I work with a girl my age (20). She has a great sense of humour and we joke with each other all day. A lot of what we say is sexual innuendos, such as "can you spoon me"- her, asking me to give her some spoons with some coffees, and I reply "every single day of the week, Natalie." And she gives a massive smile and laughs. This goes on all day, jokes of similar nature. She comes up really close to me also and our arms are always touching. However, she refers to a few of her lesbian friends as "lesbos" and she has mentioned that a certain male movie character was "hot". So I think she's just a really flirty straight girl, but I've kinda fallen for her. My question is though, if she asks if I'm a lesbian, what should I say? I don't want to lie and say no, but if I say yes I don't want her to freak out thinking I was serious with all our jokes. Ever been in the same situation and how should I handle it? Thanks people.
Firstly, I don't think she is being derogitory when saying lesbos. If she didn't like them, she wouldn't be friends with them. Also, saying someone is hot, doesn't neccesarily mean they want to be with them. I'm not sexually attracted to girls at all really, but I can appreciate girls that are sexy and honestly say they are sexy. Just not sexy to me in a, uh, sexual way. (heh, if that makes any sense at all) But yeah, some straight people are just naturally flirty and touchy. Any attention is welcome. Its hard to read people like that. I had a stright friend I crushed on for years who used to always give me physical contact, and I totally read it wrong. Not sure what to suggest on how to proceed, other than getting to know her better, ie, in a relationship, maybe see if you can suggest coming along if she goes for a night out with her "lesbo" friends? See how she acts around them, and if she is just flirty/touchy with everyone. Oh, and welcome! :smilewave
In my opinion, it's much harder to read straight girls flirting then guys, because it's completely normal and accepted for girls to be affectionate towards one another. That's why I don't think you can only go based on physical closeness. A few of my straight girl friends do the same thing that you and your friend do with eachother, but they're obviously straight. I think if you really want to get a clear answer from her, you should come out to her. This way it puts the ball in her court. If she comes out to you, great! If not, well now you have a really good friend who knows more about you. And since she has lesbian friends as you said I doubt she'd have a negative reaction. Good luck!
Hmm tough. But I can say been there done that. I worked with this chick at Starbucks last year and ended up doing similar things. Basically, I doubt she'll ever ask. And if she does play it down like, "yeah, you didn't know?". It seems rude, but honestly that is how I always managed to protect myself and stay out of trouble. If she asks if you were joking, tell the TRUTH! Just play it cool, take a deep breath and say something like "I know you were". It may strike up a conversation you're not comfortable with, but I've done the lying thing before and all it does is hurt. I think that if she's playing like this with you she probably already knows about you, she is curious but also straight, and she trusts you enough to play knowing nothing will happen. Did any of that make sense? Just reply or PM me if that didn't...I tried to explain I'm just not completely awake at the moment.
It's been a while since I first posted, but a lot has happened since then and it would be awesome to get some more feedback from you guys. Well we've gotten to the point where we talk everyday, mostly via text or facebook. 85% of what we say is romantic language or innuendos. She'll say she wants me in her bed, she wants me etc. If she asks a favour, I ask her what I get for doing her the favour, she'll say "a kiss" or "spooning in my bed" etc. There's also a fair bit of "accidental" touching etc. I do reciprocate all this. But as soon as we hang out outside of work, usually a run or dinner, the flirting stops dead. Things are awkward when we're alone. So, I wonder if she's taking me for one big ride. I know what we say is joking around, but she does seem genuinely attached to me. However, she has a boyfriend, who I have never met. Also, one of our mutual friends who knows her very well said "i wouldn't get too close to that one." So my question is, while I have developed romantic feelings for her and she gives me butterflies, should I trust my suspicions and back off in case this is all a big set-up? Or could there be a genuine truth in this romantic "humour." Thanks in advance and for reading this far!
Perhaps she wants to see what it's like with a woman but says she's straight when she's really "curious"?
