I'm not entirely sure this is so much for advice or support, so much as I'm not entirely sure what to make of it! So, I have, for a while now, accepted the fact that I like girls, and the tingly, "LET'S MAKE KISSYFACE NOW PLEASE," feelings are not just the way straight girls feel about each other. This is not in question anymore, thank god. Yet, even realizing this, I find myself comparing myself to other women like I always did, before I realized what my deal was. So seeing cute girls is an interesting mix of excitement and horrible anxiety, as the, "CUTE GIRL AHOY! =D" feeling dukes it out with the feeling of, "Oh god, she is so pretty and fit and her skin is so perfect, and I'm this fat horrible blob with scars, she would NEVER date me, and anyway she's probably straight -- DON'T LOOK AT ME ARGH." I mean, even before I knew, I'd see cute girls and panic anyway, but I just attributed that to jealousy and horrible self esteem issues. Rarely got an emotional reaction of the same intensity out of most boys (but even when I did, it felt different; it lacked an element of jealousy because, as boys, of course they had things I didn't have). But girls sent me into a bit of a tizzy (by which I mean I could barely stand being in the same room with really pretty girls because I got so nervous; they made me feel so insignificant just by being). I avoided mixing with the Perfect Cheerleading Beauty types as a result, just to avoid that weird rush of anxiety, and it's an aversion I never really unlearned. I'm so used to sizing myself up compared to other women. It's what I've always done, and it seems to be something a lot of women do anyway (unless I am under the wrong impression). But mixing in feelings of attraction is kind of throwing me for a loop, here. Is this something everyone goes through? Are people attracted to the same sex more prone to it or something? It's strange trying to sort this out, when all of a sudden I've got these dueling feelings telling me, "She's hot, I should totally go after that, but ohh she dresses better, her hair's nicer, she's prettier, she has better skin than I do, maybe I shouldn't even bother..." Is this a normal thing? And I've just missed out on dealing with it because I didn't realize this stuff until later, or what? Emotions. Quit bein' so complicated. >:|
i think its normal its how i feel when i look at anyone that takes my interest allthough be that itself rare... but if i fall for someone i still get these emotions of not beeing good enough that im inferior to them... its allmost a wow look at them ...should i be bowing? kind of thing.../ i think you just got to do what you can with your looks but get to know a person.... if you want meaningless sex then looks are all anybody goes for....apart from some talent... if you want relationships then it goes slower and the person should be judged upon and not just looks as theres far more to someone than their appearance, so i say give it a go if you see someone smile be confident , sure some will knock you back but others the ones right for you will accept you for you and jump at the oppertunity XD but back to topic your feelings are normal it jsut means a little self esteem issue, not having the confidence in yourself that your as good as others you see...i got that too haha.. but your a great person and you dunno you may be looking at a cirl and one may be looking at you and they coem over to you keep the faith XD
The same happens to me. When I come across good-looking dudes I tend to feel bad about my appearance in comparison rather than attracted to them. Low self-esteem sucks :dry:
Argh agreed when I come across a girl I think is cute I always seem to compare myself It's like lemme look at you but please don't look at me. And I'm the same way too, with guys it's not so much...unless he's like adorable and I feel like I don't even have the right to check him out. -.- Guess it goes along with the whole self esteem thing. I'm noturious for hating to have my picture taken and once this dude was jokingly trying to take a picture of me on his camera phone so I took it and tossed his phone down the hall. ._. (I asked nicely to stop but he didn't!) Needless to say, I, and I think a lot of people care too much of how others (especially those we like) perseieve us. So next time, instead of looking away when that cute girl sees us, let's just look back and give a big smile Cuz we all look tons better with one of those on
Ooooh yes. I love my body and have healthy self esteem ,but when I see a really toned guy i am like woooow. My stomach doesnt look like that ><. lol. Try to think some positive thoughts about yourself when you see a "hot girl" and catch yourself before you think negative thoughts and shoo them away with the positive ones. lol I think I made sense xD.
I'm completely with you. Mixing "kissyface"(amazing word choice, btw) feelings with the competition that seems pretty inherent within same genders gets pretty confusing and frustrating. I agree with everyone who's given advice. Focusing on preemptive positive thoughts and letting ourselves be the confident, self-assured people that we can be is the best thing any of us can do. Plus, what's more attractive than confidence?
