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Torn.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by JT, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. JT

    JT
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    So.. approaching the end of the second week being single, I'm kind of conflicted.

    Kyle and I have been trying to make friendship stay in tact through this. Up until maybe two days ago I was doing really well with rolling with the punches. It's just an odd predicament. He breaks up with me, so what he wants out of the future is pretty clear to him for the most part. But me, being broke up with over not-so-concrete things just has me thinking a lot about why this has occurred. I know it's not great to dwell on unclear motives, but as I keep getting one slap in the face after another, it's becoming increasingly difficult to hand out a "Benefit of the Doubt" card.

    So what's really been making this difficult is the ex boyfriend that came before me. I'd come into the picture around the end of Kyle and said ex's relationship. I know my presence didn't help the situation with concerns of infidelity, but nothing of the sort happened. Back to the matter; I figured they'd started dating again. Just judging from the fact that Kyle's phone wallpaper was a picture of the both of them. *Keep in mind, Kyle and the aforementioned had broken up on less than spectacular terms. Which in return led to neither speaking for 5 months. Then the ex contacts Kyle, making amends (that's about 2 or 3 weeks before our break-up)* Granted that was only an assumption.

    However, last night, it had been confirmed. I feel/felt like shit after that. I feel like I got played. The thing that kills me is how even when they'd made amends, Kyle made it clear that they were not compatible. Yet? You date him again? Not seeing the logic. Furthermore, he said that he wasn't about to "jump back into" anything with anyone. I wholeheartedly thought that I'd be able to handle this as-is and had even expressed interest in meeting the now boyfriend... I just thought that it'd probably make things easier to cope with. Being able to put something more to someone than just a name. But what do I know? I could be gravely mistaken and it do the opposite.

    So where I'm standing now is torn between doing what I've been doing and just taking the days as they come and dealing with them the best I can accordingly to make this work to the best of MY abilities. Behind door 2 would be a nice gap between Kyle and myself. Giving me time to allow me to concentrate on becoming happy for myself, rather than being happy with his happiness.. The cons would be that not seeing him can be tough at times. I'm undoubtedly still in love with him and don't know if that will change any time soon under any circumstances. Another being that the gap could potentially never really revert back to what it was or has been, thus creating a completely undesired outcome. Stranger things have happened.
     
  2. Lexington

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    Can you step away for awhile? Kyle is bound to understand. Just say "I'm still having some issues with us breaking up, so I think I need some time apart." And then, do it. Defriend him on myspace and facebook, so you're not tempted to see what he's up to. Stop texting him, calling him, IMing him. Focus on other things for awhile.

    Lex
     
  3. Alex19

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    your ex's name is kyle too? LOL