I'm not sure exactly why I'm posting this and I don't know how much advice will help because I'm already kind of in the doghouse. But if anybody has anything, please help me out. So I will have been been dating my girlfriend, we'll call her Sid, for two months this Tuesday. She doesn't go to my school and neither of us can drive, so we text and talk on the phone a lot. Sometimes until one or two in the morning. My (lesbian) parents are both insanely strict. I'm not allowed to date or even kiss anyone until I'm out of the house (even though I've definitely done more than kissing:icon_wink) and though I've told them that I'm bi, they seem to kind of think it's a phase. And they definitely don't know about Sid. The more uptight one of the two walked in on us lying on the couch together and asked about it. I lied and she mostly believed me, but I think she's a little suspicious still. The main problem is that the time I sent each text (and I hope to god not the texts themselves) are printed on the phone bill. And the lengths of each phone call, most of which are two or three hours. Since they were late at night, they don't count against our monthly minutes, but my mom doesn't know that so she's going to check up on the number and see if it's a verizon number. I don't know if she will want to know specifically whose it is, but she'll definitely be more suspicious about us if she finds out that it's Sid's. It's been really stressful hiding it and coming up with answers to all the questions my moms ask, and I know I can't keep it up forever. If my parents found out, they would take away everything except school from me. And if they were to actually see the texts and some of the things we've talked about, they would want to talk to Sid's parents. Her dad is extremely homophobic and she's not out to them. I don't want to get caught, both for my sake and for hers. I don't know how much I'll be able to talk to her from now on without making my parents too suspicious. And if they do find out, it's definitely gonna be bad news for her. I don't want to risk that, but I can't end it. I'm honestly and truly in love with her. I know I'm young and stuff, but I swear I am. What do I do? I know lying isn't the best way to go but it's been pretty necessary so far. Should I keep with the 'friends' story, or come clean? And if I do tell the truth, how should I put it so my mom will... I don't know. I'm in trouble no matter how I word it if I tell the truth. Please help, and thanks to anyone who read this.
Yes. One of them had me and the other had my sister, both from artificial insemination from a sperm donor. We don't know who he is, but the cool thing is that my parents used the same donor for both my sister and me.
I could imagine it would be a little difficult for your parents. We've got used to promoting the suitability of gay couples as parents, and how there's no reason that the children should be gay as a result (not there would be anything wrong if they were). But if we are gay from birth, there's bound to be some genetic element to it, which you could have got from your mother. I think you should tell them that they should loosen up about dating, that it's something every person of your age does. Then go with the phase explanation for a while. If they see you and your girlfriend are happy together, they might relax. You could also try talking to them about when they realized their own sexuality, if you can talk at level. I know parents can be quite shy about such things, mine are (mother and father, just to clarify). Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.
That's good advice, thanks. I'm not close to them, but I have talked to them. They didn't come out until their 30's, and one of them was engaged to a man at one point. I think part of the reason they think I'm going through a phase is because I'm so much younger than they were.
Parents (regardless of orientation) usually think that their kids are just going through a phase... apparently it's normal for girls to think they like girls at this age. Unfortunately I fell for a girl under those circumstances, and then she told me that she was actually straight. >.< ANYWAY, if you're comfortable with it, you could come out to your parents and explain things. They might understand that telling your girlfriend's father about the two of you is a bad idea, since they've been through it. If you're not comfortable, then don't come out. Don't put yourself into a bad situation. Good luck.
Here's an idea, if you don't want to lie to them anymore, then why not tell them you have a girlfriend, you don't have to go into detail about what you've done together, just let them know that you're dating. You could invite her round for dinner one evening, let them see how great Sid is. You never know, they might be cool with it if they knew her better.
