OK... about a year ago, when I was a nervous, closeted type, I never thought that 400 odd posts later (this is actually 399!) I'd get to the stage where I end up posting something like this - but anyway... I've recently started going to a gay male-voice-choir in my area - and although I've only been to a couple of rehearsals so far, there's a guy who I've taken a shine to, and I think he has taken a shine to me as well... We both went for the first time on the same week, and we chatted for a bit afterwards... to cut the story short, we seem to be really hitting it off - I get the impression he likes me too, we've talked a bit, and danced a bit (thanks to the group going to a bar after rehearsal last week which had a dancefloor)... and that dancing got *very* touchy-feely (won't go into details, but there was some groping and kissing going on, and the dancing was more wrapping our arms round each other and swaying to the music... - afterwards as we decided to go somewhere quieter and more private, but I'm gonna keep this post clean... ) I like him. I know I like him. I've told him as much, and I don't just mean physically (although there is that too) - he's a really nice guy, we have similar tastes in movies, TV, music etc... I'm getting the impression he like me too (despite my weight issues).... I'm just a bit lacking in confidence in myself, and am so very nervous about this... I just don't want to come on too strong and scare him away... or not strong enough and leave him thinking I'm not interested... I've sent him a message asking him out for a quiet meal, so we can talk as well as eat - but it'll have to wait until after I get back from a trip I've got coming up in a few days, as our work schedules don't match up easily... However, I then sent a second message suggesting that we call it a "date"... not had a reply... was I too forward? or am I just paranoid... am I over-analysing the situation... I wish I wasn't tended towards overanalysing things and generally thinking too much... Worst case, I'll talk to him at the next rehearsal we're both at - which will be a couple of weeks away - but I'd kinda like to have set something up in the meantime where we can talk without the rest of the group around, and get to know each other... Any advice please? Am I being too forward, or am I just over-analysing the situation in my head while I wait for a reply... suffice to say, if things do progress, he'd be my first proper gay relationship... so I really don't want to be the one to muck this all up before it starts.
Well, I think you are doing just fine Wanting to be with him one on one rather than in your singing group is a good step, and certainly asking him out and then clarifying that you are really asking for a "date" is cute and does show him your interest. All we know is what you've told us, but it does seem to me that you're over-analyzing things and just need to relax and wait for his response. Good luck!
Well, if you sent him a message asking him for a date, then sent one right after shoving the word "date" in his face, it could be seen as "strong". I dont know too much about dating, but seeing as i live my life through TV drama's i think your first message was fine on its on. If he is interested like you think he is, he will think of it as a "date". If he is not interested or wants to take things slow, he can think of it however he wants. Not labeling it gives that freedom. Sticking the word "Date" on it so soon can feel confining. But you did send the second message, so thats history now. I guess the best thing for you to do is give him time to reply, and when you talk to him next act normal and dont bring it up. Wait for him to bring it up, or if he does not then ask him if he wants to go grab something to eat/drink or something like that, casual and non-confining. Atleast thats my take on it Whatever you do, i hope it works out between you guys.
Thanks guys... I'm just going to have to let it sit - to be clear, I'd not called it a "date" before... I think the second message was probably a mistake with hindsight - but hopefully not a major one.
I think you are fine. It sounds like you both hit it off so I would not worry about calling it a date. I would just wait for him to make the next move. If you send him another text that would be pushing it.
Well, nothing more came of it. We might do something else (like seeing a movie) but "just as friends" as he put it.
im sorry nothign came of this but on a positive note you do have new friend who likes the same things you do.. wish it had been moer for you though (*hug*)
I don't think you came on too forward at all. You asked him out, you put the ball in his court, so now he has needs to respond.
