You could show him the website for Truth Wins Out. There's actually a thread on that on another one of the forums here (I think the Chit Chat one) that has stories from people who used to be Ex-Gay but came to the realization that it was all a sham and are living much happier and better lives authentically. Otherwise, he's going to have to figure it out for himself. Generally, Ex-Gays have something in their past that has made them want to suppress their gay side at all costs, so he is probably in a situation where someone around him - a parent, friend, or colleague - is disapproving of gay people, so he feels the need to suppress or remove that part of himself in order to gain their approval. Sadly, it's probably not going to work. Rather than ending up at the same place he was at beforehand with a lot of wasted time and effort and emotional baggage, he should try to work towards acceptance instead.
You can be there for him, but you have to accept him identifying as ex gay no matter what, (even if there's evidence to the contrary) until he chooses otherwise. You can't do anything else to make him acknowledge/accept/identify/etc as gay if he doesn't want to or is not ready to.
It's tough. I don't think there's a lot you can do except to be unconditionally supportive, and tell him it's fine with him whether he's gay or straight, as long as he is happy and in integrity with himself (i.e., acting on what he feels/believes.) Most of these Exodus grads end up eventually figuring out it was all a bunch of shit, but sometimes it takes a few years. So just be there for him, be his friend, and don't judge him... that's the best way you can help him.
I would suggest as others have put on here is to be there as a friend for him. Anyway I created a thread about the ex gay movement. All the time I was there I never met anyone that was cured from homosexuality.
the word 'cured' makes homosexuality sound like a disease, and that is something that no one here wants. I would suggest like the others, that you continue to be there for him, don't openly criticise him for this, but don't let him think that it is ok either. Good friends are there for us when we need them, but they also call us on our crap.
1. You can't be an "ex-gay" 2. There's no such thing as being an "ex-gay" who still "does do gay things." One or the other, can't be both. But really, all that you can do is be there for him. Show that you are supportive of him and behind him, even if you necessarily do not completely agree with what he's doing. Maybe direct him to a few supportive websites, like this one or the one mentioned a few posts above this. He is sure to be confused if he's gone so far as getting declared as an "ex-gay." So, again.. just be a shoulder for him to lean on, talk with him if he needs to talk, but don't push him. Pushing him will only make the situation worse. Clearly he is still figuring things out, so the best thing for you to do would be a friendly ear, let him come to you if he feels he needs to, and support him during this process.
