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Just been outed

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tasha, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. Tasha

    Tasha Guest

    I live in a Varsity Hostell in a very conservative christian town and unfortunately 3 months before moving away and finishing my course and moving to a better environment a late night with friends who know that I'm gay resulted in me being outed to my hostel.

    People that I know will not approve, that I've always had a good relationship with now know and they wont keep it quiet.

    What do I do?
     
  2. napoleonri85

    napoleonri85 Guest

    Well at least you'll be out of this situation in three months. I would just keep your head high and stick close to those that still support you. Plus, the news of your sexuality just came out. I'm sure once it settles, it won't be such an issue.
     
  3. Greggers

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    Id say give them a chance. People will really surprise you! Trust me on this one...

    I was horrible to many people i know, thinking they would never EVER accept me, but guess what: They did. It really is less likely in most situations that someone who cares about you will reject you based on something like this, even if they dont approve. Its one thing for a person to make homophobic jokes or talk badly about gay people, but its a whole different thing to do that to a gay persons face. Once they realize your gay and that your still the same person you were before minds can easily be changed on the subject.

    Its always easier for your friends to adapt to new situations with you then to blow you off and have to find new friends.
     
  4. Tasha

    Tasha Guest

    It's probably only an hour later but I've just realised that this could possibly be the best thing that's ever happened. For the first time instead of caring what other think I thought about who do I care about knowing and realised that those are the people I need to tell now. If they're not ok with it then they're not people I should care about knowing. It's provided perspective that I've been focusing on the wrong thing and I'm actually really glad that I won't have to worry about a secret that should never have been a secret in the first place!
     
  5. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC! :wave:

    What should you do? Own it. Don't be confrontational about it, but be assertive. If they say "Are you gay?" say yes. If they have questions - even stupid, ignorant ones - answer them as factually as you can. Chances are that even if they're not approving, they won't do more than simply not talk to you much anymore.

    ...well, never mind. :grin:

    Lex
     
  6. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there and welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    I agree with the above. Yes, it might be awkward at first and some will resort to stupid and perhaps even homophobic remarks, but as they learn and see that you are still the same person these comments might subside after a short while. Often, most people do come around, even if it takes a while for them to take that step as it were. As Lex said, if they have questions or ask you about your sexual orientation just answer them as best as you can and leave it at that. Your friends will stick by you and will try to understand you and try to learn from you.