I'm sort of lost right now. I live in the Bible Belt in an area that is congested with Southern Baptists and ignorant people. I have found some people who are fine with me being gay, but I also have friends who have a strong dislike of gays. I know it's ironic, but when you're someone like me who has been seeking acceptance for a long time, it's hard to let go of people who have been your friends for a while. I'm quite sure that the friends who dislike gays don't know that I'm not straight, but I'm afraid of what they'll think when I decide to come out. The second part of my problem is that I don't know when or how to come out to the people around me. I'm a year away from college. I still don't know what school I'm attending, but I'd like to go to the one that's closest to me because I want to be around my good friends and I don't want to pay extra money for room and board and all of that stuff. I want to be able to date someone without being so secretive. I want to be able to get a date and expand my dating options. And I want to be honest with my family. I want them to realize that I'm probably never going to bring a guy home with me for the holidays or dinner. I still have some time and maybe it'll be easier after I graduate, but I'm just lost. I'm sick of being in the closet.
You say in your post that you're gay, and won't ever bring a guy home for dinner. Yet your orientation indicates you're bisexual. Me = confused. If you're still trying to figure it out for yourself, that's fine. You're entitled. But maybe it's too early to say 'never'. At 17 there's no requirement to come out to anyone at the moment. You'll need to spend time getting comfortable with yourself before you can expect others to be comfortable with your orientation. But no doubt some will be comfortable and accepting of it. Others won't be unfortunately. But it sounds like you're going to have to get used to it. If you plan on stay in the 'Bible Belt' to go to school, then you're going to have to make the best of it. Maybe starting a GSA in your school is something you could do to start changing the attitudes of your friends. You wouldn't have to come out necessarily - but it might be a pretty strong hint to your friends that you're not quite straight. Not sure what else to suggest. Acceptance will come as we educate others.
I live right across from you in the suburbs of Georgia. So I absolutely know what it's like to live with a ton of Baptist crazies constantly blabbing about how being gay is a sin, that gays should burn in Hell, blah blah blah. There's literally AT LEAST one Baptist church on EVERY street in my town. So I can completely sympathize with you here. (*hug*) About the coming out thing...well, I can sympathize with you there, too. I've come out to a few people--and it's taken me a good six months since accepting my sexuality to get there--but I still haven't told many of my really close friends who I've known for years. It's really tough, because I know a few of them don't agree with homosexuality, and probably never assumed that one of their closest friends has been gay all this time. But I am, and I've accepted it, and I've just got to figure out a way to tell them without completely disillusioning them and everything they used to think about me. The best advice I can give you--and, considering I'm in a really similar situation, it's probably not that great --is to just keep moving and don't be discouraged. If you can find a few of your really close friends who you don't think would care, why not start with them? Just getting one or two positive reactions does wonders for self-esteem, and only makes it easier to tell more people. Just take it slow, and don't feel pressured to tell everyone all at once.
