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Denied donating...forever

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by NickT, Oct 9, 2009.

  1. NickT

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    So...I tried to donate blood today during school. I'm excited (and a little creeped out; hospital beds in a dimly lit theater? Scary!), and I answer everything honestly...including the question asking if I had had sex with a guy, even once.

    I figured they'd deny me, but I always assumed I'd be told, "You're going to have to wait x many months/years before you can donate. Sorry!" I would've been a little miffed, but I would've let that slide.

    Instead...I had to sign my name saying that I'm now on the permanent deferral list. I can never give blood. I honestly didn't see this coming; I thought this was only reserved for people who were PROVEN to have HIV/AIDS/etc.

    I'm just...depressed. The thought of me never being able to give my blood to help someone...I need some help v.v
     
  2. Phoenix

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    Unfortunately, they defer every male who's had sex with another male even once. It's an archaic, outdated, and witch hunt-esque policy but that's how they do it. The months/years deferral is just for slutty heterosexuals. Apparently they get magically absolved after a certain time period, but gay people don't. I wish there was a way to console you, but I'm not sure there is.
     
  3. s5m1

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    There is nothing you can do. It is a rule that they have no flexibility on. I used to give, as well, but can no longer do so. Since it is beyond your control, try not to dwell on it and get depressed. It will not change anything. It certainly was not your choice.
     
  4. Just Adam

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    i say dont worry about it jsut say its their loss... its your blood hang on to it...
     
  5. xequar

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    Uugh, I remember when I got hit with the "Indefinite Deferral"... It pisses me off that you can shoot up with drugs and fuck opposite-sex prostitutes and only get a year's deferral, but if you're gay, then BAMMO! You're out. When I got hit with my indefinite deferral, I was mostly hoping for a six-months deferral so that they'd stop calling me every three months like clockwork. Well, I guess I got what I wanted in a roundabout way.

    You can thank the useless piece of shit and one of the worst presidents the United States of America and the world have had the displeasure of having: Ronald fucking Reagan. He and his homophobic administration decided that, as AIDS was becoming an epidemic and still heavily centered in the gay communities, it would be a lot easier to just ban gays and demonize us rather than address the real issues of transmission, which had already begun to be figured out by then. George W. Bush's administration also played a role, as in 2003, the Red Cross was going to overturn the policy, but Dubya's goons stepped in and overruled.


    Short version-it's a stupid policy that no longer has any kernel, however contrived, of plausibility or credibility.
     
  6. Filip

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    Yeah, unfortunately it's something the red cross doesn't compromise on. Even if there are a lot of groups that have equal risk, but they do get magically less risky after a few months of acting safe :rolleyes:
    I plan on giving them blood as long as I am allowed, and then just stop without ever going in to get deferred.

    I'm pretty sure that in the end they'll give in and see how stupid they were. In the meantime, don't sweat it. If you really want to, there are ways in which you could maybevolounteer for other organisations and help in that way!

    Funny story: the Belgian red cross recruited a few famous people as mascots to promote blood donations. One of them recently came out as gay. Meaning he can't give blood. Now hey have a mascot for blood donation that can't give blood. Embarrassing situation for them :badgrin:
     
  7. Gaetan

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    Every time the groups come to my college campus, I'm too busy to stop in and donate. I've always wanted to, and I might as well do it a few times before I can't. I don't even know what blood type I am, and that's one thing I really would like to know.
     
  8. malachite

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    I know it can seem frustrating, but there is a high risk of Hepititis amoung gay men. You need to remember your blood is going to sick people. The medical field is held responsible if any infected blood gets out there, so you can't blame them for being cautious. They're not doing this is single you out and make you bad, they are doing it to protect themselves from lawsuites.
     
  9. donnie5

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    that's ridiculous though, there's a high risk of hepatitis among straight people too!! and aids, and herpes, and everything else!! that's no excuse and it doesn't matter there NOT putting themselves at risk for a lawsuit seeing as the thoroughly test all the blood they get.
    It's singling out a minority group of people who are wrongly accused of being dirty and disease ridden by asshole politicians!! it makes me sad that red cross will be low on blood and begging for some to help people, yet they turn down perfectly clean healthy gay men purely on prejudice.
     
  10. Chip

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    I know a lot of gay men that simply lie.

    Not saying that I condone it, but if, for example, you haven't had sex for 2 or 3 years, have not done so since, have not used IV drugs or engaged in any other risky behaviors, and have been tested nonreactive for any STIs, it's ridiculous to say that you are higher risk than Joe or Jane Hetero who has had sex with 20 different people in the past month. Red Cross tests all the blood it receives anyway, so the whole thing is simply ridiculous and discriminatory.

    I wonder what would happen if 1000 or 5000 gay men got together and agreed to get tested and then to give blood all across the country over the same 5 day period, and then, afterwards, made a major public announcement that there were now 5000+ units of blood in the system from gay men? The Red Cross would be forced to make a statement that its blood is all screened and tested, and there's no risk or worry about the safety of the blood supply... and once they did that, they'd completely lose any rational argument for keeping gay men out of the donation system.
     
  11. Jack2009

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    Whatever is whatever. If they don't want it's their lost.

    I'm a virgin, so I can do it till I lose it.
     
  12. Just Adam

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    and once you lose it you cant do it haha :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  13. donnie5

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    wonderful idea that last bit
     
  14. malachite

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    So, I guess, in your eyes, no one with a penis should be allowed to donate?

    :sleep:
     
  15. donnie5

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    no in my eyes everyone should be able to donate then it should all be tested (which it is anyway) and then they could stop kicking gay people out the door
     
    #15 donnie5, Oct 9, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  16. gaz83

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    mad thing is that hosptals are screaming out for blood. ud think they should just accept everyone, test them then if its bad dont use it. bet there would be more lives saved in the long run.
     
  17. donnie5

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    see that right there is ridiculous!! they won't get over there homophobia to save people lives
     
  18. gaz83

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    your more than likly rite there too. just shows the state of the world we live in.
     
  19. Kenko

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    Don't know how it works in the US, but in Canada there's a secret rejection barcode sticker you can stick on the form which when they process it, basically says "don't use this unit". It can be used if you don't feel comfortable telling the truth during the screening. They don't find out until they go to test the unit.

    So basically you get to waste resources, clog up the blood system with perfectly good units of blood which they must throw out.

    I wonder what would happen if thousands of gay men got together and "lied" during the screening, used this secret rejection sticker, and donated blood. Blood organizations are always talking about not enough donations. What would they say if suddenly they got enough donations, that tested fine, but they had to throw away.
     
  20. Derek the Wolf

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    This is why on paper I'm still a virgin.