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Ever felt totally alone?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Metalbiguy, Sep 7, 2009.

  1. Metalbiguy

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    I live in Central, New Jeresy, by the shore
    I don;t live in a small town, or anything, but there are only like 2 gay people in my school myself included, and like i have friends, and stuff, but i still feel totally isolated, like no one will ever truly know what i have went through/ am goign through.

    the other gay guy and i 'went out' last year, but it was all through text message and just dumb, but he is one of those people you can't have a conversation with.

    and even my family who knows i'm at least Bi, don't even talk about it, like i find myself talkign about marriage to a woman, just so i can look normal i guess, they arent bad people by any means, but its like the night i came out, every thing they heard got swept under the rug.

    I guess my mind is looking for something relate-able other than watching porn or trying to scout gay people in the mall or something. Like tonight i went out to dinner wiht my family, and i saw 2 guys sitting next to each other and one guy was rubbing the others guy's back,

    And i just got extremely...sad, like i want that and i can't at the time, and it just sucks.

    my question to people in a situation like mine:

    What do you do to cope with the loneliness?

    thanks ahead for reading and commenting back.
     
  2. ColdNight

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    Me personally? I never leave the computer. I don't have a social life, so I come here, here at least I'm known my some.
     
  3. jayhad90

    jayhad90 Guest

    I know how you feel. I am not out at all but i wish i could be and when my mom talks about why am i not with a girl and everything i just tell her i dont need that right now or some other excuse but the truth is i want some one to be in a long term relationship with and cuddle at night but i just cant do that ever because i probably will never come out so sometimes i get soo lonely because i want someone so bad it really hurts sometimes. If you ever just want someone to talk to i would enjoy it! I like to be someone shoulder to cry on or just someone there to listen :slight_smile:
     
  4. justinishere

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    I know exactly how you feel. It's really hard seeing others so happy and that you seem like you are sacrificing something. My parents don't know at all about me being gay and it seems like I can't go to them for help or advice, or go out to find some other gay people/gay pride events.

    There is a good "gay teen chatroom" website that I use to at least find others around me to not look for something sexual but at least for some good friends I can talk to to at least make me feel normal again. I don't know if I can post it here though but if you want it, I'll be more than happy to send it to you :slight_smile:
     
  5. tylerzane69

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    i used to be surrounded by people and felt totally alone, i put up a front for everyone to see and to be the guy everyone wanted to be around, and it got me no where. now i have a very small group of close friends who i can talk to about whatever i want and we all just laugh together, the bad part is i just moved 3 hours away for school and to be closer to my now ex-boyfriend, so im back to feeling totally alone in a new town and new school....
     
  6. mattypants

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    yeah, i used to just bury myself with videogames to keep myself from feeling the loneliness... but i got sick of it and decided to take steps to get me out of it, and of course, ec was one of those steps :slight_smile: i can relate to the people here
     
  7. ColdNight

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    I agree. EC, forever and always, will be the place I can be most open about.

    And Matty, I am seriously taking a few minutes to watch your avatar every time I see it, because it's just that awesome.
     
  8. vicII

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    I felt the same exact way all throughout high school. But senior yr, I got my first bf, I came out, and everything was going great. My depression and loneliness was cured. Until I got DUMPED. haha. Then I was back at square 1. Depressed. Lonely... etc. Once I got to college, I made friends who got to know the REAL me, and everything is pretty damn good now. I don't think anyone's life will ever be perfect... Like... my mom knows I'm gay, but she totally ignores it. ( I honestly think she blocked it from her memory. lol). But I'm happy. I have a new bf, and he's great. I'm kinda just rambling but... what I'm trying to say is... things get better. :kiss: (for metalbiguy)
     
  9. Greggers

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    Seeing as i dont know a single gay, lesbian, bisexual or even bicurious person...

    Yea, i feel lonely. 24/7. I can be in a room with 100 other people all of whom i know and like, and yet id still feel lonely. Such deep loneliness i feel like im stuck in a dark hole with no escape possible, ever.

    How do i cope? Well EC helps, my Lover helps (AKA Amy <3), and going on the computer helps, but only to a certain degree.

    Most of the time i feel lonely i do nothing and just truck on with my life, thickening my skin and learning to live alone.
     
  10. Lexington

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    Soon after I came out, I took a job in Farmington, New Mexico. For those unfamiliar with the area, it's a modest-sized town with about 40,000 people. The nearest town larger than Farmington is three hours away by car. The biggest thing to happen there my first year there was the grand opening of the city's Target store. It's a pleasant but slow, conservative, sleepy-type town.

    In short, I was the only homosexual there.

    Luckily, I had some very cool co-workers. I came out to them the second day there, and they were all cool with it. So at least I didn't have to hide that aspect of my life. But still, I sure as hell wasn't dating.

    So what'd I do? Everything else.

    I read. A LOT. Money was extremely tight during my 18-month sojourn there, so the library became my best friend. I read fiction and non-fiction, everything I could get my hands on. I worked on my writing, honing my skills at that. I stayed social, hanging out with my (straight) friends and co-workers, and writing/e-mailing my far-off friends. I kept working on making myself a better person, and liking myself more and more. So that when I did finally move to a city with a gay population, I could present a pleasant, happy gargoyle to them.

    Oh, and I jerked off a hell of a lot. Pre-internet porn days. That honed my imagination. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  11. Kizz

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    you know two gay people?
    I don't even know that many X.X
    still, I get that ALL the time. I just have to cope with it :icon_sad:
     
  12. Maddy

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    It's still possible to feel alienated even if there is a decent gay community around you. I grew up in Melbourne which has a decent gay youth scene, but I've never really felt a part of it because it seems like every out gay kid in the place is popular, alternative, and either taken or happily single with a crowd of people to choose from, when I've never been any of the above. But looking below the surface, there are a few people around who I've become really close to, and I'm sure you'll find people like that too. When I do feel lonely, I tend to hit the Internet - EC's really helpful to help me just know there are people like me out there.
     
  13. Jack2009

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    not here particularly all the time, since the thread speed is quite slow for my taste (but fast enough where I can come back and see results in a few hours)

    but I go on all my forums (main 4 at least and EC is one of them)

    and I spend a lot of time on forums, and then I spend time on my sub forums (ones I just visit every once a week to two weeks).
     
  14. Just Adam

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    oh im lonley

    i know i got nobody to talk to in the real world
     
  15. DexterMorgan

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    Yep, I feel the same way...
     
  16. carrie90

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    There's was no other gay people from my area of Montana (I'm in San Fransisco for college) but I didn't really feel alone because I had my friend's,family and a bisexual girl who became my girlfriend so I guess I was one of the lucky one's I understand where your coming from though and I sorta feel alone now because i'm in college with none of my friend's away from my family so I don't really have anyone at the moment
     
  17. NickT

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    I feel the same way. I live in a town with an okay gay community, but my high school is pretty homophobic. I've also wandered the mall looking for someone, but usually chicken out before actually walking up to someone. Usually the cute ones are in groups or look like they'd kill me if I asked if he was gay.

    Basically, what I do to cope with the loneliness is brush it aside and do something fun, like play a game. Bioshock and World of Warcraft tends to help break the loneliness for me.
     
  18. werekid

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    i feel alone at my parent house
     
  19. Bradley James

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    I feel alone all the time, even sometimes when I am in a relationship. I think its because I prefer my solitude- I'm not good at socializing- and keep people at a distance.
     
  20. tokwa

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    I feel it all the time. :|