ok so i just got a boyfriend and i kinda want your opinions on it. he's a junior, i'm a freshman. he's not a virgin and he's the first guy i've been with. he's really sweet but i feel like he might want more than i'm comfortable giving him. but i don't want to be a bitch and break it off, or lead him on and then break it off because i'm scared. but honestly i want a real relationship, not just hooking up, making out and having sex. what do you guy think i should do?:help:
i ag4ree you need to talk to him ask him what he wants from this relationship.... communication, honesty, trust are the 3 most important thigns in a relationship after love.... i think your beeing very mature by expressing how you want a relationship and not just a fling...most guys your age wouldent and thats cool he might be thinking all teh same things you are though and jsut because doesent mean hes not a vigin taht thats all hes after his past experiences might not of been great and he too might be insecure and not know where he stands in this... as for age like teh title say s well i doubt your far between ages so meh aslong as your both loving and careful and safe then alls good... so all you got to do is talk ot him good luck
No reason to break up without having a conversation. Just be honest that you are not ready to have sex and may not be for quite a while. If sex is the main thing he's after, he will either break up with you or start putting on the pressure for you to be sexual with him. If he genuinely likes you and wants a bf, not a sex partner, then he will understand and be caring and thoughtful about your concerns. Once you've seen how he handles the information, you should have no trouble figuring out what to do next
Since this is your first relationship, there's going to be a lot of learning going on. And one of the biggest and best lessons to learn right off the bat is "you can't always tell what your boyfriend wants/needs/likes/is thinking. If you want to know, ask. You might not get all the information you want or need by asking, but you'll certainly get a much clearer picture." So ask. Tell him your concerns. Tell him you're not interested in getting totally physical right now, and you worry that he might be expecting that to be on the agenda. It'll be an uncomfortable conversation - the first ones are especially so - but you may as well start getting the experience in now. Lex
I agree with what everyone has said so far. With the age thing, I think there may be some issues but I don't think its really that big of a problem. (Although I'm not sure how old a junior actually is.) I think he would understand that he is the first guy you have been with and may not be ready to do certain things. Everyone has been in that situation at some point in their life. As everyone has said, the best thing to do is to be open and honest about what you are feeling, because if you don't tell him then he may not know, just as you won't know what he is feeling without asking.
I don't think the age difference itself is an issue. But the communication is. You need to talk to him, tell him that, make sure you understand each other. My speech teacher once told us that 2/3 of relationships end because of lack of communication. (I don't actually remember the statistic. But it was quite significant. So talk to him )
Hi there! Yep! I agree with the above posters. Communication and honesty are really important in any relationship. The more open you are about your concerns and what you would like out of that relationship the more you also give him a chance to respond and to understand from where you are coming from. As it was said, above, I don't think you need to start worrying about breaking up. Give the relationship a chance by being open and letting him know with what you are comfortable and with what you are not. As Lex said, it doesn't make for an easy conversation but the earlier you start in communicating your concerns and what you are looking for, the better it will be.
