Sorry if this is too long. So a couple of days ago I was at my friend's house with my sister. My mom called me and we were talking for a while. So we were hanging up right when I told my friend I thought this one was cute. I wasnt sure if my mom had heard me so I didnt worry. A while after we got home my sister told me my mom asked her if I was gay. My sister covered for me and said no. Like 2 days after that my brother, my sister, and my mom went some where. She told me that my brother told my mom that he's never seen me with a girl so he thinks I'm gay. Now I dont know if my mom knows or not. I'm scared because I know how my mom will act. When I was younger I tried telling her I was gay. I asked her what would she do if I was gay. She totally fliped out and didnt talk to me for like a week. She then had priests come talk to me about how homosexuality was wrong. She even took me religious retreats to get an exorsism. Now I feel like she's doing it all over again. Todayabcef18a596e55c54a3fad22d84
What religion are you? I am assuming you're Catholic, since she mentioned exorcism. Well it's not a sin to be gay at all, but it is a sin to act on homosexual attractions. So it's fine you're gay, but just don't do anything, and explain that to her I guess. Anyways, just give it some time, maybe it might pass or get worse. If it gets worse than it's best to just say you're gay than just go in circles.
Technically in like the written doctrine or whatever it may be marked as a sin for homosexual actions, AKA sex, because it is adulterous behavior that isn't being used for procreation while in wedlock. That's the reason why gay sex is considered a sin. BUT most Catholics sorta know this isn't realistic? Like even in my Catholic High School, we were taught this, but like... they understand that its unrealistic. I mean, that's all just based off a rule technically made by man. Strictly speaking in a sense if you're religious, God made us all how we are, and loves us for it. So I honestly think he doesn't discriminate, especially for something we are born with. I'm not explaining this completely because... that would take far too long. and I'm not too interested in spending any more time than i already do on this damn computer. Basically, all I'm doing is clarifying the Catholic perception of homosexuality. if you don't agree with religion, or theism, or whatever, that's fine. But don't respond to this starting some stupid war. It gets people nowhere, and is a waste of time, and space on the internet OP, parents can be like that. They can be just as scared and confused as you are, if that makes any sense. You just have to give her time maybe, and try to keep a conversation as civil and calm as you can possibly have it, I'm not really sure what to do though, so hopefully others will have better advice. (*hug*)
saying your gay but you wont act on your feelings is a) extremelly hard b) a very lonley life. i think she must know your gay if shes done so much to rid you of "the gay " >.> in your position i think you just need to say look im your son and im gay, your my mother and i just want you to love me for who i am. i know coming out must be terrifying but so too is all of you tip toeing aroudn teh subject for years to come... you just need to get through to her somehow that this is who you are theres no choice its who youve allways been its who your meant to be and it doesent change anything you just go to bed with someone different. how does you bro and sis react to the idea that your gay? because it should theoretically be easyer to come out to them for support... and they can help talk to your mother... you said your sis covered for you so i assume she knows and is ok with it thats a great start. i know its asking alot and may seem impossible..... but just give it time... and next time your brother says to you that he never sees you with a girl and he thinks your gay ...jsut say well what if i was what would it matter? anyway im sure others have better advice. take care
Well, I'd say that between what you said on the phone, what your brother said, that' you've tried to tell her when you was younger and the fact she asked your sister if you're gay... If she doesn't know, at least she suspects. Now, it's entirely up to you to come out to her or not. Of course the reaction she had when you first tried to come out wasn't very good, but since then she had time to evolve. She probably won't be very happy about it, but you can't know for sure what her reaction would be. But once again, if you don't want to come out to her that's perfectly fine. Take care, Eleanor
Moms usually have a "sixth sense" about such things, and if your brother and your mom are both asking and suspecting, and you said something to your mom before, most likely she knows. I'd say you might as well get it out in the open, if that feels right to you. Perhaps do it in a letter? The good news is that now you're 17, at least she will hopefully be a *little* more reasonable with you. If she starts with the exorcism / reparative therapy, you can point her to the very recent APA report where the APA executive committee voted something like 166 to 4 that reparative therapy is wrong, unethical, and doesn't work.
