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Holy shit, I'm actually crying

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Fiender, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. Fiender

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    But... I don't cry... I'm feeling so many emotions right now.

    There's a guy I like (you guessed it, he's STRAIGHT), but I didn't realize how much I liked him until last night while we were chatting. I really do think I'm in love. And I've been crying ever since because I know he'd never feel the same way.

    I don't think I can stay friends with him simply because of the effect he has on me. I don't think it's healthy for either of us. I was planning on talking to him over the phone to let him know exactly how I feel. This is what I'm planning to say.

     
  2. kizza111

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    awwh dude! thats so sweet :slight_smile: Sorry to hear he's straight, and i think your right to tell him anyway. But i really dont think you should not be friends, i understand why your doing it but it wont solve anything, itll make you worse because you will miss him.

    And keep your hopes up, maybe he's gay or bi and hasnt realized it or come out! Just hold on and good luck!(&&&)
     
  3. Jay D

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    I know how you feel ... although I never had exactly the same situation, I did have a guy I fancied who (yeah, you got it) didn't fancy me. But we all have this and we all get through it - you just need a lot of TLC.
     
  4. Filip

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    (*hug*)

    Crushing on someone that doesn't love you back is always a bad feeling. And it might seem as if cutting him off is a good idea. And if you really can't solve the situation, it might actually be the best thing to do... And what you want to say to him is pretty moving words...

    But I think that one day is too soon to tell. You're still swept away by the first rush of emotions. Try not to make snap decisions about not seeing him again, ever. I'd say give it a week or two at least, to see if the feelings stay, or if they become bearable again. Maybe limit the contact a bit. Try not to see him or talk to him for a few days and try to do things other than thinking of him. Maybe the feeling does subside a bit and you can salvage a good friendship from this.

    Take care! And keep faith that things will turn out OK! (*hug*)
     
  5. Jack2009

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    Unless I was an open minded fag stag straight dude... I would find the letter ackward and embarassing.
     
  6. Fiender

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    Well, he and I started chatting on facebook but apparently he was high last night so he didn't remember anything we talked about.
    :tears:
     
  7. Jim1454

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    So is he still as perfect to you now as he was before?!? Being too high to remember anything that was discussed isn't really a quality I'd be looking for in a guy.

    But regarding your letter, I'd tone it down a little. Let him know how you're feeling, but you could suggest that you'd like to keep some distance. It's not like you're moving to the other side of the world, is it? Making this big dramatic good bye might seem silly if you're likely going to see him at the mall next weekend...
     
  8. hairdye

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    if you said all the stuff you wanted to say....
    he could be saying he was "too high to remember", so you can stay friends, even though you got it off your chest. And so you don't feel awkward around him. "/
     
  9. Miles D

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    I think it's interesting that many people feel like sharing their unrequited love to their crush... I think that's the last thing you'd want to do. Because in the end, what is it going to accomplish? It'll make you feel awkward, he'll feel awkward, and it might be impossible to rekindle the flame of friendship if you ever get over this crush and want to hang out again.

    So I'd try to cease contact but not necessarily burn down the bridge, you know?

    (*hug*)
     
  10. dude99

    dude99 Guest

    Well I had a crush on a straight friend of mine. I never told how I feel, however the mistake was I was trying to get too close. As a result I was depressed. I as a result kept my distance. Anyway I lost contact with him for a few years but then found him again. Anyway the crush how I feel about him is not there anymore, and recently came out to him and he was ok about it. Anyway I still friends with this guy.
     
  11. acorn7

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    It's good you want to keep a distance at least for a while between you too. However, I'd tone down the melodrama in the letter, specifically the "Goodbye" and comment about future life and the details of why you have a huge crush on him. Honestly, it would make things even more weird for him. It's best to play it cool and downplay this like "I know it can't happen, just wanted to let you know" etc.
     
  12. Fiender

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    ^Haha yeah, I was really sad and emotional when I wrote that. I just sort of decided to try and leave him alone.

    Also, I used to see him in school but now that we've graduated I haven't even talked to him face to face. All of our conversations have been on facebook. We've kinda talked about hanging out tho, idk if I should.
     
  13. L|L

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    qft

    I couldn't help but think "oh, please, tell me you didn't send that note."
     
  14. JoeG

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    Hey, umm, read most of wot, was said, not alll, ,not ad time, but i get the idea. Espcially ur fisrt message. A quick story:
    Met a guy, yh he's stright, told him was bi and i reallllly, liked'like him, got drunk and kissed him. Yh not good i no. and i was such a mess after, confusssed as to why i did it, and mega sozzzzz cos i thought i'd srewed up our freindship,(we're realllly close have been for a year, thought it seemms ages) i think thats one of the worst things' if done. end of story.
    but the thing is once i said i was soozzz and it would nvere happen again , he understood, and i haven't lost a friend. the thing im tryinin to say is don't simply cut ur self offf cos thats defo way worse.
    I didn't cry but as said i was srewd up for about 2 weeks, now it's died down we'r still wicked mates.
    and remeber ther's always some one out ther.xxx