Thought I was making some progress but now I just want to hide under a rock. : (

(*hug*)

Hang in there. Life itself isn't easy. With the queer factor added... it gets more tough. :S But hey, one day you'll look back on this and laugh. You'll have your own place, your own partner (male or female in your case), a job and life'll be ok. You're still fairly young. The world is your oster.

 

it gets better don't worry you just have to remember there is nothing wrong with who you are and you are who you are. Don't hate yourself part of being LGBT is dealing with the issues we all deal with. What would really help you is finding a GSA or something like that or just finding someone to talk to about your issues.

I know exactly how you feel i went through the same thing forever and it is terrible but there is nothing you can do you just have to accept and be happy for who you are for whatever reasons. It is not your fault that there are these issues. There are people out there on your side and honestly the more out you are the easier it is to find them Feel free to PM me any time about any issues your dealing with and don't worry it always gets better

 

This is a hard time in your life. I didn't even start coming out until a month before I turned 23. I had all of the same feelings that you do now. I went through years of denial and wanting it to all go away. One thing that you will realize one day is that this doesn't define you it is who you are. Once you come to terms with this you can really start coming out, and this huge weight will be lifted off of your shoulders.

 

I'm sorry that your sexuality is such a big source of problems for you, and especially that one of your coming-outs was bad. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

Have you ever had any nice talks about your sexuality? How did your first coming-out go?

Do you think it would be better if you were out, simply because you wouldn't have to hide who you are, or are you in a community or area where that would just cause more problems?

 

Well, if you ever want to talk, you know you can always talk to us. (*hug*)

 

There have been many nights while growing up that I've sat up, awake at night thinking about it. I'm still at the point where I resent being gay. I never asked for this; I never wanted any of this endless uncertainty just below the surface.

More recently, I remind myself that I also didn't ask for anything else about myself. It's just how I am; nothing I can say or do will change that. In the month since I came out to myself, I've let myself stare at who I wanted without letting myself feel guilty about it. That's just one thing I've been trying to do as I get used to being in my own skin.

...But most of all, simply talking on and reading this forum has really helped me. I hope it can do the same for you.

 

Dont blame yourself, its not your fault. From what your saying it sounds like the common factor of your problems comes not from your sexuality but how other people react to it. It seems that you acknowledge that its there and that its been there for a while. You cant change what others think in a instance but you can change the way you feel about yourself. I'm not saying to play the blame game but know where the tension and irritability lies, not with you and being bi but other people not understanding it and taking it as a joke.

Comming out doesnt seem like a wise option now given your grievences at the moment. Know that people come in and out...and sometimes back in to your life. Let the people comming in be accepting souls and let those going out, go out for the reason to better themselves if they wish to come back into your life.

Let your wounds be wounds for now but know that later in life they will be a sense of pride. Hopfully you can look back and say "I went through this, I know I can go through that." Not trying to glorify it but use this situation to your advantage and dont let it wear you down.

 

I agree with the others coming out now would not be the best option for you. You cannot come out until you accept who you are and come out to yourself. We are all here to help and hopefully you can learn to accept yourself through our stories and experiences. This is not something that you have to do today or tomorrow. Take as much time as you need to sort everything out.