Hi guys. Okay. I haven't posted anything here for quite a while, and that's mostly because everything has been good. Life's been great, I've been getting good grades in school and I haven't been beating myself up about my orientation anywhere near as bad as I used to. This site was an ENORMOUS help in that, it helped me to come out to my parents, family and most of my friends, and to accept myself. I can't express how glad I am to have been on here, you're all awesome! Anyways, back to why I am posting in the support section again. Yesterday I was, pretty much, coerced into asking a girl out. It was after this event that I had the following thoughts start running through my head: "Holy crap, what do I do? I'm Gay." and "How the hell do I get out of this?" Hence I've decided to change my orientation from Bi to Gay. It's not that I'm not attracted to girls, I simply am not willing or particularly capable of dealing with them. Now that I've gotten that part out of the way, comes the hard part. What the hell do I do now? I really like the girl I'm technically 'dating' but more as a friend than anything else, she's a great person. I just don't want to be in this situation, and it's sending me crazy from over thinking it already. I already like someone else, as a few of you probably remember from the last posts I did on here (yes, I still like him. No, it still hasn't gone anywhere... -.-). Now, here's the question. How do I break it off with her without seeming like a complete asshole, or outing myself completely? Thanks in advance, Kaleb.
Gah I hate it when you really like someone but you don't like like them And its like what the fuck do I do? Well you can't not seem like an asshole now that you've been dating her Well unless you tell her you're gay but that's still a bit asshole-ish
What made you get into the relationship in the first place with her? Do it as soon as possible, if it's still early, and say that you rather be friends than dating. If she saids why, then say that you just left another relationship with a girl name Monica, and don't feel ready to get into one. Then she'll ask who is Monica, and you can say she cheated with your friend Greg, and Monica was your girlfriend for two years. I assuming she doesn't know much about you either.
You can try telling her how you feel about her without telling her you're gay. Something like "I really like hanging out with you and I'm really glad we're friends, but I really don't feel anything more than that, I see you more as a good friend than as a girlfriend" doesn't sound assholish to me.
Lol this is can backfire so bad. She can just ask one of his friends and they'll be like "wtf?" Anyways, if you can honestly tell me that you deep down truly care for her, and can fulfill her needs physically, then continue the relationship. If not, be honest with her and spare everyone the drama before it gets out of hand.
ROFL. Very nice. Unfortunately I don't think it will work, I know her pretty well and vice versa. If only it was that simple... I agree with the idea that i should break it off soon, but any more ideas? Kaleb.
Keep it simple and honest. Tell her you're prepapred to be friends with her, but nothing else. Leave the elaborate lies out of this..
Hi Kaleb well first thing, there is no particular way to "deal" with girls and no reason to be scared. I think that mostly, you can act with them the way you do with guys and it'll be fine. More specificaly on your question, as it was said in the other answers, I think being honest is the best thing to do. If you don't want to come out to her yet, I think that something like " I like you very much, but I see you more than a very good friend than like a girlfriend. I'm sorry I have mislead you into that relationship and I hope we'll manage to stay good friends" will be fine. Take care, Eleanor
Hmmm... Probably not the best word choice there with "deal". Sorry if I offended. Thanks for the advice guys, it all helps. Kaleb.
You didn't offended anyone Kaleb (at least not me). It's just that I thought it was a strange word to describe having a relationship
hey, tbh if your not going to be totally honest with her, then be as honest as you can be, just explain that you think you work great as friends but don't think you work as anything more than friends and that you're uncomfortable taking the relationship any further and you think you should just be friends. People respect honesty and if you are good friends you will make it past this, in the short term there isn't a lot you can do to not at all hurt her, but i think that if you are as honest as you are willing to be then you can break it off without coming off as a complete douche, and she will get over it and you can move past it as friends. Anyway i hope it goes ok, just make sure you do end it soonish, the longer you are stringing her along the more of a douche you end up being, and relationships are about honesty and communication, she will respect you if you are honest with her rather than just lying to her.
I agree with everyone above....be as honest as you can with her. Tell her you want to be friends....if you let this go on, it might just get messy and too much to handle (for both you and her). You'll just end up hurting more in the end if you don't do it soon enough.
