As you all know here...I'm a bit "off". I am viewed usually as rather eccentric, especially because of my repetitive actions like blinking my eyes a lot, having small tics, and other weird things. I've been finding it to be hard to make friends here at my university - I mean, I'm trying very hard. My most social class seems to be Positive Psychology, where all of the students basically talk about...well...positive psychology. Anyway, I befriended someone at orientation and he seemed really nice. I asked him if he was doing anything one day and he asked if I wanted to go to dinner. I went with him and 2 of his friends. Right off the bat, I could tell I would stick out to them, since they were very touchy-feely and very theatrical (I'm the complete opposite; I'm like a stone wall that talks). We ate dinner and went back to his dorm and I felt really weird because they were talking about music that I don't listen to, and didn't know, so I wasn't able to hold onto the conversations they were having. I also think that the fact that I was soo stressed is the reason I started thinking the FBI was watching me through the window of another dorm (stress triggers delusions). I actually had to ask my friend to close his blinds (he knows the issues I have) and I started having tardive dyskinesia-like symptoms (face twitching). Later on, we played frisbee and I didn't know anyone there, and I was too shy to introduce myself to anyone. Idk, I haven't spoken to this friend since - I've been extremely busy and I'm guessing he has been as well. I just am concerned that I won't meet people; that I won't have a social life in college. My illness causes social isolation, although the medicine is supposed to help patch up negative symptoms of the psychosis I deal with (it only takes away the flat affect). I just wish I could be more social without stressing out .
I think you're doing a great job. Keep doing what you're doing. And don't over think it - the more you do that the more awkward and stressed you're going to be. Good luck at college. Sounds like it's going well so far.
It is difficult when you start college, some people make instant bonds and you feel left out. But it sounds like you are making an effort and that's all you can do, it may take time before you make friends, it took me until 3rd year until I made friends that stuck Even if it is hard for you, just keep at it, don't worry too much about it, sometimes friendships seem to sneak up on you.
I know what you mean! I'm having a hard time making friends as well. I think it's like that for everyone that's starting college, espicially when all of their close friends went to different schools. BUT, you seem to be making an effort, as am I. I joined the Debate Team, so hopefully, I'll make some friends there.
Sweetheart, you know what your problem is? You use your medical disorder as an excuse to progress. Really, I guarantee you if you op trying "really hard" as you put it, you will unconsciously start making allot of friends. My advice, do what u came to college to do mate, get an education. People somehow always believe that people with those conditions are unable to be sociable and achieve academically which is BS! Do what you have to and you dont have to introduce yourself to everyone; but you can start by your batchmates and dormmates by just simply saying "hello", "good morning", "good evening" whenever you see them. Trust me, u will be surprised to know how far polite greetings can take you, even if they sometimes don't answer back. Good luck!
I always nod and say hi to people. And no, I don't use my mental illness as an excuse - it is just part of the illness itself to cause social isolation.
Wait, didn't you just get there like a cup of coffee ago? Seriously, you'll meet all kinds of people as you go. I made a couple of friends during the two-day summer orientation that the Honors Program at my university had (I was in the Honors Program). After a few weeks, I made a couple of friends on the floor I lived on. For Halloween, I decided to help turn the lobby of my building into a haunted house. I didn't know anyone, so I just joined up with a random person that looked like he needed some help. We struck up conversation, and he wound up introducing me to his gaming group, consisting of people with whom I am friends to this very day (nine years later). What I'm saying is Don't Sweat It. Just be active and you'll meet people. But if you hand out in your room all the time, you won't meet anyone.
Give it time. Believe me you are not the only one worried about meeting people. We all have odd things about ourselves.
I have a dreadful time making friends. Interacting with others is a very stressful experience for me. If there are just 1 or 2 people I can do ok after an initial period of awkwardness. If I am in a public place with lots of people forget it. In college I made most of my friends, by getting to class early. Usually 1 or 2 others would show up 5 to 10 minutes early. Then I would just make small talk about the class then after a while I would be comfortable around them. One thing I have found is that being under stress exacerbates this problem. So during periods of high stress I spend a lot of time just hulled up at home, because going out is just a futile exercise. It will take time, but you'll figure out what works for you.
I agree. I haven't been that long here in EC but i read your posts Swamp56. The fact that you went through dinner and conversation is very good, don't you think? I'm also a bit of a loner, and have few friends. At the beginning of University I also only knew one person in the entire school. In the end you'll have to talk to people, i can say that being nice helps, smile to people, project a positive image. A few months ago i took a international course with people from all over the world, and in the end i was friends with people from Taiwan, China, Japan, Poland, Iran etc.. I've learned that there is always something connecting people no matter what language they speak or where they come from. Good luck!
