my mom just texted me that my grandpa and grandma (my dad's mom and her partner) are going to be put into a care facility/old folks home asap. they both have alzheimer's, and apparently are declining in health a lot. i didn't visited them over the summer because I didn't want them to not recognize me. I hadn't seen them since I first cut my hair, so basically they don't know me as anything but a barely-butch girl. I'm just really depressed that I can't be there (I'm in Massachusetts, they're in California), and I'm sad that I haven't seen them in so long. I remember how cool they were before they started losing their memory, and I had such good times with them. I remember when my maternal grandma had a few strokes and went into a care facility, and basically when you go in there, you don't come out. I'm going to be home in October, but I don't know if I want to see them. I mean, I do want to see them, but there is no way they'll recognize me at all. I kinda just want to go and play cello for wherever they are, and see them from a distance and not tell them who I am. also, I've been having huge mood swings. I was so happy just a bit ago, really excited before that, I almost cried before dinner, and it's just been really weird. /rant. I'm sorry guys. I'm just freaking out a bit. and everyone is asleep and my best friend is sick. but tomorrow I'm visiting a transguy friend in NY, so maybe things will look better in the morning. I'm going to sleep.
hey miles, my grandfather died a couple years back, and he also had alzheimers. my parents didn't want me to visit him because they wanted me to remember him the way he was. to this day it makes me so upset, that i never got to say good bye, or have some more memories with him. i think that you should visit them, and maybe explain things. im really not that great at giving advice, but i would if i would you, spend as much time as you could with them. i hope this helped
About your Grandparents,this has to be something you want to do. Do you want to see them,as they are,or remember them,like they were? I was extremely close to my Grandmother,yet when she was dying,I left the hospital. I couldn't bear to see her die. There are times that I wish I HAD been there,but I know she understands why I couldn't. Ultimately,it's up to you. I wish you the best with this. Mood swings- Are you taking hormones (testosterone)? If you are,that could be a reason why your moods are all over the place. If NOT,it could be stress. If it continues,though or gets worse,you should see a Dr. who can help. I wish you all the best with this,too.
O, Miles. (*hug*) Imma message you (on Facebook), but I just wanted to give you the hug smiley here. (*hug*)
Hi Miles (*hug*) I completly understand where you stand. One of my grand-fathers is at the hospital for 3 weeks and there is no way he could come back home now, he is going to be put in care facility in the next week. My grand-mother will be alone at home and I don't know how she'll stand it. And my other grand-parents are in bad shape too, they both started to lose their mind, my grand-mother quicker than my grand-father. For the moment they are still at home, but that's because my parents live with them, and my mother is considering to stop working to take care of them full time. Seing our grand-parents becoming ill, weak and losing their mind is really upsetting. Whatever you decide to go and see them or not, it'll be fine. We all cope with that sorts of things a different way. I remember I spend as much time as possible with my great-grand-father when he lost his mind and was put in care facility, and my brother nearly never went to see him. Each of us coped with it the way we could. If you decide to go to see them, even if they don't recognize you, they probably be pleased anyway. Even when they don't recognize people, people with alzheimer's disease still recognize affection most part of the time. Take care (*hug*)
That sounds like a great idea. Alzheimer's is a horrible disease, and it impacts the entire family - not just the person who develops it. My maternal grandmother had it, and it was extremely hard on my mother and her dad. We continued to visit with grandma even after she went into a nursing home, but it became more and more difficult with time. 15 years later, my grandfather entered a nursing home due to his failing health. But he certainly enjoyed the visits. At that time we'd had our first daughter, so I would bring her and our golden retriever to the nursing home, and we were always a big attraction. People generally love babies and animals. People also generally love good music, which is why I think playing the cello for them would be a wonderful idea, even if they don't recognize you. I'm sorry you're feeling down over this. That's quite normal. That's the thing with alzheimer's - you lose the loved one twice. Once mentally, and then physically. :icon_sad:
