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So, I think my mom knows...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MissMoony, Oct 3, 2009.

  1. MissMoony

    MissMoony Guest

    I've come out to a few friends over the past couple of years; sometimes after being directly asked about my sexuality and sometimes just through wanting to be honest with that person because we were so close. It's finally hit me that the people I'm closest with, I am avoiding coming out to: my family. I've talked to my grandmother a LITTLE bit about the situation, but I really dodged all of the issues and let her end the conversation thinking that I was "confused."

    My mom is my main concern now. She knows that I have a fascination with LGBT people in history and the media, she sees me watching the LOGO channel, etc. We even talk about a gay man that she knew growing up and a guy at my school that everyone seems to suspect of being gay. Throughout these many conversations, she's emphasized that while she still sees homosexuality as a sin (I was raised in a Missionary Baptist church), she would still completely love, trust, and accept someone in the family if they were to come out. Because of this, and because I am feeling ready to stop hiding from her, I think it might be time to come out to her.

    I guess what I'm looking for is a prediction on the sort of reaction I might get and, mostly, how to work up the courage and how to approach the topic without beating around the bush or making her guess at it.

    Thanks :grin:
    Moony (Lauren)
     
  2. Greggers

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    She knows :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Tell her.

    Its like if i wanted a new iPod for Christmas and i went up to my mother and said "You know, if someone were to buy me an iPod for Christmas i might just love them so much i would shower them with hugs and kisses."

    I think she would get the hint i want an iPod...
     
  3. Gaetan

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    Yeah, she knows. And remind her that being gay is as much of a sin as eating shrimp.
     
  4. MissMoony

    MissMoony Guest

    :grin: See, that's what I've been telling myself. That she knows already, so why not go ahead and say it? It's just the fear of actually saying it to her. It was hard enough with a lot of my friends.

    And I do mention a lot of the little-obeyed rules in the Old Testament :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: It upsets her, but I think she gets the point.
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! From what you have mentioned, I think it should be okay. In effect, she already told you explicitly that she would be accepting and supportive, despite her religious views. It doesn't get better than this! :slight_smile:

    Coming out to your mum or any family member for that matter is difficult, but remind yourself that your mum would be supportive. Remind yourself of the many conversations where she told you

    Try to find a good time, i.e. when she is not too busy and has some time to listen to you. Maybe write everything out that you want to tell her. This might help you to organize your thoughts a bit which in turn might help you to feel a bit more at ease. Before start talking, take a deep breath and remind yourself that things will be fine.

    Alternatively, you can also write her a letter and leave it for her to read.

    Hope this helps a bit!
     
  6. MissMoony

    MissMoony Guest

    Wow, what great advice! Thanks, it's calmed me down a lot and made me think about the fact that she's my mom and she really loves me. Hopefully, I'll succeed in telling her soon.
     
  7. malachite

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    Yeah, Mom's are pretty perceptive...
     
  8. beckyg

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    Religious views can be changed. After you decide to come out to her, sit down and watch For the Bible Tells Me So with her. It's very informative. It sounds like she'll be okay and probably already knows.
     
  9. MissMoony

    MissMoony Guest

    Told my mom AND my dad today. Never felt such a great weight fall off my shoulders in my life. I love them so much and I just kept thanking them over and over for being so amazing.
     
  10. guacj

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    It seems like to me she already knows and that is her way of telling you that and that it is ok. She has more or less already shown you approval and support and is wanting you to know that.
     
  11. Gaetan

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    Yay! Congratulations! :thumbsup:
    Glad it went well!
     
  12. Yay! Congrats! What did they say? (*hug*)
     
  13. MissMoony

    MissMoony Guest

    Mum told me that she was behind me all the way, but it would take her a while to be comfortable about it...just some time to adapt. She said her only worry with it, and the only reason she's upset, is that she's worried about my life and if it will be hard because of the attitudes of other people.
    Dad was actually angry with me for thinking he would be upset. He made me get out of the car and hug him and he spent fifteen minutes telling me that his whole purpose in the world was to be there for me. Direct quote: I'd die for you, and go through hell, to make sure that you were safe and happy.
    I don't know, I'm just so happy that they're okay, and that I'm okay, and that no one is having a breakdown.
     
  14. SilhouetteDream

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    Oh my gosh that's so sweet, especially what your dad said!!!!
    Congrats, I'm happy for you! :grin:
     
  15. Beachboi92

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    grats its so nice your family is like that i would kill for a dad like that especially one that would switch up on the religious views (*hug*)
     
  16. Mirko

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    Congratulations! I'm happy for you that you could come out to her and that everything turned out so well. Awesome! :slight_smile:
     
  17. RaeofLite

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    Wow... you are so freaking lucky to have a great, supportive reaction like that. I didn't hear anything similar to things like that till months later.
     
  18. Cynic

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    Congrats, your parents took it in a very well-mannered way.
     
  19. MissMoony

    MissMoony Guest

    I know, I am so ridiculously thankful that it's not even funny. Even while they were talking and saying all those things I was just in a state of disbelief...I just kept thanking them and crying and telling them I loved them. I feel so blessed to have parents who are so focused on my happiness and well-being. And thanks for all the support here, you guys! I've only been here a few days, but bumping around the boards and seeing that people CAN be out, and be happier and more free, really pushed me past my last doubts.
     
  20. werekid

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    moms are weird like that oh and yeah she's knows