Kind of awkward, but didn't feel like posting anonymously, so...

I know the BEST SAFEST way to alleviate your sexual/thoughts and desires, but describing it here wouldn't be very classy.

 

Agreed: the five-knuckle shuffle is the way to go in this case. Unless you guys can break up but come to some agreement regarding sex.

 

Do you really think that if he's emotionally abusive towards you, he'll be able to make you feel that closeness? Sex isn't all about the physical act - if you don't like him, you'll get the physical pleasure at all, but it seems like what you really crave is emotional closeness during sex, which it doesn't sound like he can give you.
You know you need to break it off with him, and I'd say to do that sooner rather than later - the longer you spend in a relationship with him, the more chances there are of things going to that level, and I don't really think that would be helpful for you. Keep searching - put yourself out there, try to get to know people and see if anything develops from then. And yeah, as said above, masturbate - might not be what you're after, but the more sexually frustrated you get, the more you might mess up. Good luck (*hug*)

 

First of all, you're not a d-bag! And don't be sorry for being sixteen. Most people have been there or will be at some point. So most of us do know that feeling of "must have sex NOW!"

I agree with Maddy, above. If he's abusing you, there's not going to be closeness. If you already know that you're going to break up with him, there's not going to be closeness. The one thinw you want wouldn't be there. All that would happen would be that you're using each other for getting off. A slightly more elaborate form of masturbation, you might say. And even if the getting off would be pleasurable, you know you would feel guilty for not making it more special afterwards.

You're a nice guy, you deserve better than that. And you will get something better than that!

Now, as the above posters said (regardless of how classy it is to say out loud ), masturbation is your friend here. If necessary multiple times, and sometimes varying the method.
What always helped for me was to just write about what I'd wantr to do. The things I wrote were devoid of any class or style and just pure smut, basically (in fact, I usually destroyed it as soon as I'd written it and read it a few times). But it helped a lot at the time.

 

I completly with Maddy and Filip : if you boyfriend is emotionnaly abusive, loosing your vinrginity with him is really not a good idea.
I completly understand that you have an important sex drive, most teenagers do. But your first time is too important for you to waste it with someone who is abusive. The risk is that not only you won't get what you want, the emotionnal closeness and the feeling to be able to give yourself completly, but also that you ended up feeling really bad for wasted your virginity with the wrong person.
Discovering sex is not something casual. It's one of the moment of your life where you are the most vulnerable. You need to be with someone you can trust completly and cho cares about you, otherwise, you'll might regret it deeply.

Take care, Eleanor

 

Yeah, avoid sex if you're going to break up with him anyway. It will only make extricating yourself from the relationship all that much more difficult.... and it may also leave you with a subconscious association that sex, abuse, and lack of emotional intimacy go together. There's a saying that you may not remember every time you have sex, but you always remember your first time. So having your first time associated with all that baggage probably isn't a great idea.

 

get a dildo, watch some porn, masturbate. don't give it to some total asshole.

 

Believe me, it might seem like the right thing to do from your frame of mind - I know exactly how you feel. But you'll wake up the next morning and go "OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD"

And you'll regret it for a *very* long time. Because you'll realise that all it really turned out to be was a somewhat painful, emotionless, tedious and sticky fumbling. I'm a virgin too, but my first kiss went a similar way. So I'm not letting my *real* virginity go down that path too. Seriously, wait for someone worthwhile. You'll enjoy it a whole lot more and thank yourself later down the line for waiting.

 

DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM! It will be the biggest mistake of your life. He's obviously an asshole, so he won't give you that closeness you crave. I've been there and trust me, it doesn't end well. Do not let yourself get hurt just because your horny, sex is not at all what it is cracked up to be. Wait for someone you know you really care about, otherwise just whack off or something to keep your urges at bay, like a few other people stated.

 

If you dont like him then you shouldnt be with him! losing virgintiy is not important, you should do it with a good guy whenever your ready. Dont rush over some one you dont like.

 

if he is hurt you in an way dump his butt on the curve, he willl keep hurting you if he can not see that you are a great person. you should be with a person who cares about you in every way, losing your virgintiy should be near the last thing on the list while dating

 

You recognise what needs to be done.

Dump him; take care of things yourself, for a bit.

I doubt you'll have trouble finding someone else who can be there for you emotionally and physically.