Thought I'd see what you guys thought about this. I've already come out to my best friend and now I sort of want to come out to 2 more of my best friends. These two I'm thinking of coming out to soon, one of them has been my best friend for 12 years and I don't think she'll care, she may be a bit weirded out by it though, but I suppose that's acceptable so long as she gets over it. My other friend however is a homophobe... I'm hoping that if my first friend is completely cool with me being bi, her acceptance will hopefully rub off on our other friend a little... But I can see us never having sleep overs again or making sussed jokes. I can easily imagine her looking at me and treating me very differently after I've told her, if she will still talk to me and hang out with me.. Last week I was hanging out with them both and the 2nd friend was asking me what I've been up to (haven't seen her for AGES) and before I could answer my 1st friend said to her with a straight face that we were complete lesbians and were dating each other (lol she has a bf of 3 years who she loves dearly and everyone knows it too) yet my 2nd friend was gullable enough to BELIEVE HER. Her face.. her mouth just dropped open and she couldn't say anything, she asked twice if my friend was joking) When my friend said it my homophobe friend stared at me for a couple of seconds then just looked away and wouldn't look at me, she kept her eyes on my other friend.. I don't want to keep anything from her, I'd feel worse if I told my first friend but not her. But I don't know if I should or not... What do you guys think? Also I want to start being open about being bi, like sort of letting word spread by itself and just being open about it, but I'm worried that it will get back to my family. My sister is 2 years younger than me and is friends with a few of my friends/acquaintances but if she found out I'd die. I want my friends to know i'm bi but well, the risk.. I'm going to talk to the girl who already knows I'm bi about telling other people too. I need some back up on this because I know that once I've done it I can't jump back in the closet.. I'm just worried about what people will say about me and that it may get back to my family which I'm COMPLETELY not ready for. I want to come out to my friends so bad though. Sorry for the uber long post ^_^; If anyone has any advice on coming out to my homophobe friend or any of my friends, or if you have any advice or comments in general please reply! I'll be really grateful for any thoughts on this. ~ Missy
If you're really as good friends with this homophobe as you say you are, then coming out to her will be the true test of your friendship. From what you've said of her, she will probably react badly at first if you tell her, but if she truly values your friendship, she'll open up to you, and you may even be able to convince her that gay people aren't that bad. As long as you don't push it in her face, she'll be fine with it if she truly values you as a friend. As for the rest of your friends, I find it best to do it at a time when you are both relaxed and casual. Making it a serious matter will make it a big deal, and it isn't a big deal that you're bi, so you don't have to make it one. In my experience, a simple, "By the way, I don't know if you've heard, but I'm bi/gay/whatever," will often suffice. If they have any questions about it, don't hesitate to answer them. As for if your family finds out, why do you say you aren't ready for them to know? I know that telling a family member can be a lot harder than telling a friend because if your family rejects you, its worse than if a friend rejects you. But still, I find that family can be the best place to look for support. Unless your family are homophobes too, they should be fine with your bisexuality, although it may take some time for them to get used to the idea. If they do find out, just make sure they know that you're no different from the daughter/sister they "knew" before they found out.
