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More than Friends?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jack2009, Aug 29, 2009.

  1. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    How do you make a friend become more than a friend? Not sex but dating and movies.

    She's a girl but I want to date her anyways, but I think we're too much friends to go farther.
     
  2. cicciux

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    You want to date her in the traditional sense? Movies, making out, etc? Are you ready to go into a relationship with her? I mean full on, sex, making out, cuddling, etc. Otherwise, I'd suggest you stay friends... you can still go to the movies and have dinner and go out dancing, but there won't be any pressure and she can date someone else who can give her the 'other' stuff. Would you just be using her as a shield? if so, then at least let her know.

    Anyway, I recommend 'it's a question of love' and 'Get Real' (both coming out/coming of age movies).
     
  3. littledinosaurs

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    "Hey, would you wanna go on a date sometime? We could (insert activity here), sound good?"
     
  4. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    Well that's not the problem.

    It's more of being "just friends" since I don't think she could handle making a friendship more deeper. She appears very innocent sexually, and I am probably at the same spot where she is in terms of dating (nothing).

    I don't think she ever had a first kiss or even a first date, and she probably won't experience that until after high school (we're both juniors). She's just the type of girl guys wouldn't date based on her physical appearance, but I don't care about the way she looks but for who she really is.

    So she's probably only looking for a movie romance love, which is what I am looking for too.
     
  5. Meropspusillus

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    Your profile shows you as a gay male, so I'm slightly confused as to why you're interested in dating her.
     
  6. Jack2009

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    I like her as a person. I might as well enjoy life while I am young, since I cannot come out at my school/home currently. I have my brother in high school as well, and I don't want him to suffer because of me. Plus, there's no gay guys except a couple of flamers. I just want an average guy, not a stereotype.

    It's hard to explain, since I see I can love her without needing a physical male form of her, just her mind and soul. But I am gay, not bi, or else I will feel physically attracted to women. But love is beyond physical form for me.
     
    #6 Jack2009, Aug 30, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2009
  7. RaRa

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    And what if she wants to make out/have sex? How do you plan on getting around that?

    I love my girl friends too, but I would never touch them.
     
  8. Jack2009

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    Make out sure, that's why I want to ask her out in the first place. But I am 100% sure she does not want sex, and I will tell her I am waiting for marriage if that happen. But she's not a slut, or even normal girl, she's practically a nun.

    Her gender isn't the issue though, I just don't know if I can go through "just friends" phase with her. But I am going to ask her out anyways, and if she saids no, then I guess there goes a friendship for a while until it normalizes.
     
    #8 Jack2009, Aug 30, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2009
  9. Tokarov

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    You CANNOT MAKE a friend become more than a friend.

    You can ask them out and see what they say, but you cannot force them to do anything with you.
     
  10. Jack2009

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    Yes you can, get a contract for 6-weeks, pay them 500$ a week. If they want to stay on the contract they will do a year contract for 1000$ a week.

    I doubt people will say no to that

    ----
    I'ma kiddin'
    ---

    She's probably going to say yes, since she had a crush on me for a while before we became only friends. Like she would sit only by me if we had a class together for 2 years. I make her laugh, and that's rare, and I heard that laughter is the best chemical for romance. She's single too.
     
    #10 Jack2009, Aug 30, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2009
  11. cicciux

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    I am going to be blunt, so I apologize in advance.

    What you are saying is irresponsible, immature, manipulative and plain mean. You are going to toy with this girl and probably traumatize her and your motives are not clear, but I fear you are hiding from yourself and from the world.

    If you plan to seek any relationship beyond friendship with her, at least you owe it to her to tell her the whole truth, not just what's convenient for you at the moment.

    I am sorry for this outburst, but I cannot but speak my mind.
     
  12. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    Thanks for your advice