The United States Air Force

...wow. You are so brave. First, for being Completely out, and then considering jumping back into the closet with a locked door?

I couldn't imagine jumping back into the closet and living a lie with a man now that I'm out... I would probably be sick all the time from lying to myself and my heart/body.

Personally, I hope Obama overtturns the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in the US. Why wouldn't they want perfectly able people to simply love their partner as long as they do their job perfectly well?

I hope it goes through if you do decide to join.. I'm not an American so I can't really advise you otherwise though. *hug*

 

You shouldn't have to. But for the time being you do.

Life, you'll find, is all about making tough choices. Sometimes picking the lesser of two evils. Short term pain for long term gain. All that kind of stuff.

If this is a means to an end, and you're not interested in a career in the military, I would search for other ways to get your degree if I were you. Four years in the Air Force, when that's not really your thing, is a VERY long time.

If it's and affordability issue, there might be other ways to obtain a degree.

Good luck either way.

 

It is a difficult choice, one that we should not have to make. I know quite a few gay military officers and enlisted men and women who enjoy their careers and have found ways to balance their personal relationships with don't ask don't tell. I also met someone who was discharged for being gay. It really does happen. Nonetheless, you would be amazed at how many gays there are in the military. I am hopeful that don't ask don't tell will go away in the next few years, but there are no guarantees.

 

Well if its any comfort, people like you are the reason DADT will be ended in the next four years or so. Its definitely not at all a priority for anyone in the white house or pentagon right now from all the stuff i read about it, but alot of the congressman are really pushing for it to be ended. Thats because of stories. Stories like yours. DADT is easy to just ignore because it does not affect the majority of people, but if the majority of people hear the stories of the minority that is hurting from this - THAT is when things get done.

But enough about that, like Jim pointed out it looks like you just want to use the air force to achieve your final goal. I know a few people doing that with the canadian military. But its not the only option. A select few people from my highschool class got "free rides" through university because of the hours and hours they spent getting top grades and then hours and hours they spent filling in applications and writing essays for scholarships. If you really want to get this degree, and dont want to closet yourself to get they "free ride", then you might think about doing the same. Its alot of work, but if you fill in EVERY application for every scholarship you even remotely apply to, you can get alot of school money. If your still short, get student loans. If thats not enough, work hard your first year and get schoolarships from your university. If people see your going places in life, they will literally throw money at you to get you there.

Good luck with whatever you do, but honestly if i was in your place i would never enter the army under a DADT policy. It would go against every single thing i stand for, and i would never be able to handle the lies.

 

Well it sounds like you might be able to call the shots or get a bit of leniency when it comes to your orientation. It might turn out OK. I'm not 'out' at work either, and I have no trouble managing.

 

I don't think you should join until Don't Ask Don't Tell is repealed.

I'm currently and MD student. The cost of my education is astronomical, and clearly I looked up some scholarship opportunities, the best of which is to apply for the Military Health Professions Scholarship Program - officer pay when you're on active duty, a monthly stipend, payed for tuition, etc. Only caveat is you serve for every year you are on the scholarship. Not too bad though considering you graduate with no debt, and can leave the military after 4 or 5 years if you choose.

The downside of doing this as a gay man? If you take a scholarship from the military and then are discharged for homosexuality, you may owe the military back every dime you spent of "their" money. I don't know about you, but I don't have the money to ever be able to do that.

The military is a fantastic way to serve your country and experience genuine camaraderie. However, that can come at serious cost if you choose to be a closeted gay in the military. Closeted gay men have a higher incidence of depression and unhealthy lifestyle behaviors (ie. seeking out prostitutes/strangers as a means of engaging in homosexual activities in their closeted life). Lastly, since you have already come out, you run the risk of discharge if anyone that knows you are out slipped it to anyone in the military. It takes very little to be discharged after an investigation into a homosexual personnel takes place.

 

Oh. and PS -

I'm a few years older than you, but when I was just starting to look at colleges and think about my future - I totally had lofty ambitions like you. I still do. However, I've tempered them.

Getting a Masters, PhD and MD for example? You're talking about 4 years of undergrad, 4 years of med school, 5-7 years of PhD, two years of your Masters -- that's quite a bit of learning and not a whole lot of -doing.- That's what I realized. I gave up my ambitions to get a million degrees. Get one really good degree and you can do a lot with it.

...One more thing. The military will always want a bright kid like you. So this isn't do or die. You can still do everything you want, and even join the military. Give it time, see if Don't Ask don't tell gets repealed in this administration (which I think it will), and then join. The USAF will still want you, as will the Army, Navy, Marines and Coast Guard if you told them you were interested.

 

This is probably the biggest reason I feel DADT should be overturned ASAP. Lots of intelligent and brave people are willing to join the armed forces, but can not because they are gay. I find it to be an utter crock of sh*t to be quite honest. How the hell are we supposed to be decent Americans and serve our country when we are not allowed?

It is a difficult choice to make, but I say why should you have to make it at all? I mean yes, you would in a sense be denying who you are, but once you make it high enough up and prove the things you can do it won't matter if you're gay or not. If your dreams and goals mean that much to you then I say go for them, no matter what the cost. If you don't think you are able to suppress your true identity (I can't say I'd blame you, hiding who you are is never fun or easy) then maybe you could find another way of going about achieving them?

I don't really think that you'd even have to hide being gay, you just can't openly talk about anything that would insinuate to people that you are. I've heard stories about gay people joining that had no problem whatsoever, so perhaps it would be the same for you.


And the DADT policy works both ways you know, people have no right to be poking around into who you like and who you don't like.

 

I just want to take this entire thread and shove it in a republican's face, show them all the hard working, intelligent and frankly brilliant people they are losing.

 

so lucky the idf accepts homosexuals xD

 

it is a hard choice and an unfair one, unfortunatly I can't tell you what the right thing to do is.

The airforce would help you kick start your career, but you'd have to put your love life on the back burner.

Vice verse: You might not find that guy you want to be with and spend years looking for him.

life is a gamble. Good luck out there.

 

I couldn't do 8 years. After 6, I resigned my commission.

If you are dishonourably discharged from the USAF that will be a black mark on your career record and could potentially cause problems pursuing you career/goals.

Exactly what to you wish to get from a military career?

 

Remember that although you think you may be suited for one field, the Air Force will place you where IT needs you.

Food for thought.

 

I've always wondered why do people feel the need to join the military to "serve their country". There are certainly other ways. But that's just me :/