I'm just confused. One second I'm rejecting trying to label myself, the next I'm desperate for answers. So, I'll just run with the current need. I'm going to be fifteen in a matter of weeks, but I've matured quite quickly in my states of mind. From the time I was about seven it was the "OMG. BOYZ. <33333" thing. Looking back I have no idea where the flip any of that came from. I've kissed a couple of boys, and dated one for two years, but it was more of a brother-sister thing than anything. I look at guys now, and can't help but wonder what other girls see in them. Oh sure, I can see what they see...The hair, the eyes, those gorgeous muscles. However, I am unaffected by any of these. :dry: When I look at men, I am not only repulsed by the thought of having sexual relations with any of them at any point in time, but I just detest the way they think about things, how they act...Sure some of them aren't half bad, friendship worthy? Sure. Datable? Heck no. I'd much rather pursue a relationship with a woman. I just think it would work out much better in the end, and the only thing I've found about females that's a turn off is the catty personality some of them have. Needless to say, not all of them are like that. (At least not the girls I hang around with.) I've already kind of halfway come out to my parents (and I'm sure my Mother has told my Step-Dad something about it.). My biological Dad just said that whatever made me happy was good with him, but my Mom thinks it's a phase and doesn't particularly like talking about it. I apologize, the last paragraph wasn't really relevant to the topic, but I'm just looking for some answers so I can say for certain that I am what I am. Because Right now, I really don't know. :icon_ques
Do you hate guys in all? I love women (Megan Fox does not repulsed me) but I'm not attracted to them. But this sounds like a man hater rant.
Wait....your 14....and you dated someone for two years.... Were either of your body's even developed enough to tell who was the boy and who was the girl? I dont get the whole "Dating pre-puberty" thing. It seems like more of a game like dressup or house than anything else. Eh, what do i know i guess? Anyways, its quite understandable that your mother thinks this is a phase. NOT that it is a phase, i knew in 6th grade i was gay for sure, but its only in recent years that young teens have really start to come out in large numbers. It used to be people came out in or after college ("experementing in college" ect.) so alot of people assume its just a phase if your really young. If you want to convince your mother its not a phase, id first convince yourself, then go about it by giving her time, space, and a few gentle pushes in the right direction. It seems as if your quite sure your a lesbian though. If you cant see yourself with a man sexually its either you have not matured and still think sex in general is "eeeeew" or you are in fact a lesbian. Do you see yourself sexually with a woman? Thats the real question to ask. I would definitely try and educate yourself in these things because schools and parents dont generally teach us how to tell if we are gay, they just tell us to assume we are straight. I cant think of any good websites with info, but there are alot of "coming of age" movies you can watch that explore to topic of embracing your sexuality and coming out. On that note, the only one i can think of for females is "But im a cheerleader". If it helps, things are going to become more clear in time. Dont worry too much now and just try and enjoy your highschool years If you do find a word to define or describe yourself, its not going to change a thing about you. All it will do is give you some peace of mind, but you will still be the same person you were before. So dont rush to define yourself, cause you are you and thats not going to change anytime soon
Yeah, sorry if it sounds like a man-hater rant. :/ In general the men I've been around haven't exactly been the greatest people in the mental aspect so I apologize if that's what it came out as.