I posted a long entry on here a few days ago about my best friend. We tried to be in a relationship together and it didn't work because she put no effort into it whatsoever. After 8 months of her dragging it out and refusing to let me end it ("give me one more chance...") I ended it a few days ago. At first I thought we could go back to being best friends easily enough. We were best friends for over 10 years and only tried a relationship for a mere 8 months (where nothing happened). I was okay for a few days, but I am becoming so angry and resentful. We live together and I haven't seen her in four days. Tonight especially when I think about her, I just kind of want to punch her in the face. I am getting so angry, resentful and bitter. I feel like I am never ever going to be able to look at her again after what she put me through. I am just generally freaking out right now that I lost her as a friend. I'm online now trying to read up on how people can overcome resentment. I just want to move on with my life. This is just horrible. We live together. We've done everything together since we were 12. We're going on vacation together (or supposed to) to Georgia next week and we're going to Europe for 7 weeks backpacking at the end of September. I am seriously freaking out about these plans. Right now from where I am it seems like my entire life got ruined and I am becoming very pissed off.
If you can't be happy without her then distance yourself from her for a while if you can. Poor is the man whose happiness depends on another.
Resentment. It's a very strong driving force for many people. But a very unproductive one. And one that, believe it or not, we are completely in control of our selves. YOU need to decide that you're not going to let it bother you. The reality is that you haven't been cheated out of an entire life. You've had a difficult 8 months. And all of it - the good and the bad - is all in the past. You can't change a single thing. You can't take a single word back. You can't change a single action. So here you are, today.You can let her actions and your regrets bother you, or you can decide to not let them bother you. (It isn't easy, but it can be done!) Look for the positives. Chalk it up to experience. Be thankful that it's over. A powerful way to overcome resentment - and this comes from my 12 step work - is to pray for them. If you're not into praying, then just 'wish' them all the good things that you want for yourself. Because really, don't you want those things for that person? Don't you, deep down, want them to be happy? They obviously aren't. They're obviously in pain. They obviously have issues that they somehow need to resolve and can't. They obviously wanted to be in a relationship and didn't know how. I think the only way to overcome resentment is to reach out to that person - in thoughts, in words, and in deeds. Hopefully that will open up the lines of communication again. At the same time, don't be a martyr. Find new friends too. Do your own thing. Cancel your vacations if you need to, because I can't think of anything worse than spending 7 weeks in Europe with someone who isn't talking to you. Good luck.
