lately i have a weird weird mix of emotions, and just wondered if anyone knew how to make the bad ones go away and the good ones stay? well, i went out a couple of nights ago. i went to a gay club in the city centre, this being my 1st time in a gay club like properly. i had been to couple before, but only for like one drink. anyways, so i saw this really cute guy, and went over to say hi. and we talked for agesssss, and then, still sat next to each other on the sofa in the club, we held hands, and i tried to start chatting again, but he seemed quiet, so i looked at him to see what was wrong if anything, and then we leant in and kissed, which was quite amazing. so after dancing together and kissing several times, i had to leave to catch the last bus (at 3am) and he gave me his number. i phoned him up earlier to see if he would like to meet up at some point, and he said yeah, and we are meeting up next week (we were both busy this week). i gave him my mobile number and he said he would phone me later this week to arrange it. i havent told my parents about this guy, or that i went to a gay venue. simply becuase i think they would be dissapointed in me and say something like "you have university in 3 weeks time, just forget this guy, there will be more people there". which although sounds sensible, i really like this guy. and from what he has said and they way he acted, he really likes me too. i should point out that i havent had a relationship since december. also that im not gonna let anything get in the way of this, be that uni, money, family, friends, im passed the point of giving a shit, just because i really think we will have something strong here. but with my emotions they are all over the place. i usually dont like to simplify stuff by doing lists or putting things into categories, but for the purpose of this post here is a list of my emotions/feelings type stuff: -im HAPPY that i met this guy -im PROUD that i had the guts to say hi -im AFRAID that i will dissapoint my parents -im NERVOUS and EXCITED about meeting up again -im SCARED that something stupid will get in the way or that i will fuck this up (like i managed to with a couple of guys in the past few months) -im UNHAPPY that i have to wait to see him, the past couple of days ive been a little low just cos they didnt live up to that night -all of this has lead to STRESS, and well as i said mixed emotions -i really wanna RELAX and just go with the flow a bit more, but the more i try the harder it gets anyone got anything to respond with? thanks
phew.... My first impulse is to tell you to take it slow with this guy. New people are always exciting, but having gone out with him only once, there's really not much you know about him. Hell, I've pretended to be a foreigner for three days with a guy (it was fun)... I'm a somewhat skilled liar, and I'm not saying this guy is playing you... I'm simply trying to put thing in perspective for you. College is important now-a-days, but the heart is even more important. On one hand, I'm inclined to tell you to stick to College because it's really important, on the other hand I left my career for two years, moved to a different country and started again the same career.... so... you know... On the other hand, my mother's husband is German, my mother is Argentinian, they met in Germany (mother was there on a scholarship), fell in love and as my mother needed to come back to Argentina (my brother and I were little still and she didn't really have a working visa) they moved to Argentina. He gave up his job, his car, his flat, his family (didn't have a large family, but he did have some) and moved to a God forsaken country in the a-hole of the world for love... and it worked out pretty well for them. So... in reality whatever you choose is going to be the correct choice. As to how to deal with these feelings... just feel them... don't repress them, and in time they will settle. hth Alan.-
Note that your negative emotions are related to things that you are worried 'might' happen or things that are going to happen in the future, or things that arne't happening that you wish were... So stay in the present. Take things one day at a time. It's all about setting expectations for yourself. Your serenity (peace of mind) is inversely proportional to your expectations. In other words, "just screw it all and roll with it." :icon_wink
Good job on taking the initiative to say 'hi' to someone. I hope it works out for you. Like Jim said go with the moment. Don't worry about telling your parents right away. Go out with this guy, see what happens. If it gets more serious then you can worry about telling your parents. I did not say anything about my bf until we dated a bit.
Having a look to your list, I noticed that your bad feelings are about what could happened, not about what's happening, whereas you good feelings are about what's really happening. I suggest you to focus on what is happening for the time being. You just met that guy, you are attracted to him, he seems to respond very well, you shared a nice moment and have planned to see each other as soon as possible. Just enjoy the moment and try not to think about what might happened if your parents find out or that university starts soon. For the time being, you don't know where that relationship you are starting is leading you. Maybe it will last a few weeks, maybe it will be more serious than this. If the second case happens, it'll be time to worry about your parents or university, but right now, the best thing to do is not to let your imagination rush into wonders and just enjoy the moment. Take care, Eleanor
thanks guys i think my mind has cleared a little over a couple of days. although im still wanting to meet this guy again, im just gonna see what happens really. just looking on to uni now, and planning for it. i find if my mind is occupied or i have a task to do, then i find it easier to relax and not start thinking about things too much. i think its just cos it gives me direction. makes sense?
