in perspective as much as possible. It is very easy to get 'carried away' and to misinterpret signs and body language, especially if you have started to talk to him. Maybe just try seeing it as "I have helped someone yesterday, maybe he'll call or e-mail, message me, and maybe we can get together for a coffee or drink." Wait a couple of days, and maybe contact him and see what happens. But I wouldn't go beyond that for now. You don't know what's going to happen. Take it slow.
I'd be strictly his friend till he figures it all out. You don't want to be the reason why he chooses to stay or leave.
I'll add my voice to the chorus here. You met someone in one situation, when he and you were in a specific mood, and you had an enjoyable experience. None of this means that he's a friend, and you certainly can't conclude anything happening in the future from this. Only thing you can do now is just remaining in contact. You could ask him if he's doing OK, and mention you had fun talking to him, and see how he responds. But getting emotionally invested from just meeting someone once is not the best option. Never take things more than one step at a time.
