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Little situation

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Shebbs, Aug 18, 2009.

  1. Shebbs

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    Okay, so I have been hanging out with my friend Skyler a lot lately. Going to his house, and the beach. Today I finally decided to tell him I like him, and have for a while. Went great, he told me he likes me too.

    The only problem standing in the way is, he is my friends ex. It's her fault that they broke up.. but she was still crushed. I don't want to hurt her more by going out with him while she still "loves" him.

    She hasn't talked to me since I took Skylers side in their fight (she cheated on him with a random guy she didnt' know).

    I just want to know your opinion on what would be the right thing to do in this situation.

    Thankss.
     
  2. carrie90

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    Maybe try talking to your friend and explain how you both feel about each other and see her reaction if she reacts badly remind her that it's her fault she lost him and if she really does love him then let him be happy even if it's with someone else
     
  3. Absentminded

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    ...It was her fault for breaking up with him. She didn't have to cheat, did she? It was her choice to do so. And if she still has feelings for him, TOUGH LUCK. Sometimes shit happens, and ya have to pay the consequence.
    If your friend is a really good friend, she ought not have a problem with you dating him. She would just deal with it (just don't tell her EVERY detail of what's going on between you 2). He has the right to be happy too, and so do you.
     
  4. littledinosaurs

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    This sounds like an impossible situation that i have no advice for =\
    let us (me) know what you decide and how it goes!
    Good Luck (*hug*)
     
  5. epiphanies

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    Contrary to the other advice, I would suggest not dating him. Currently my "best friend" is dating my ex. I broke up with him because I realized I liked girls.. so I don't have feelings for him at all. However, it still made things awkward between my friend and I. It would definitely make it worse in your case since she still likes him. You have to ask yourself whether you value your friendship or this guy more.
     
  6. Owen

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    How long has she not been talking to you for? A few days? A few weeks? If it's more than a few weeks, I'd say the friendship may be over, and if it is, then you don't owe her an explanation.

    If, however, it has only been a few days or you are now friends again, then you may want to bring it up in conversation some time and mention that you really like Skyler. You can then gauge how she will react to you dating him by her reaction. If you think you will loose her friendship by dating him, then you will need to think long and hard about whether you value her friendship. Do you see her continuing to be your friend in the future? Has she always stood by you as a friend, or was she more of an acquaintance or or a fickle friend? Relationships statistically don't last as long as friendships (I have no statistics to back that up, bus as a math major, I am allowed to say it) but you could definitely stay friends with Skyler even if you break up,, so if you need to choose between the two, look at who you see yourself being on good terms with longer.

    Besides, if she stops being your friend because you start dating her ex, she may not have been that great of a friend to begin with. Sure, it may be awkward at first, but awkwardness doesn't last forever.
     
  7. Shebbs

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    Thanks guys. I talked to Skyler and we decided we're just going to take it slow. We're not going to make anything official, we're going to hang out more, and see where it takes us.

    I have thought about it, and really and truly, I don't really care about my friend. She IS more of an acquaintance.
     
  8. Absentminded

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    That's good that you talked it over with Skyler. I hope things work out!