Ugh... I really don't even know where to start! :help::help: So my Aunt told my Big MOUTH cousin that I was gay. I really don't know how it came about or if it was just bluntly asked. My cousin works at a local cvs store where they live. I have NON Biological Grandmother and Grandfather that I love dearly and they do anything for me such as send money when I need miscellaneous things (oh and bought a brand new car for me)! (The story behind the non biological gparents is that my mom dated their son for 11 years and even though they broke up 3 years ago they have always basically claimed me.) On with the story, my aunts kids were there (I am not sure if they even know now, if they do they have pretty HUGE mouths also and will tell my step grandpa who would literally kill me as he wants me to go into the Air Force) but the non biological grandparents would totally disown me as they are very religious and speak of gays in a negative way. I could NEVER tell them as it would crush them tremendously. So now that my Cousin who works at CVS mind you shes like in her 30's is a huge gossiper and my non biological grandparents shop at the store she works at and I hope she doesn't tell them. I've never associated with the family that my Big Mouth cousin relates too because I don't like them! I don't know why my moms sister (aunt) even told her as big mouth is a two faced bitch and hates my aunt. I don't know what to do :tears: A big thank you to anyone who reads all this rant and gibberish and anyone who can give any advice is greatly appreciated.
The only advice I can give is to be strong. What's past is past now. Your cousin knows and the damage may already be done. If you haven't done so already, you could try talking to that cousin to see if there's any damage control you can do. Simply tell your cousin that your sexuality is something private to you, much like most people's sex lives are to them, and that you'd prefer that it not be abused or ruined. Otherwise, you'll just have to see how things pan out really. The ball will be in your grandparents' court if they find out, and any fallout from it will be totally their own doing, either good or bad. All you can really do there is have faith that they know you as a person and as an almost-grandson that they have come to love and respect regardless of who you are sexually. If they love you as much as you say, they'll find a way around this somehow.
Well if your grandparents *really* love you, thats going to outweigh any negative feelings they have towards homosexuality. I know its hard to believe that when you have heard someone speak such horrible things about gays, but it really is true. None of my family disowned me and they used to talk about "going up to the university with a loaded shot gun and killing every single faggot" at Christmas Dinner. It definitely was not EASY for them, but with some time they understood my pain and accepted me. I think you will find the same. Love is a powerful force, if not the most powerful. Put some faith in it, because if your cousin is as big of a gossip as you say soon they will find out. I would definitely brace yourself. Stand strong! I believe you will come out of this a better person.
I completely agree with this. My family (mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin) that I live with are VERY religious, as I am also religious. However, they do not beleive being gay is right. My dad dogs them down, makes fun of them, etc. However, I've noticed that my mother has been accepting the gay people. She told me here recently to go live with my gay cousin when I move out in January. It shocked me.. Jarrod, just hang in there. I'm almost SURE they will find out, but maybe it's going to be good. Sure they are very religious, but attitudes change greatly when it's your own. (biological or not).
I agree with the above. It doesn’t need to be a total disaster! A lot of people have nothing but contempt and distaste for gay people as long as they never met any. And then a family member turns out to be gay, and they suddenly realise that that nice grandson they always had over was gay all that time they knew him. And they start realising gays aren't some strange monsters lurking all the way over there, but normal people too! So your grandparents might come around. They might try to convince you to turn straight again, and say some awkward things, but if they really love you, they won’t turn their backs on you. Other options that might be feasible are: Asking your cousin to keep quiet, as this is something you’d rather not have thrown about at all kinds of strangers she meets. It seems you don’t really get along, though, so she might not keep quiet just because you ask her. Yet, sometimes people can surprise you! Doing a pre-emptive strike and coming out to your grandparents. That seems unthinkable, probably, but it gives you the advantage. You’d be able to tell them before they’re told as if it were some dirty secret that they weren’t supposed to know. Again, it will be awkward, but IMO it’s preferable to them being told in the middle of a store by the local gossip queen. Try not to panic! Things are more likely to work out OK than not! (*hug*)
Good thoughts and suggestions from all. I think the overriding thing to realize is that their hatred of gays is, more than anything, fueled by ignorance. They are probably not aware that they know any gay people, and so, while there will be some shock and probably the stages of grief. But... sounds like they really love you and I seriously doubt that will change
