A Looooooooooong Time Crush

I'm not meaning to brag at all, just looking to help. In fact since being in Ohio, quitting weed, I haven't really hung out with much of anyone, so most of what I'm saying only applies in Pittsburgh.

Well, when I go to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh I am quite popular, I have too many friends that come up to me to deal with. Like.. I'll be talking to one and three more will come over, all from different clicks, and I have trouble finding out which one to talk to, and I feel bad not being able to talk to all of them. I pretty much have to juggle, it's crazy. I try to go to a lot of events and... *unfortunately** there's a damn good chance I'll get drunk at them (but not too drunk). I also have a sense of style and dress, yet I am not femme. So anyways to the advice...

He will likely, if he is as popular as you say he is, be welcome to hanging out with you, so don't be afraid to approach him. Anyone who knows me knows that I can usually be found on the smoke deck at school. If I'm alone or with just one other person, I wouldn't mind if one of my friends walked up and just started talking. But if I have a group of two or three or four friends around me that I am actively engaging, prepare to get the cold shoulder. Juggling is hard enough without that extra person. Don't hope that he will one day walk up to you and talk to you out of the blue, because being popular there really is no reason he would do this. In conversation try to stay away from bullshit. Talk about something that is meaningful either to him or yourself. Listen to what he has to say and try to work with that, he will appreciate your attempt to know him better. Find something you have in common and run with it. If he is non-femme then femme will likely turn him off. If you are femme yourself, then you may have to supress that side of yourself, and if you don't want to then I would suggest just giving up already. You say he gets drunk at events, yet you say it as if it were a bad thing. He is merely enjoying the spice of life. If you speak negatively of his drinking habit he won't appreciate that much. Don't seem desperate, or lead on that he's the only thing on your mind. I would suggest asking him out to the movies, after all, who doesn't want to go see a movie. If you know somewhat about what he likes, you could pick a movie he would be interested in and wouldn't mind spending the time to go see. For me it was Terminator 4. You could take the low road and make it a "friend movie thing" or you could gather the courage to ask him to a solo date to the movies. Personally I like to deal with people on a more personal level, and I would find someone more attractive if they asked me out on a personal date, rather than a date with friends. It shows confidence which is pretty attractive. Once you meet up with him, set up a time, a place, and something to do. Be pro-active. He will enjoy the attention, though he may not be calling you to show that he enjoys it. Face it, there's lots of friends he already has who are higher on his list of priorities to hang out with. If you call him, or talk to him in person, and make plans in advance, he will simply not make plans with other friends that day, and you will move to the top of his list.

You MUST take initiative. Like you said you haven't seen him this year. My second crush in high school actually killed himself before I could make a move. I regret it even to this day, some eight years later, that I never approached him. We were friends, but I never mustered up the courage to ask him out, even though I truly believed he could be bi/gay (only one person was out in our high school, and it wasn't me). Now I will never know what could have been. Don't put yourself in that situation. Either approach him individually, or find a mutual friend and set something up, or find him at one of the events. You say you think you're trying too hard, but if you want it, go for it. He may disappear before you get the chance, and like I said, you don't want to live with that regret. Perhaps you could try talking to Ash, and seeing if she could help you out. Chance are she has already told him about your crush, which is actually a good thing.

Anyways I wish you luck, keep us posted!
-D