ok i posted in a different thread on an update of my life where i totally made a stupid decision in reference to my first sexual experience and now i feel a lot on the used and only attractive enough for 3rd base one night stand side of things..... i need some honest opinions because i dont know i feel like yeah i am sort of attractive but of course im gonna want to say that cause i am talking about myself so i am going to try a couple things to get honest answers here about wether i am really all that attractive. Besides that despite the fact that i was totally used i can't get over the fact i would do anything to do it all over again just because of how good it felt before things started getting to far. Just to hold someone like that and kiss was so good and so basically i also feel rather sluttish. And the guy who did this to me was the only one in my school i was attracted to on a physical and emotional level.... IDK what to do i feel like i am over it but at the same time am completely desperate to feel that good again....
You're okay looking. Not the guy who screams "WOW HOT!!!" but the guy in the room most people will think "he's alright". Not ugly to be turn off, but not Brad Pitt either. Good looking enough to date, but not good looking enough to stay in the date if all else fails. I'm being honest here. 6.5/10, maybe 7/10
Don't worry I think you're main issue is weight/hair or something like that. You look 25-30 lbs overweight, and your hair looks like its greasy. And that hairstyle isn't super flattering either. I don't see anything wrong in the face from the angles you show, and could be hotter based on potential.
yeah ive been trying to eat and work out to loose weight/gain muscle other than that idk what to do with hair xD
Well, there's one major flaw in your thinking, I think. You're wondering how attractive you are, which is something absolutely everybody thinks about quite a bit. But you're specifically asking "Am I more attractive than get-to-third-base-in-a-one-night-stand sort of way?" And that's where the waters get really murky. First off, when you're talking about how physically attractive you are (or how attractive ANYBODY is), you're talking looks. The superficial. The "yeah, I'd hit that" factor. Or, to put it another way, the "get-to-third-base-in-a-one-night-stand" kind of way. The question you're really asking is "am I loveable?" Are you somehow capable of having a guy want to be in a long(er than one night)-term relationship? And the fact is - everybody IS capable of being loved. But that's something that doesn't really come across in a photo. You have to get to know someone, click with them, and let the relationship develop. That's one of the reasons you tend to hear people suggest waiting a bit before letting the relationship get physical. So to answer the unasked question - are you lovable? Or course you are. It's just that this guy wasn't one who DID love you. That doesn't make YOU unlovable. It just makes YOU TWO incompatible. You're not out of options just because this guy's a loser. Lex
I already responded to the other thread, so I figure I’ll respond to the follow-up as well. Now, first of all, there’s no way I ever can say a guy is attractive without feeling like a total creep. I’ll suffer that feeling for once , and say that I think you’re cute! Not underwear model cute, perhaps, but then again, not a lot of people are. But I don’t think you’re a “use him for fun and then dump him” type! Lex is right, though. A lot of what happens when two people are attracted is beyond the purely physical. Looking attractive helps, but I have had quite a few encounters with people that were rather hot that turned out to either be jerks, or just not people I could find myself spending time with. On the other hand, a lot of the people I find myself attracted to are just people I talk to, which I wouldn’t have considered to be my type at all. In fact, literally all of the people I crushed on, I did through conversing with them. None of them were people I would have stared at in the street. Please do try not to be desperate for that feeling you had. It’s nice, yeah, but it’s better if it leads to something more than just a one-off encounter. Otherwise you risk getting into a cycle where you feel great and then bad again. It’s a lot more fun doing the whole dance of attraction thing and letting it build. After building up the feeling for some time, it will be a lot more fun when physical things do happen Also, if you take your time, you’re also more sure that the feeling is sincere. But don't panic! Acting in desperation is the worst thing you can do. You are cute and loavble, and the right guy will come along someday!
I don't think you need to feel sluttish either. It is very unfortunate that he used you, and that's his flaw, not yours. (http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/album.php?albumid=1613&pictureid=15186) And for the record, completely honest, I think you are very attractive. The hair isn't that bad by the way, I'd suggest a straightener and alittle bit of product. Sexah. I could see something along those lines coming from your hair. Maybe not as emo-dramatic. But...close.
I think you're good looking. Certainly better looking than most people. I would take a second look if you were to walk pass me. I don't think you need to worry about finding someone who will love you.
I think just about everybody has worries about their looks at some point. Even supermodels! But as Lex pointed out, its not about looks when you're talking about love. And the more you fall in love, some of those little imperfections turn into adorable character marks. Every single guy I have crushed really hard on was pretty much not someone that turns heads. (can't say they were ugly, just not what people would call good looking) So, even though you feel used, enjoy the little fling you got to have with the cute guy, and start looking elsewhere.
You're definitely a cutie and I think a *lot* of guys would come up to you in a club or bar or wherever. But as others have said... looks, even in the ridiculously-focused-on-looks-and-otherwise-incredibly-shallow gay community, are not the only thing. You write intelligently and communicate thoughts clearly. You have something thoughtful to say about a lot of things. When you get past the shallowness of looks, what's underneath that *is* really important if a relationship is going to work in the long term. And I don't think there's any question you have got the goods there. So on both looks and intelligence, you've got the goods. The challenge is learning to love yourself. As I've said before, all of us who are gay have an "extra helping" of emotional baggage in addition to the baggage everyone else has, but it's not that difficult to get past if you put your mind to it, open yourself up to the aspects of yourself that need to change. Only you and the people really close to you can tell you what those factors are, but I'm guessing a lot of it is just believing in yourself. I feel like a salesperson for this book, since I recommend it here all the time, but Joe Kort's "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love" is a truly life-changing book that I think you (and most everyone else here at EC) could benefit from reading. It is a dense read, but it is so full of wisdom and understanding about issues -- like self esteem, shame, and the things that keep us from being fully open to relationships -- that if you read and really take to heart what it says, it can really make a meaningful difference in your life. I would also encourage you to think about what it is you are really seeking out of a relationship. A lot of people with insecurities are, at their core, seeking validation that they are loveable, and that's why they seek relationships... and that is generally *not* a good reason to want a relationship, because it doesn't heal the underlying beliefs that drive that need. So as you explore and learn to love yourself simply because you realize that you're a good, wonderful person that deserves love, *that* is when you begin to seek out healthier relationships, and the healthier people that tend to come to you when you're putting off a healthy and well-adjusted "vibe" to others
i really don't know what you are worried about, i think that when it comes to getting into a relationship is concerned its more about who you are than what u look like, and i don't know why you are worried about your appearance, ok you might not have Brad Pitt's pecks but you are cute enough and have cool hair and you are definately better than just being good for one-night-stands, i just think that you are more likely to find happiness if you are happy with who you are and not always worrying about your appearance and finding something more than sex.
really thanks to everyone who posted was a serious uplift to me that i needed i even got teary eyed (*hug*)'s to all thank you sooooo much
This is a super major bump, but I think you look great bro. I've been reading your posts and I went from depressed to happy, cause your posts helped me.
lol you look better than me and who cares there will always be somebody who will love you in the end , we all want just that someone to hold us and love us but it takes time so just hold if there and besides your cute ^ ^
Sorry, but I disagree with everyone, and while you might think I'm trying to boost your self-esteem, i honestly give you like 9.5/10. You're the type of guy I like, youo look absolutely adorable, and just seem like a genuinely nice guy.
Gonna agree with Revan here. I dunno what these peeps are saying, but you look exactly like what I'm looking for. Stop downing yourself.
I have the same self image problems. Most people have them to some degree. But don't kid yourself. You're very attractive, almost to the point if we were to go on a date, I'd stress myself out trying to impress you. You're that good looking. :lol: (Wow, that sounded less creepy in my head.)
ok i dont lie as well thats a pain in the ass and takes to much effort... you look fine def a 9 theres nothign wrong with you...i dont say 10 as that is saved for someoen you fall for lol... dont worry (*hug*)
