I guess i'm still really coming to terms with being gay myself, even though I have known for 20 years, but now i'm actually in the process of coming out, these thoughts are confusing me. I saw a doco last night about men in general, and they had a bit about a gay couple, and it was two pretty old guys, one a 50+ musclehead and a slightly younger musclehead. They were the only couple in the hour long documentary that they showed being intimate, and I couldn't help but think "eww" This is really annoying me how I can feel this way. I got a little upset about a thread here recently when an 18 year old was talking about having annonymous casual sex with a 35 year old and there were screams of "creeper". I didn't understand why it seemed to be general consensus. I mean, it doesn't seem to bother me at all when I see old or (what i percieve as) ugly hetero couples kissing, so why do I get this feeling when I see gay guys that I don't find attractive kissing? I can't help but feel a total hypocrite when I feel this way. They were also having an open relationship with a younger guy that I thought was pretty hot, but I still got the funny feeling when I saw him kissing the 50 year old muscly dude. I am totally fine with the fact that different people are attracted to different shapes or whatever, and I am sure a lot of people don't find me attractive, but I feel terrible for having this "eww" feeling when I saw it. Why do I feel that way about certain gay couples, when I find others cute, and it doesn'tseem to bother me at all about any straight couples? This is a very confusing feeling for me. And it re-enforces in me why straight people do the same thing when they see gay guys. I just hope that the more comfortable i get with myself, then this feeling will go away. I cant stand feeling like such a fucking hypocrite.
blame it on society and what its ingrained into your mind. thats happended to me a couple of times. but not anymore. i think its just because your not used to seeing it. as for straight couples, where its everywhere so its commonplace
I guess it may be from not seeing enough guys snuggling. But I still feel fucking horrible that it actually gives me an icky feeling when i'm a gay guy. It just feels wrong for me to feel that way when I see other gay people.
Hi there! I think with time you will get past these kinds of feelings. Don't feel too terrible about it. (*hug*) As you have mentioned, although you have accepted your sexual orientation and have started the coming out process that there is still a part of you that is not all too comfortable with it (subconsciously). When you see older guys kissing it comes up to the surface. Internal homophobia can show itself in many different ways, and that could be one of them. But as you become more comfortable with your sexual orientation and get to know more LGBT community members (younger and older) these feelings will disappear.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Really, how many hetrosexual couples in their 50s have you watched making out. We're conditioned to equate young with beautiful.
Yep, I guess it must be internal homophobia I suppose. It just doesn't make sense to me why I should feel this way. Oh dear, i'm a homophobic homo! :help: I guess after so long trying to ignore it, I have managed to have some deep seated feelings that are going to take a bit to get rid of. Sigh, as if its not hard enough already. Thanks guys.
If I was a girl, and i saw a fellow 18yo girl kissing a 50yo, it would probably be the same. But for some reason, this is really troubling me.
Try not to get too worked up over it! Otherwise it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: when you're in the presence of an older couple, you'll already be freaking out about what you will feel when they ever show public signs of affection. I can't say I'm too comfortable with older people (straight or gay, for that matter) kissing or holding hands. But over time I stopped actively grossing out over it. So it is a feeling you can just grow out of. As always, more exposure ended up in eroding the feeling away.
