Hi im new to this site but i needed to talk. Ive spent most of my life trying to deal with being gay , even though ive been lucky and my family totally accept me ive even begun to not care so much if people at work know. But i dont think ive ever really accepted it myself. Ive had relationships (guys and girls) i loved most of them on an emotional level and even enjoyed sex but after were finished i feel dirty and like ive done something wrong. only one person in my life have i ever felt ok after sex and i stuffed it up because i was too young and i didnt know what i wanted . i wanted to be with him AND marry the girl i was with, i couldnt put her through that so i ended it and pushed him away. Looking back i know i loved her but i also know he was the love of my life. I feel like all of this and they way society is has contributed to the way i feel after sex . I am not religious and neither were my parents so its not that i feel like im commiting a sin. I suppose i just need to talk about this and maybe see if anyone has been through anything similar. im at a point in my life were i want to feel that connection again like i did with him, but i feel like maybe we only get one chance. Anyway i know i need to talk to a therapist or something about my feeling towards sex but i think i just wanted to tell my story.
I think, maybe you're afraid. You say you don't really care if people at work know, and that your family knows and that they're all cool with it, but maybe you're not letting yourself be proud of who you are? If we don't feel comfortable and proud in our own skin, then nothing ever works out right. Hope this helps.
yeah i think your right since i posted that i have talked to a few people friends, family , and a few people on here . and i think i know were it all comes from but at the base of it all no matter how much everyone in my life accepts me i still have to accept myself . i think im starting to do that , i know i can never change who i am but i can change how i feel about it . Thanks to everyone who uses this site , i think this is a great thing thats going on here . I think everyone who comes to this site are struggling with something in there life , and by reading what others are going through and even trying to help them really does effect the way you feel about your own issues .
that is true. it is a good site. sorry to hear about the problem. if it has happened before that you didnt feel bad after sex, then know that it is possible for that to exist again and permanently. my attitudes have varied over the years - from feeling used a lot, to feeling confident, to totally happy to be naked all the time, to being self conscious, to being empty after sex. etc etc. when it is good it is great, and when love is involved, it just helps much more. i hope it goes right for you.
If the feelings after sex aren't good, then the motivations for having that sex probably aren't right... you're either feeling used, or feeling that you're using someone else. Finding the right person, and being intimate for the right reasons (for both of you, and at that time) will probably leave you with a good feeling afterwards. Good luck!
People definitely do not get just one chance at love. Sometimes we do only get one chance with one person but even that's not a guarantee.
