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I can't fall for a gay guy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jekko, Oct 6, 2009.

  1. Jekko

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    So, lately and....ALWAYS i have been contemplating that all the guys that i ever was and am attracted to are straight. I have never never EVER fallen for a gay guy let alone a feminine gay guy. As a result, this is troubling me.........

    Even now more than ever seeing as at the moment i'm crushing on this guy who is a friend and who is most likely straight 85%
     
  2. Cynic

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    To be honest you can't be too sure of a certain person's sexuality unless they come right out and tell you, so unless you're asserting that you've known gay guys before and haven't fallen for them, you're already making the assumption that your past crushes were not gay. Unfortunately we're not all named Derren Brown and aren't psychic or telekinetic, so basically what I'm trying to say is that you really can't be too sure.

    You never know, one day you could hit the jackpot(I'm wondering if that's a pun or not). As for the person you're developing a crush on now, you could ask him certain questions. I'm not saying to walk right up to him, put your hands on your hips and ask "Are you Gay/Bi", but subliminally ask things that could be related to LGBT, I dunno.

    Although I'm probably rambling here and aren't helping you at all, in that case sorry. V:
     
    #2 Cynic, Oct 6, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2009
  3. Just Adam

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    dont judge someones sexuality based on tehir apearance or the way they act.... you can act very stereotypically straight apart from humping women with your eyes and still be gay ... talk to people get to know thema little thats usually a better way :slight_smile:

    you dont know your friends sexuality so theres allways hope and not all gay/bi guys are fem people are people with lots of variation. :slight_smile:
     
  4. drake86

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    Jekko,

    I feel like I have the same problem. For whatever reason when I see gay guys I dont find my self as atracted to them as straight guys. Maybe it's that the grass is always greener on the other side I dont know. I have only come out to one person so it's not like I have put my self out there but I know where you're coming from.
     
  5. Phoenix

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    You mean telepathic. Telekinetic means moving things with your mind, which doesn't help at all in discerning the sexuality of others. But I like the rest of what you said and that's why I'm quoting it. You can't really know what sexuality someone is unless they tell you. So some of your past straight guy crushes may have been gay you just might not have known it (or they might not have known it themselves yet).
     
  6. kizza111

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    awwh! sorry to hear that, i personally LOVE gay/camp guys :grin:

    not all gays are like that, so dont worry u will find one tht suits u :slight_smile:
     
  7. Cynic

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    Oh, my bad then. I used to think they meant the same thing, apparently not. :lol:
     
  8. kramer362

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    The catch 22 is that you wanna find the gay guys who you can't 'tell' are gay by looking at them. No one assumes a real masculine guy is gay but you know they're out there... and I have the same problem though, being only attracted to masculine guys. It is what it is, we'll find someone eventually :confused:
     
  9. Jekko

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    Well it's nice to know i'm not the only guy who falls for straights... anyway i haven't been here lately and well today was a funny day

    there's this guy in my psych class who i find to be very cute. Well today before class i went to the restroom took a piist and looked and the mirror. I opened the door of the restroom as hard as i could (to test my strength) to leave and i hit the guy!!! when i opened the door!! lmaoooo he like stumbled and i'm like 0_Ooo SRY! and he's like it's alright and .... the worst part..... was a girl was with him and she was giggling afer i hit him and then on purpose that girl grabbed his bUTTT! wtf! and i was like right behind them going to class........ i'm like, "w/e" ...

    See ^^^^ i always fall for straight guys :frowning2:. but then he sat next to me in class aand we started talking so it's all good. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:



    PS: FOr all of you who say i can't be too sure sum1 isn't gay... well.... my gaydar never fails!

    It's just so hard.... especially since i'm masc and not an out person and especially cause i like straigt guys :frowning2:
     
    #9 Jekko, Oct 20, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2009
  10. Greggers

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    Lets just set the record straight (dont mind the pun)

    A guy is heterosexual.

    What can we learn about the guy from that sentence? Can we say "He likes sports." or "He has a deep voice." or "He likes action films."? No. We cannot take these interpretations out of the word heterosexual. We can only take one thing from it: He likes women. There is such a vast variety of different types of heterosexual men that range from Extreme masucline acting to Extreme feminine acting and everything in between.

    A guy is homosexual.

    What can we learn about the guy from that sentance? Can we say "He likes fashion." or "He is into musicals." or "He has a lisp."? No. We cannot take these interpretations out of the word homosexual. We can only take one thing from it: He likes men. There is such a vast variety of different types of homosexual men that range from Extreme masucline acting to Extreme feminine acting and everything in between.

    What do we take from this?

    Whatever type of guy your into, you will find a gay guy who fits that description. If you fall for the stereotypical "manly man" you see all over the media you can find a guy who likes other guys who also fits that stereotype. Saying "I only fall for straight guys" implies you are attracted to the FACT they like women. If thats actually the case and you like guys who like women, you may need some therapy. Most likely though, you only think you like straight guys because your getting more out of that word than really exists.

    /end of lesson
     
  11. Camman3

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    Bravo; Brava :eusa_clap

    I guess what he was trying to say was that he keeps falling for masculine (straight-acting) men who wouldn't want to disclose their sexuality as "gay".

    Or (did you consider this), the guys he has been meeting at his university/college have been kissing/sleeping around with women?
     
  12. Meropspusillus

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    Neat! I can shoot fire out of my eyes. We should get together and form a super team!
     
  13. lostinthought9

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    ^LOL.

    Anyways, Jekko, I know how you feel. I cannot recall falling for a gay guy before, unless that person was in the closet, which I doubt...Anyways, I know I'm not helping you, but I'm just letting you know, you're not alone. :slight_smile:
    I fall for manly-men too...
     
  14. KewrtEchavers

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    Im new to this thing but yea its realli crazy Im also kinda attracted to "straight" men and mainly no offense but the reason is that feminine guys tend to show that they are weak and they are sometimes not confident and what I realli want is a confident and outspoken guy
     
  15. Maddy

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    You can't fall for a gay guy, or you so far have not fallen for a guy who, based on stereotypes and gut feelings, you assume is gay?
     
  16. Jekko

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    ^ YEs maddy you're right and Greggers thanks for clearing that up!!!!! but the title of my topic is hence , "I CAN'T FALL FOR A GAY GUY" meaning that i really can't. And to clear things up more
    NO i'm not attracted to the fact that the straight guy likes girls. I am attracted to masc guys, whome so far have all been straight. I hate gay lisp and it just turns me the heelll off.. and i'm sry for those of you here who have it.

    All in all i'm attracted to the cliche stereotype of what defines a "masc/sportive//confident/etc." & whome is not a "fagggot stereotype" ex, "omg, gay lisp, hairs, fashionista" type of guy


    Anyway, there'ss this other skater guy in my class whome is obvious gay who kept staring at me in class today, (see we both sat in a bus on our way home last week) and i dunno if it's because of that or something else. The point is, his femininity is a huge turn off. And i have yet to fall for a gay guy! :frowning2: I mean comeon im 19! 19 years and i have yet too be with a guy!? I can't believe i've been in 3 relationships all whome have been girls.


    what the helll do i do!?
     
    #16 Jekko, Oct 20, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2009
  17. Greggers

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    Understandable and fine. Not everyone can or should like the same thing, that would make for one boring world. As long as you dont hold some kind of bitter resentment or anger towards effeminate men you will avoid most of my rants :slight_smile:

    Just know however, most gay guys are not effeminate. Most fall into other categories like, for example, sporty and masculine. The problem is when your effeminate and gay its easier to come out because its harder to hide. Many of the other gay guys, the ones you like, are going to be largely closeted until later in life. Why? Vise Versa of the effeminate guys. They find it easy to hide, and if its easier to hide it why come out. But of course not every guy like that will stay closeted. You just keep your eyes open and look for the little signs :slight_smile: Im sure you will find just what your looking for eventually.
     
  18. Jekko

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    ^^^^^^^ Man don't get these hopes up ....... If any of those straight guys are actually closeted..... well that'd be the day. Time is painful.
     
  19. Maddy

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    And there are plenty of gay guys like that out there. You just don't spot them because you look at them and think "they're masculine, they must be straight". If you see a typically effeminate guy on the street you tend to think "he must be gay", while if you see a typically masculine guy you tend to think "he's straight", which leads you to believe "all gay guys are effeminate", when that's not the case - mybe the most obviously gay guys are more effeminate, but the more masculine gay guys fly under the radar because of stereotypes and assumptions.

    I'm 19. I've never been in a relationship, guy or girl. No law states that you have to have been in a same-sex relationship by a certain age - some people find their first boyfriend at 13, others not until way later on in life.
     
  20. Greggers

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    10% at least of the population is not-so-straight. Chances are, one or two of the *cough* "straight" guys is not so straight.

    Again though, just because deep inside someone is not straight doesn't mean they will hook up with you :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: They could be DEEPLY closeted and not even realize it on a conscious level because its been pushed so far back. Or they could want a femmy guy :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: who knows.