Well school and univeristy are over and my friends are scattered arround the country, not that they were gay in any case. Over a year and I still haven't got a boyfriend, not that I've ever had one or a girlfriend either because I'm a 'toatal sweetheart' which is good for firendships and bad for dating apparenty I went to one of the gay social groups. Only three members, all very late 20's early 30's and already great friends with eachother but totaly lisping limp wrists calling everyone bitch which I can't stand I can't go ot a gay bar because I have to drive there so I cant drink, meaning I'll probably have a heart attack out of nerves and I have never been able to pick people up in bars anyway. God my life sucks Does anyone else have this problem? :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:
I'm in the same boat. After uni, it seems my friends (none of them gay either, I thought) decided to spread out as far and wide as possible (even to the farthest reaches of South America in one case). And then I had to find a job and keep it, and learn new skills and... the list goes on, resulting in not much happening on the relationship front. I was wrong about one thing, though. Some of my friends turned out to be gay after all. Truly ironic we only found that out about each other after uni :eusa_doh: So, I might not be the best person to give you a failproof way of getting a relationship. but maybe it would be best if you just went out to a bar to hang out, and not to pick up a guy? Try not to get worked up over the thought of: "I want to find Mr Right tonight!" but just go to have fun. I don't know about bars where you are, but around here it isn't really a problem if you drink just a coke or an ice tea. And you had a bad (or at leat not stellar) experience at one of the gay groups. But maybe there are others that you could try out? I think that, while I haven't found anyone yet, I'm much happier since I stopped seeing it as a problem, though. See it as an opportunity to learn more about life, a time to find a job, a time to do exploring, instead of as time you're wasting while there's no boyfriend in sight.
I've felt that way before myself; feeling very lonely and desperate for a boyfriend, but was continually disappointed when I never met Mr Right. It's just not a good way to think about it, and as Filip said the focus should not be finding the perfect boyfriend, it should just be finding good friends. But I was in your situation, not being able to go to gay bars, I couldn't even face going to gay support groups. My only way of even speaking to other gay people was through an online dating website, where I formed a friendship with someone, which later led to a relationship, and now I have an amazingly wonderful boyfriend who I love. But you don't want love and then find a boyfriend, you make friends and then fall in love. If I were you I'd continue to be a 'total sweetheart'. Just enjoy yourself, enjoy your friendships, and as far as possible keep getting out there and going to these support groups; you never know one day someone else might join who is more your type than the usual crowd.
I konw, thanks guys. It's just my two best friends have moved in with their boyfriends who are also close friends of mine. A pretty major step for both couples and yet I navent even been kissed. It's just been getting me down I will try your suggestions and keep working on my firendships. hopefully something will come up. thanks guys
I know the feeling. This month a lot of my friends are getting married (and I do mean a lot. I literally have to use the weeks to recuperate from the weddings in the weekends ). Every wedding I attend, I find myself increasingly worrying if there's something wrong with me that these people are all getting married while I haven't even held hands... But life's not a competition. It isn't about getting into a relationship first. One day you'll probably meet someone that makes you forget all of the relationshipless years before. And in the meantime if you ever feel down, we're still here to cheer you up!
i don't know about UK, but girls in the states LOVE going to gay bars with their gay guy friends. So I'd suggest going with a 2. So that way, you can all hangout, but should you pick up a guy, they're not alone. :]
