Currently, I'm out on fb and to my parents, siblings, and two cousins (though a bunch of my other cousins and uncles and aunts are on fb so they might know...). If anyone asks me, I'll tell them, unless they are known to be violently/abusively homophobic. For five months starting in sept. I will be living on a tall ship with about 50 other people. There is no way I'm going to hide my sexuality from any of them, nor will I pretend to be straight. My main concern is basically the whole locker room thing. I will be sharing very close quarters with 3 other girls and I really don't want them to look back over everything that they and I have done and find something they think was an opportunity for me to be all pervy... What I am wondering is which way you guys think is better in terms of being out on the ship. The two I can think of are a) treating it as a non-issue, if it comes up (talking about crushes or something) just being totaly open sort of 'oh, you didn't know?!' kind of thing or b) being blatently out, wearing my 'Not gay as in happy but queer as in f--- you' shirt with my rainbow belt and rainbow bracelet and anklet as soon as I can (it is a private school so there will probably be mandatory unifore wearage for the first few days or something, I'm not really sure how that will work) and when I meet my roommates saing something along the lines of 'Just so you know, I'm queer, I like girls, I'm not a perv, if you have a problem sharing a room with me, I'm sure you could talk to someone about switching room with someone.'. I like and dislike both... The first is homonormative rather than heteronormative which I think is really cool, but it could cause problems if the subject doesn't come up for a bit and people freak a month or teo in. The second lays it all down and gets it out of the way but I am such a shy person and it would be totally terrifying. I have never come out directly before. It's either been someone asking me after I had QT2BSTR8 as a status or through a them asking - 'who do you like', me - 'I'll answer yes or no' and then them narrowing it down. I came out to my dad by giving him a link to a queer camp I went too saying 'I really want to go to this', and to my mom by telling her about a time when a bunch of friends had narrowed my possible crush down to one person but he wasn't it, they never thought it might be a girl. I just really don't like conflict but neither eliminates it... The first brings potential issues later, while the second is rather confrontational. I'm thinking I might combine them... Just wear all my rainbow stuff like I normally do (my anklet stays on, so does the bracelet, but I only wear the shirt as often as any other and only my one pair of jeans has any belt loops) but I won't explicitly say anything unless it comes up. What do you guys think?
I'd treat it as a non-issue and continue to wear the anklet/bracelet, but maybe shy away from the shirt.
I'll second this. If your attitude is, "Yeah, I am, so what?" rather than "Ok, guys, just so you know, I'm queer, I hope that's not a problem, and if it is I'm sure you can talk to them about changing rooms..." it seems like it'd go over smoother. The first says, "This is who I am, no big deal," and the second makes it sound like you're apologetic for being who you are. It's harder for someone to make a big deal out of it, if you don't. And if they find out and flip out, they're gonna look like they're overreacting to anyone with half a brain. (Note: I'm not saying 'don't wear pride stuff because that would make a big deal out of it', it's more that I'm saying you should treat it like it's either just a normal thing, or a normal thing that is totally awesome. Don't approach people as if they're going to have a problem with it, I say. Then if they do, it's on their own heads.) 'Sides, if anyone says, "So, wait, do you look at me in the locker room or something?" you can say something like, "Pfft, get over yourself, you're not my type," or, "Nah, lesbians are way hotter anyway." =P
