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This is Beyond Embarassing...and Concerning

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Revan, Oct 11, 2009.

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  1. Revan

    Revan
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    So I hope no one will judge me but since Friday, some a-hole has been kind of threatening me. I'm going to include the messages below, but I want people's opinions if he's just being a dick, and a self-hating gay and just trying to rile me up, or if he might be serious.

    So yeah, um do you think he's just trying to rile me up or something else? And I'm only telling you because I'm not sure I can really report it to the police as I'm still in the closet with my parents as it is......

    And again, please don't judge me....because I know no one on here is the judgmental type.
     
    #1 Revan, Oct 11, 2009
  2. Lexington

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    Well, to a degree, he has a point. Nothing can stop him from sending the pictures to your parents, your grandparents, your boss, your best friend, anybody. It's not against the law.

    But there's some missing information here. If he thinks "faggots" taking naked pictures of themselves and posting them online is so disgusting, why the hell does he go to websites where such pictures are? To see if he recognizes them? So he can out them if they're not out yet?

    My gut feeling is that if he wanted to do this to you, he would have. He would've sent the pictures to your parents AND you, with a note "Here's what your son is doing". Instead, he's taunting you with the knowledge that he has the pics, he knows your parents, and he could e-mail them to them anytime he wants. In short, yes, he wants you to be scared, to worry, to fret. This doesn't mean he definitely WON'T do it, but he certainly wants you to freak out more than anything else.

    What do you do? Stop talking to him. Send him a "whatever", block that contact, and move on. Oh, and henceforth, keep your face out of your naughty pix, OK? :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #2 Lexington, Oct 11, 2009
  3. Jack2009

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    He sounds like he's gay but a gay who hates himself or a homophobic or a freak that you better watch out for.

    Why would anyone be looking for your pictures on the Internet that's stalkerish. I be afraid for personal safety than parents finding out.
     
    #3 Jack2009, Oct 11, 2009
  4. stratavos

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    ... some straight people are just as twisted. anyways, uh, ha... Lex stole my thunder >.<;

    if you want to beat him to it, then there won't be anything all that shocking about the peice, or you could tell your parents that they might get a disturbing e-mail from said e-mail address and that they are to delete it on sight because that person has been harassing you and as a measure to further torture you mentally he might send them an e-mail ^.^; ?
     
    #4 stratavos, Oct 11, 2009
  5. revolutionrock

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    I would definitely discuss it with your parents if it is a legitimate concern. Even if they aren't stoked about it, I bet they'd be 10x less thrilled to get sexy pictures of you. And stop talking to this weirdo, there is probably no use reasoning with him.

    Good luck!
     
    #5 revolutionrock, Oct 11, 2009
  6. Revan

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    Well until something shows at my front door, I'm really not going to worry about it. I think he's just a disturbed young man who has too much time on his hands.
     
    #6 Revan, Oct 12, 2009
  7. Filip

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    I'd say the same as Lex here: if he really just wanted to send the pics, he would have sent them. But now he's just using them to taunt you and play games and feel like he's in control. And by engaging in this back-and-forth with him, you're giving him exactly what he wants.

    So don't keep arguing! Never argue with idiots! They'll drag you down to your level and beat you on experience.

    Probably, if he sees you're not responding anymore, he'll give up anyway. He could then send the pics, of course, but that would also deprive him of the leverage he has.
    And even if he sends them, there will be embarrassment and maybe some things to explain, but IMHO that's better than being stalked and threatened.
     
    #7 Filip, Oct 12, 2009
  8. xballetxbeautyx

    xballetxbeautyx Guest

    Do you know this guy, or does he just randomly know where you live and where your grandparents live and whatever? Cause I find that more concerning than the pictures.
     
    #8 xballetxbeautyx, Oct 12, 2009
  9. Revan

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    I don't know the guy at all. And I don't really know how he knows where I live. I think when I first e-mailed him my last name was on the e-mail. But I told him that was in memory of my father and told him some other name. So that might have thrown him off. I think he only knew about my grandfather's street because if you type in the last name on Canada411.ca it is the listing that's on there. I sort of wish I had never e-mailed him cuz then he wouldn't have gotten my last name. But hopefully he actually believed me when i said it's not my parents last name. Just so you all know, X is my actual last name, I told him Y which is the last name of my bio father so he thinks Y is my real last name which it isn't. So yeah hopefully I've confused him but whatever... I haven't heard from him since yesterday so I think he might have given up, I don't know.
     
    #9 Revan, Oct 12, 2009
  10. Revan

    Revan
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    So I think I might have found out, why me. I think I just found him on a site I go to read ...erotic fiction and someone with his name as his username had messgaed me before and I turned him down. So I think he's bullying me juist bcuz I turned him down -_- he's 40 tho and just wanted sex so its kinda like, dude...u serious?
     
    #10 Revan, Oct 14, 2009
  11. xequar

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    "Wow, you've saved some pics, and you seem pretty obsessed with them. Here's a bit more. I know you'll enjoy them." And then send him some shots (no face).
     
    #11 xequar, Oct 14, 2009
  12. Revan

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    Meh see the thing is, well, I think you guys were right all along. He messaged me Friday right? And now it's Wednesday. He messaged me today once again with this message.

    But thing is, 1. I believe I probably did turn this guy down so now he's just attacking me because his feelings were hurt even though when I turn a guy down even if he's asking for sex, I still say Sorry. And then 2. If he messaged me Friday, and he's still messaging me five days later? He's not going to send those photos because he probably doesn't have them at all.
     
    #12 Revan, Oct 14, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2009
  13. EM68

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    I would just delete his email as spam. That way you won't get his garbage anymore. Problem solved.
     
    #13 EM68, Oct 14, 2009
  14. Revan

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    YEah but at the same time, I told my father someone was threatening me and friends with pictures that didn't exist. But thing is, I still can't really call the cops...because even if they didn't exist, him and I are both adults, and he's not asking for a bribe he's just trying to get my goat (bad saying I know but it fits)
     
    #14 Revan, Oct 14, 2009
  15. Chip

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    Depends where you are. It still qualifies as harassment, and I don't know about Canada, but some parts of the US, there are specific laws against cyberstalking.

    I'd say you have three choices:

    1. Ignore the messages completely. Don't even open them, just delete.

    2. Tell him that you have filed a report with the police for harassment and provided them with all the emails, IP addresses, and other information

    3. Actually file the report.

    He *might* get scared and leave you alone, but then again, he might, if no one contacts him, just be egged on. So I think I would be inclined to vote for #1.
     
    #15 Chip, Oct 14, 2009
  16. Lexington

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    Why don't you just ask? "Are you still mad because I didn't respond when you hit me up on (erotic fiction website)?" Just leave it at that.

    Lex
     
    #16 Lexington, Oct 14, 2009
  17. malachite

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    I'm with Lex on this on. This guy is playing a power game with you. He wants to see you squirm.

    Don't give him the satisfaction.

    Like the others said: block him; and, in the future becareful what you post that others can see.
     
    #17 malachite, Oct 14, 2009
  18. ADTR fan

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    so wait.. its wrong to shove stuff up your asshole? then why do so many straight homophobic guys like doggie style? hmmm their shoving shit up SOMEONES asshole.. :confused:
     
    #18 ADTR fan, Oct 14, 2009
  19. Revan

    Revan
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    I've decided not to bother responding. IF he sends it, I can just say it's not me at all. My parents I'm sure wouldn't believe I'd expose myself online
     
    #19 Revan, Oct 14, 2009
  20. BlasttheCloset

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    Wait, so your face isn't in the pics that he has? In that case, then he doesn't have anything. Just deny that it's you if he sends them to your parents.

    I think that everyone had good advice about blocking him and ignoring him, but I would also add that if it is possible, you could come out to your parents, so that nobody can have the power of threatening to out you to your family. Of course, that's only if you think that they will take it reasonably well and keep paying for your education, not disown you, etc.

    Good luck on this. (*hug*)
     
    #20 BlasttheCloset, Oct 15, 2009
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