Suicidal thoughts: Is life worth living?

I am sorry you had to deal with suicidal thoughts (*hug*)
But there is a bright side in what you wrote : it's that you want to live. You want to find back your happiness and from what you said, I'm sure you know that whatever your issues might be, ending your life is not the answer.
That's already a big step you have done for yourself, realizing that even if the painful thoughts are there, what you really want is not to die, but to live.
Now, you probably might use some help to get through this difficult time you're having.
It would be great if you could manage to see a therapist. I have been depressed and suicidal for a long while, I had moments when I was feeling better and but they usualy precede moments where I sank even deeper. I only manage to get through this with the help of a therapist. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Writting about how you feel might help you too, as you seem to have discover with this post. Don't hesitate to express your feelings this way or in any other way you are comfortable with.
If you ever want to talk about this, or about anything, you are very welcome to contact me anytime you want. You'll always be welcome.
I hope you'll feel better soon. Don't give up. (*hug*) Eleanor

 

Oh, mate, we've all been there and it's never a nice place. I'm so so sorry you had to go through it, it must have really hurt. I'm only just coming out of that phase, and it's a long and difficult road to go through. I can only say that once you're out of that phase, it's a great feeling. It's good that you want to get back your former self, and I thoroughly encourage that. Keep trying, you'll get there. Remember you are never alone.

 

I understand what you're feeling, I go through it every day. I wish I had some "fix it now" advice for you but I don't think such a thing exists. All I can say is life is far too beautiful a gift to just toss aside like a used napkin at a trashy taco bell. Just think about it, think about all you'd miss out on, all the happiness you would never experience if you just threw it all away. Sure, the bad would be gone too but are you willing to pay such a high price? I'd recommend you get into counseling, it might just be able to help you overcome this. I wish you the best.

 

The hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it.

 

ummm how old are you??

What's your problems...

 

Most people, most of the time, don't have to find a reason to go on. Living is quite often its own reward. If you're at a point where this isn't the case, not just occasionally but often, it's time to bring in some outside help. And yes, that means a therapist or counselor. If you're in school, your school counselor can be a good starting point. If you're not, do some nosing around for one - there are usually plenty of low-cost options if money is an issue.

I've been down that road twice, and it isn't pleasant. But getting to other side makes everything totally worth it.

Lex

 

wow, im so sorry you are going through this. there not much i can say everyone has said it so well. you are a special person and sometimes life hits so hard. i never thought of killing myself until this year only because life hit me hard and i did not want to deal with it, i wanted to just run away. i still am being hit from it and i just have to keep saying that its going to get better. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. so hang in there we are all here for you. if you ever want to just vent or talk im here look me. keep your head up and things will get better

 

Thats something important to remember.
Support.

There is always, there will always be someone to help.
Don't think there isn't. For these people can restore your faith in humanity, they really can.

 

You are right – life can really suck sometimes. There are times in our lives when nothing feels good anymore. Everything we try goes wrong; it feels as if we are alone, with no one to turn to; we can’t see any solutions to the problems we face, whether they are school, family, money, work, etc. I was there many times.

I remember feeling like life was not worth living. I could not see any way out from my problems. Suicide seemed like it might be a good solution.

There was one big problem with that solution – life’s problems are temporary; suicide is not. While you may not see the solutions to your problems now, they are out there. Life is so long and changes so much over the years. What seems so bad one day will later seem a minor bump in the road. With suicide, you throw away all chance at future happiness.

Today, I was driving down the road and passed a truck full of burial vaults (big cement boxes that hold caskets underground). As I was driving, I thought about that if I had killed myself, I would be in one of those now, gone forever, instead of enjoying a beautiful fall day. Had I ended things, I would have missed the love I feel for my boyfriend. I would never have experienced the joys of all that has come my way in the years since that time.

Sometimes, we cannot cope with what we are facing in life without some help. I couldn’t. Nonetheless, it took me years until I hit absolute rock bottom before I was willing to see a therapist. She helped me in so many ways. She taught me how to view the world and my problems differently, to find solutions that I could not previously see. And, when I could not yet solve a problem, she taught me how to cope with the problem and not allow it to destroy my life.

There is another life that you can live, one filled with happiness, beauty and love. Don’t choose to end your life forever, over what are actually temporary problems. Find the strength within to get to a therapist. If you are in school, talk to your school counselor. Tell your parents. If you are in college, go to the campus counseling center. They all have them, in one form or another. Call a suicide prevention line and get a referral to a community based therapist who can assist you for little or no cost. There are so many options for finding help.

Don’t give up. Life can be so wonderful, once you get through this tough period.

 

wow good luck id

suicide is never the answer

 

i would say suicide isnt the answer, i got depressed a few months back and tried killing myself a few times, like i was standing in the bathtub and threw a plugged in radio in, obviously that didnt work, but then i realized the burden it would have on my family, namely my mother, cuz she doesnt deserve to be put thru that ordeal, shes dealt with enough of them already, so i realized i was really just being selfish and didnt think of the impact it would have had on my family, so i decided not to go thru with any of it

 

"You have to go through some sadness, to feel happy." This is a quote I live by, you should always remember it will get better, so don't give up. You deserve to live, someone on this planet loves you and will miss you terribly if you leave voluntarily. Fighting through this is a tough battle. I know, I've been there, you just need to have the courage to think positively. You have to make a decision in your life to make it bitter or better. Virtual Hugs (*hug*), I hope you find this helpful, good luck and keep on fighting! Love you ( it gets so much better) (&&&)

 

I know how you are feeling, last year my thoughts were much darker. I never actually did injure myself but i did think about it. It is great that you dont want to die and you want to live.

I tried to find things that did make me happy. That took a while, I used to watch the sitcom FRIENDS before i became depressed but that didnt help my depression. The show Glee was actually what kept me from killing myself. I pretty much fell in love with Brittany and so every week I would want to know if Brittany would get a solo or a plot line, so that kept me going from week to week until I was pretty much over everything.

I also wrote a lot. I am dreadful with words so writing is what helps me get out all of the feelings that i have built up.

Another good thing is that you are telling people you are depressed, just by starting a thread like this, you are able to get support. I never told anyone about my depression until after i got out of it, and i really regret it.

I hope this helps.

 

You have a very nice flow with wording and imagery. Have you thought of writing? Maybe all you need is an outlet.

 

I agree with Fugs, perhaps you could use an outlet. Something you know you're good at doing. Perhaps even just a good distraction to build up a bit of strength to think more clearly again. Believe it or not, you should get to know your own mind and how it works, and love it and nurture it like a child's innocent mind. Become your own parent if you will. This is a good coping process that worked for me, and it helped me to love myself and believed that my suffering was only a sign of strength.

It's so good that you want to live, even though it feels like nothing meaningful is coming from it. But there is always a reason to live. Sometimes it's all around you, but you don't notice it because you're clouded by your thoughts. If you can accept that your mind is holding you back, trust that there is always something there for you waiting. Just be patient. Life is beautiful.

What I used to do when I just had to escape, was to take random nodes of public transport that I usually never take, and let them take me away to whereever they wanted. I once took an 1.5 hr train to the end of the line at the other side of my city, strolled around the neighbourhood for about half an hour, took a bus to the adjacent suburb and went shopping for dinner, and the train station was fortunately close by so I took that all the way back home afterwards. What worked for me is the sight of all these faces I've never seen before, and the air felt different because it was a different community. Landmarks were different. Even advertising had subtlely different approaches. It was just plain refreshing, and perhaps you might benefit from that too if you see these things like I do.