3 people - A guy and his girlfriend, and myself. Basically, he says he's now single while she's telling me she doesn't mind if he and I fool around because they have an understanding. He wants to fool around, I want to as well, but I'm cautious because she's giving me the impression they're still together. What's the deal? I'll be talking with them to clear it up, but I'm also looking for some validation (for my concern) or just anyone's take on the situation.
well if you talked to her and she said it was ok maybe she is into seeing or being involved in that sort of thing? or he is and they want to do it... idk and i dont have experience in such a thing but i guess it is wether you are comfortable with he situation or not. Up to you if you wanna get involved in something like that really.
All there is to do is talk to them. If they have an understanding and you're interested then go for it. But make sure you keep it at a hooking up level, don't break them up or anything. Good luck I guess? The whole situation seems odd and I'd never be comfortable being anyone in it.
She has expressed interest in a threesome, or at the very least she would want to watch us fool around. I don't have a huge problem with it..I just told her I wouldn't exactly know wtf I'd be doing, since I've never been there. (lol) She identifies as bisexual, so I'm sure that plays into their understanding. My main concern is not wanting to become a "homewrecker" so to speak.
It's possible that you're getting mixed messages because he hasn't been truthful with his gf. It's also possible that he directly told her he wants to break up, but she's in denial and instead thinks that he just needs to have a fling, and is envisioning a relationship that no longer exists. If possible, I'd say get both of them in the room at the same time. That way there's no he said/she said. If that isn't possible, perhaps emails sent to all parties at the same time. I've seen these situations before where the gf doesn't want to admit their bf is breaking up or that he could be gay... it's very possible the guy is, in fact, gay and is just saying he's bisexual to "let her down easy" or to ease his own transition. If that's the case, and he's serious about being with you, perhaps you can encourage him to just be direct with his gf. But as Jarrett said, good communication is important, otherwise you're setting up for major drama.
If you are concerned about being a home-wrecker then don't do it. Also don't make a correlation between her bisexuality and the fact that she is open to this understanding. They aren't necessarily linked and there are many bisexual people who would be offended by such a suggestion.
literally thought this was going to be a thread about receiving pocket money for sexually ambiguous behaviour. p.s. Sorry for not helping, hope shit sorts itself out x
Thanks. I should have been more articulate, or at least sensitive. I understand that, in some circles there is this awful notion that bisexual means "no rules" or "anything goes" - very ignorant, hurtful and very much beside the point of what bisexuality means to an individual since it dismisses sexual morals completely. I can see that it's a stretch to assume she is "ok" with us fooling around simply because she identifies as bisexual. Sorry!
ha... so this is about a couple saying it's ok for you to screw around with her boyfriend, and that she might make it a threesome in the future, or that you're allowed to be his sex toy? or that he wants to get in a relationship with you? it seems like the girl doesn't actually have any "power" in this relationship, especially if that "understanding" is that it's an open/demoted relationship now.
So we all talked, and we're all on equal footing. They're a couple, and they've sorted out that she doesn't care if him and I fool around. She says it's all up to him whether or not we do anything - so I'm also leaving it up to him. I have no intention to bug him about it, or her, so I think it's best to let him make that decision. She says she doesn't care and that if a girl came along that she was into, she would go for it, and that he knows this. I think this is what I was referring to a couple posts back when I said "She identifies as bisexual, so I'm sure that plays into their understanding." I don't see this as a permanent arrangement. If/when I find someone I would like to date, and if things work out - this would either stop or at the least be discussed. An open relationship (like what it seems theirs is?) is not something I've ever considered, but this experience has opened my eyes in a few ways. There is no doubt a lot to consider, and open and honest talking is paramount...
