Hey guys, So I recently graduated from college with a degree in education and I'm currently looking for a job as a teacher. My problem is that the districts that are hiring in my area are in rather rural areas. I was looking forward to moving away and being able to be more out, have a boyfriend, etc., but the areas that are hiring are not exactly conducive to meeting other gay people. I may have the opportunity to move to a major city that is within an hour and a half, but I really don't want to get into teaching in an inner-city school. I suppose I should have thought this through before I chose to major in education, but at that time I was still very much in the closet and didn't think I'd ever be coming out. I had an interview that would have been in a suburban district just outside an awesome city that would have been a major relocation, but I just found out I didn't get the job. I just had an interview today that's pretty much my last chance for employment for the school year, and it's kind of in the middle of nowhere. Anyone else have similar issues? I've seen the advice of moving to more urban areas to meet other gay people, but what if that's not really an option?
I was in a somewhat similar position. I looked all over for an entry level job in my chosen field, and like you, pretty much everything available was somewhere with the zip code EIEIO. But I knew I wanted to get my foot in the door, so I bit the bullet, and took a job in a city called "Farmington". Even if you don't know the town, the name tells you pretty much all you need to know. Not much to do, and certainly no "gay nightlife". What did I do? Nothing. Just put my sexlife on the back burner for awhile while I concentrated on my job. I spent 18 months there, and although I can't say as I have much love for Farmington, I don't regret those 18 months at all. I learned a ton, made some friends that I still have, actually had quite a bit of fun, and was ready to graduate to the big leagues upon leaving. Sure, it meant I basically was stuck dating my right hand for a year and a half (this was pre-internet porn, too), but I don't regret it at all. Lex
I'd say go with a sure thing - as Lex suggests. You're more attractive to other gay guys if you're at least employed! Get some experience under your belt, and keep your eyes open for a better opportunity in a more appealing location. Just because you're moving to a more rural area doesn't mean there won't be anyone there for you to meet. Even if it does, if you're working full time you might have some money left over at the end of each term to make a trip somewhere more gay-friendly. Good luck!
Hi, Adrian, With the advent of things like Facebook and Myspace and various other sites, there are plenty of opportunities to meet other gay people even if you're not in a big area, and as those old posters used to say "we are everywhere." I'd say take the job and get some experience under your belt. Even if you're only there for a year or two, it should make it easier to get other jobs and other opportunities. Depending on what sort of person you are and what sort of person you're looking for, my experience, and what I have heard from most of my friends you not only don't have to be near a big city, but sometimes you will find people who are more serious about meaningful relationships when you are in a place where you have to look a little harder. I'm not saying that big cities or bad, or that necessarily meeting people in bars or clubs or whatever is bad either, but the thing that I hear over and over from people in their late teens and early 20s is that, pretty much without exception, what they find in those environments is mostly people looking for hookups, one-nighters, and/or shallow relationships, rather than meaningful friendships and relationships. For me, the opportunity to start in my chosen profession would be my first priority, and I'd still be seeking out opportunities to find interesting people and possible boyfriend material, with an eye toward getting a job in a more desirable place in a year or two.
These days it takes a pretty special person to be able to handle working in an inner city school. In many schools, gang-related issues are common, most of the kids are way behind grade level, many parents have little or no interest/involvement in their child's progress, kids are rude, uncooperative, and have little interest in the topic material, and the schools frequently end up acting more as a babysitter than as an educational institution. The right teacher can be transformative to their students and even sometimes to the entire school -- check out the movie "lean on me" for a based-on-true-story -- but it's a challenge even for an experienced teacher and I can totally see why Adrian would not be comfortable taking on that challenge.
