In Love with a older guy:/

How old are you?

 

If I were you I would be cautious. You have never met him before. Just becuase you are in love with him does not necessary mean he feels the same way so a degree of caution should be noted. Maybe its not love that you are experiencing but a crush. Anyway I wish you the best of luck on what you do.

 

While I don't want to tell you what to do, I would suggest that you not meet him especially since he could end up turning on you; some people are unpredictable, and I don't want to see you hurt in any means...physically or emotionally.

Also realize that you're not even at age of consent yet either.

 

NO! No guy that age would want anything to do with a 14, this is dangerous. Leave him alone, and stay away from him. This is just plain sick.

If he's so good looking and sweet, why cannot he find someone around his own age or at least 18??? Just leave him alone.

Does he know how old you are?

 

the age difference beeing your a minor is the problem you have to be careful... why would a guy 31 years old fancy you ...you have to be so careful you could get hurt badly... and 250 miles is a long way ... let someone know where your going if you decide to do this...

use protection ... dont do what you dont want to do ... have teh police ready to call ,pepper spray the lot ... i know you prob think im over exagerating but you got to be soooo careful.

can i ask is this your first male experience talking to this guy?

 

i agree but eralise i cant tell you how to live your life.

 

What I say is going to sound very harsh, but I think it's the only safe and reasonable option you have.
You're 14, he is 31 (or at least he pretends to be) : FORGET IT !!!!!

First a love relationship between a 14 years old and a 31 years old is illegal and there is good reasons for that : he is an adult, you're not.
Second, the fact that a 31 years old guy seems in love with you and wants you to come and meet him should raised all your alarm signals. Have you ever heard about cyber predators ??? He could pretend that he is a 31 years old sexy guy in love with you and be someone else : a child molestor, a recruiter for a prostitution network, a murderer...
Anyway, even if he is who he pretends to be, a 31 years old man shouldn't entertain an online love relationship with a 14 years old boy, he shouldn't want to go on with meeting you and he should know it's illegal.
He doesn't act like a responsible adult, but you can. You can stop that relationship. You can decide you won't meet him. You can decide you'll stop putting yourself in danger.
Please, please, be reasonable !

If you decide to meet him anyway (wich would be a very very bad idea !), please at least do it in a public space, if possible with a few friends and tell several people exactly where you are and who you are with.

But once again, please don't do it and stop that relationship.

Take care, Eleanor

 

I'd be very, very cautious here. At 14, it's natural that you're idealistic and have a crush on an older guy. You get caught up in romantic fantasies and imagine him as your hero or protector. However, if a 31-year-old is attracted to and would pursue anything with a 14-year-old, that's worrying. It could be that he wants to be a mentor-type figure and doesn't have any sexual intentions towards you - not all older men are dodgy. It's also a definite possibility that he's shadier than you think and wants to pursue something sexual (and illegal, and harmful to you), and in that case your crush on him would make it easier for him.
If he meets up with you, whether anything physical happens or not, it's going to reflect badly on him. An adult meeting up with a young teenage boy he met online is always going to look suspicious. Why is he willing to take that risk? What is he expecting from you?

 

You can't tell someone's true intentions from the way he presents himself on the Internet. He wouldn't exactly announce it if he had other intentions. What he says might not be what he means. You're infatuated and you're idealising him, which means that you're seeing what you want to see and possibly missing some warning signs.

 

No normal adult will want to even chat with a 14 year old, they will say "too young", or just leave you alone all together. Romantically or platonic, they just don't have anything in common with that age group.

You're not the age of consent, and even if you are do you honestly think your parents would want you to hang around guys that could be your father? I am assuming they are good parents at that.

Just stay away from him at all costs, you're not in love with him, you're deluding yourself that you love him. He doesn't love you either, at least I hope not. This is so dangerous it's screaming of it. He's psychologically ill or really stupid ( I am going with first), and there's nothing good out of this.

You know this as well, or why would you even create this thread?

 

"Mom and Dad I am going on a train 250 miles from here to meet a 31 year old guy name Tom that I met on the internet!"

"Oh that's fine hun"
"Tell us all about it when you come home!"

"He's really attractive and sweet, and wants to be my friend and I am in love with him! I think he likes me a lot too! He wants me to visit him tomorrow! Is that fine?"

"Yes GO!!!! Be friends with a 31 year old adult that might love my 14 year old son!"
.....
-----------

I think not.

 

No, I wasn't referring your parents were bad, but good parents who would not want their young teenage son with a 31 year old adult (male or female).

 

The fact that you're not thinking clearly is what can put you in trouble. Like I said before, being so infatuated with someone means that your head might not be screwed on as tightly as it could be when it comes to him. He's presenting what he wants the world to see and you're seeing what he presents through crush-tinted goggles, so what you see could be a long way from reality.

I'm not trying to be ageist here. Being an adult doesn't make him a predator. A 31-year-old having a relationship with someone young (but over the age of consent) isn't automatically wrong. However, a 31-year-old trying to meet up with a 14-year-old he knows is attracted to him (and therefore is easier to manipulate) is a red flag. You're at really different stages of your life - he's the adult, he should know this.

If he knows how old you are, knows you like him, and still wants to meet you, he's asking for trouble. I'm only in my late teens, but if I knew someone as young as you was interested in me, even if I liked them as a friend, I'd try to keep my distance physically - I wouldn't put myself in a position where anything could happen.

I'm glad you're taking what we're saying into account, and if that's what you needed to give you another perspective, there's nothing wrong with making this thread