Fighting it back

im the same... all i find that helps is talking to people on here, theyre a great bunch it helps to just type how you feel and to have teh sense someone gives a damn.

you want to chat to me anytime you can ...

and welcome to Ec

 

Hiya and welcome. :smilewave I think a lot of people here can relate to this, me for one anyway. It does feel horrible to feel very lonely and like you don't really have any real friends. I've been having the same feeling for a few years since I moved to the city I am living in now. I just try and keep myself busy by getting involved in whatever takes my interest at the time. A lot of it is just wasting time on the internet, but as I am curious by nature, I can waste a lot of time reading stuff. Working around the house is also a good cure for it, just to keep the mind off of feeling down.
Recently I have gotten a bit more down and lonely than before, so I have been excersing a bit and plan on playing some sport in my time off. Hopefully I'll get to meet some likeminded people this way, as everyone at my work seems rather homophobic and well, just not my kind of people. Makes me feel like the odd one out a lot of the time, but meh, I get used to it.
As for a real bout of depression, if you can feel it coming on, I suppose talking to a profesional would be a good thing to do and hopefully you can cut it off before it develops much worse.
Anyway, just know that there are lots of people here you can chat with that have had similar experiences, so you're certainly not alone in your feelings. (*hug*)

 

Welcome to EC! I've been through a few bouts of depression myself, and I found some things to be helpful. They may or may not help for you, but it wouldn't hurt to try them.

First and foremost, do go see your doctor. Many depressive episodes actually have a physical or chemical cause. You might think this isn't the case, but then again, it's always pretty easy to find a "reason" that you're depressed. I've had two major bouts - for the first, I thought it was because I couldn't get a job in my chosen field, and I thought the second was due to my upcoming middle age. In retrospect, they were chemical in nature, and I simply assigned reasons to them based on where I was at. Not saying that's the case with you, but it certainly might be. Best to have that checked out, so if it IS chemical, you can fight it on that front.

Secondly, get proactive about the things you're unhappy about in your life. You say you're going to the gym now, and that's excellent! It's a good proactive step towards helping something you're unhappy with, and exercise tends to be a good idea when one is feeling down, in any event. You might want to look at changing your eating habits as well, if you're interested, and if you haven't done so already.

As far as having no friends, that's fine - work on that, too. Get chattier at work. Look online for some clubs or activities near you you might want to get involved with. They can be gay-related if you'd like, but they don't have to be. Biking club? Volunteer groups? Volleyball, bowling, tennis? Museum groups? See if you can find something that piques your interest, and contact them about joining. Also, nudge the friendliness up a bit. Start a couple conversations in the grocery store with the employees or other shoppers. They don't have to be deep or long - you're just putting some feelers out. "Do you know where the baking soda is?" "Have you tried this product?" Don't expect that all, or most, or even any of these conversations will lead anywhere necessarily. But they'll accomplish a couple things. First, they'll give you a bit of social interaction, which is always nice when you're feeling alone. And secondly, they'll "exercise your social muscles". They'll keep you in practice interacting with others, so you'll find it easier to interact with others elsewhere. And keep it up. Do so at the coffee shop, at work, everywhere.

I would greatly suggest volunteering. You don't need to devote tons of time to it - a couple hours of week is plenty. I've found nothing helps me when I'm feeling down like helping others. It doesn't matter what you do, really. I've tutored GED students, recorded books for blind and dyslexic students, and helped in the kitchen at a retirement home. Anything you think you might be good at, or you might enjoy doing. It'd be both very welcome and very rewarding.

Lastly, yes, there's online. It's not a perfect substitute for human interaction, but it can go a long way towards alleviating the symptoms. Hang out here, join some conversations. And find a couple other sites you might like, as well.

I have a feeling we can get you through this. Let us know how else we can help.

Lex

 

Hi dude, welcome! Its hard to be alone, i think we all know the feeling. So long the denial, pretending, hiding, etc etc etc. Hang in there and keep EC as part of your practice. The folks here are totally awesome. I look forward to reading your posts.

 

Hi and welcome to EC. Being totally in the closet with respect to your orientation can cause a huge sense of isolation and loneliness. That might be what needs to change for you to feel better about yourself and your relationships with others.

But it doesn't have to happen right away. Get comfortable with yourself and feel good about being bisexual. THEN you'll have the attitude necessary to come out to people with confidence and in a positive way.

Best thing to do for that? Keep hanging around here. Voice your concerns and your fears. We have all 'been there, done that' and we can share what our experiences were with you.

Good luck - and again, welcome!