Helloo So real quick.. I was in the closet until I came to college 4 weeks ago. Since then I've told several friends from high school, and have been completely out to all new people that I meet. And so far it has been going extremely well. So, onto the boy.. He is a sophomore (I'm a freshman), but we are the same age. He is very attractive, gay, and I've been crushing on him since I first met him a couple weeks ago. We have a class together three times a week and I sit by him. Also in the class are several of his friends and he has sort of taken me under his wing, inviting me to a couple parties and hanging out with me every few days. When we hang out he is nice and its fun and he will sit by me at lunch when there are other seats and will walk with me to class. But he never seems to make any kind of... advance or anything that shows he is 'really' interested in me? But on the phone, or texting, or if we are intoxicated he will be more cute or touchy... After we met he called me one night and said he wants me to go to this gay club with him one night. He called me a few nights in a row and we had short conversations. We also text sometimes, and its cute and fun, but also sometimes I just get the one word answer texts. A couple days ago at one of the parties we went to, we danced (grinding) together for a few songs and were touchy, but we were drunk so.. I honestly can not tell if this is all one sided and he is just being friendly or if he is interested in me. I would really like some advice on how to go about pursuing him or finding out if he is interested.. because I'm completely new to this and clueless. i dont know what to doooo ty so much
Sounds like he's sending signals to me. But I ain't the best judgment of gay flirting yet. Why don't you make an effort to initiate some more contact with him? (assuming he's single)
Hi there! My best advice or suggestion would be to talk it slow, and perhaps try to get to know him better. Go for a couple of coffees, lunches or just invite him over to watch some movies and where you also have some time to talk. The more you talk with him, the better you will be able to judge as to whether he is interested in you. Sometimes, it is very easy to mistake words, or actions as advances or that someone is interested in you, in particular if you already have a crush on that person. When you crush on someone, things take on a whole new meaning and it is easy to read things into them, (things that might not be even there) because a part or you really wants it, and desires to be close to him. If you continue to get to know him, you will find out as to whether all of this means something. Try to take a step back and try to build a friendship and see where this leads you. At times, as we get to know people, and see them in different contexts, feelings for them or whatever we found really attractive about them fades and we get a different feeling about the person. Hope this helps a bit!
He might be thinking the same thing to about. That he is sending signals but not getting any response. I know it's hard to say those he little words but give it a try: I like you.
you could always be honest and upfront and just ask him out on a date, and if he says yes see where it goes, if he says no that he really would rather just be friends and hang out then go with it, but would it hurt to ask....
it could be completely one sided but i highly doubt i have never met an honest to god straight man that would be hitting on you that much, though he might not be gay maybe hes bisexual. best advice i can give is to just ask him. you said you were out right?
He kinda did say...the guy is gay....so that kinda right there says he's gay. I say go for it, hopefully if he's a nice guy, he'll just pass it off if he's not interested and will still stay your friend
Well, have you done anything to let him know you're interested in him? It might be that at the moment you're both too nervous to make a move on the other - the suggestions already made are great - "ask him out" for a coffee-date, or to see a movie or something - just the two of you, so you'll have privacy to talk and get to know each other better... As others have said - "just say something"
Well he seems like the really confident type so that doesn't seem too likely... I'm so hung up on this its all I think about and I'm too scared to ask him to lunch or dinner or something because I dont want to scare him off because we are going to be around eachother for a long time and i dont want it to be akward. Maybe I should just try to move on from him...
even the most confident people have shadows of doubt. Try telling him you really like spending time with him, that is a bombshell. See how he reacts when you tell him, if all else go for it.
Noooo, don't give up that quickly! Being outwardly confident about everyday things doesn't mean that he's entirely comfortable with his sexuality. He sounds like he's into you, at least a bit, so I reckon you should just try and at least push the friendship further and try and get to know him better. If he gets touchy when he's drunk, I would totally be dragging him to the bar every night. :icon_bigg
You're overthinking what it means to ask someone out for dinner. You shouldn't sell it as a date or anything. Just: "hey, care to come with me to get something to eat tonight?". If he is into you, it will be seen as evidence that you like him too, and if he isn't, well, then it's just going out to eat something with a friend. Just see it as a chance to talk! There is zero chance of things turning awkward just by hanging out. After all, he already asked you to go to parties and a gay club, so I'm guessing he's not the kind of guy that would get scared off by being asked to go out for something to eat.
