For those of you following my story line on Sex in the City (which I've actually never seen, but sounded like a good line when I heard it on Will and Grace), you will know that I fell in love with my straight roommate, and have been struggling with that for the past six months. Today, he leaves to go back to university for a PhD - he's packed up his belongings and while he'll be back in the city on a regular basis, he'll be staying with his girlfriend while he's here. I have been dreading this day for months - I wasn't certain how I would handle his actual departure. This week was tumultuous. We had planned a goodbye day of sorts on Monday - an evening where we'd hang together and have some laughs. At first it went fine, but after too much to drink out with some friends, our evening was cut short. I was pretty devastated. Tuesday, we were both pretty hungover, so while we did hang together that evening, things were pretty subdued and we more or less just watched TV. Last night was his work goodbye party and birthday party, which was a fun time - when we got back, we had planned to watch some movies and have some quality time, but it was very late and so our night ended pretty quickly. At this point, I was more or less resigned that we weren't really going to have a last moment of one-on-one time to say our goodbyes. I went to bed last night feeling pretty down about this. However, this morning, we both woke up early by chance, and he cuddled with me for an hour or so before we left for work (he's straight, but he knows how hard this has been for me, and so even though he doesn't feel the way I do, he holds my hand and cuddles with me on occassion). It really gave me some closure, and I felt I got to say goodbye, and tell him how much I've enjoyed being his roommate. Ultimately, this is still very difficult - were the circumstances different, I would likely ask him to marry me! - but I think in the long-run it's best that he moves out (I think I need that so I can move on from him and find someone else to be with who can actually love me in the same way I love them), and after this morning, I feel I will be able to cope with the sadness. He's still a dear friend, and someone who I hope be friends with for the rest of my life - and I got to say goodbye too. Thanks for reading - not many people I can tell this story too in my offline life ;-)
Wow - that's tough. I'm glad that in the end you had some time together. I can understand your frustration with the other days leading up to it, but recognize that we rarely get those 'movie-like' moments where you can say good bye to someone. I think this will likely be a good change for you. Your own place, and an opporunity to make new friends and potentially a new love interest. Good luck!
congrats on finding a straight that's confident enough in their own sexuality that they'd do basic things with you like hugs and one on one time I'd miss him too. so what's the criteria that you need for the new roommate?
Yeah - he's special - there's a reason I fell in love with him ;-) It likely is quite unusual for a straight person to want to do this - in this case, it's extraordinary too because he knew how I felt about him (although I think that explains to some degree his empathy). This situation was so difficult because he's the first person I fell in love with, having only admitted to myself and the world (or at least a small part of it) that I was gay less than a year ago. The new roommate actually moved in yesterday evening - about an hour and a half after the old one left (which gave me enough time to cry and be sad, and then pull myself together before he arrived). He's a nice guy - younger than me by about seven years - and thankfully I don't find him attractive (which is good, because he's straight too and frankly I don't think repeating my mistake would be a wise course of action). This is going to be a new experience, as the last roommate was my first roommate ever, and obviously we hit it off as not only roommates but very good friends as well. The new roommate and I know each other a bit, and I would describe us as friends, but not particularly close friends. Whether or not that changes remains to be seen. I'll still see the old one fairly regularly - although since he's living with his girlfriend while out here, we won't spend much one-on-one time hanging out. Overall, the situation isn't bad. Unlike the last one, this roommate isn't on the lease, so if it doesn't work out, then I can make a change to the living situation (although I think that's unlikely). The new one doesn't know I'm gay, and I'm not certain when I will tell him the truth - I would like to get to know him better before revealing that information. With the fall coming, and work becoming more pressing, I don't actually envision spending that much time just hanging around the house, so we'll see how the fall goes.
